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Kath, don't be frightened. Do call the physician who prescribed the

prednisone to you. You shouldn't try to taper without his or her advice.

It's not recommended to make big jumps in the dosage. Describe your

concerns and see what he or she recommends.

I'll tell you where to go!

Mayo Clinic in Rochester

http://www.mayoclinic.org/rochester

s Hopkins Medicine

http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org

[ ] scared

> Hi,

>

> I've been scanning the notes on prednisone and I'm scared. I can't

get into a rheumatologist until August - I've had RA symptoms since May

(early). I am taking 20 mg of prednisone a day just so I can sleep and

function - my hands are the worst. They get very very swollen, red, and

painful without the prednisone. I cut back to 10 mg. once and my hands

started hurting too much to keep that up so I went back to the 20 mg. I

read that you can have bone loss very quickly from this drug. Now I'm

terrified. But, I don't want to hurt in my hands all day, all night,

every day. Any thoughts? I could use some encouragement and advice.

>

> Thanks

>

> Kath - who is not liking this whole thing very much :)

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Kath,

You should never try to taper down or off of Prednisone on your own.

It can be extremely dangerous. It should be done under the direction

of your physician. Please call him/her, express your concerns, and

follow his/her directions precisely.

Also, keep in mind that not everyone experiences the terrible side

affects of prednisone that are dangerous to one's health. I have been

on prednisone for 6-7 years and can't go off completely as I must

take it for my lungs. I've been on 10 mg. for at least a few years.

Over the time I've taken prednisone I've frequently had to take very

large doses, often 250, 300 and 400 mg.

After about a two year bout of needing almost continual large doses

my doctor ordered a bone density scan, expecting to find significant

osteoporosis. I'd had a baseline done before starting to take

prednisone and then the one after extended, long term, huge amounts

of prednisone. The follow-up bone density scan showed no change in

bone density what-so-ever. I continue to have no bone loss and

actually have the bone density expected to be found in someone 20-30

years younger than me.

I may not be typical but I am proof that not everyone who takes

prednisone will have bone density loss.

I've experienced weight gain although now am on a weight loss trend.

I have some " buffalo hump " , which I consider more cosmetic than a

threat to my health.

The benefits I've received from the prednisone far outweigh any side

effects.

I share this not to try to convince anyone that prednisone is a good

drug for everyone, but rather to encourage any of you whose

physicians have prescribed it to keep an open mind. Yes, normally it

is a drug we find great relief from but hate to take it because of

the side affects. However, please don't let yourself get caught in a

swift current of panic and fear it is going to bring great harm to

everyone that takes it. If it caused great and horrendous harm to

everyone that takes it, it would have been pulled from the market

long ago.

Prednisone, taken under the close supervision of the prescribing

physician along with excellent communication between patient and

physician, with the patient being fully compliant, can be a very good

drug with great benefits and does not have to have significant or

devestating side affects on the patient.

MANY RA meds have the potential for serious side affects. But that

doesn't mean everyone who takes those drugs will suffer those ill

effects. Educate yourself and keep an honest and open dialogue with

your physician and you will stand the best chance of finding the best

combination of drugs for you. Always keep in mind that every person

is an individual and will react in a different manner than others.

I'm living proof that a drug that causes great harm to some is a

miracle drug for me. Prednisone keeps me alive and for that I'm very

grateful ----- and I'm very thankful that a couple of ladies on this

list opened my eyes and my mind, encouraging me to not live in fear

of every drug that has potential adverse affects. They helped me long

before this group was formed and for that I can't thank them enough.

In return, I truly hope each of you facing choices and

recommendations to take drugs which may have potential serious ill

effects will keep your minds open and not let yourselves be

prejudiced unfairly.

Fear is crippling. It is very easy to get caught in that swift

current of panic and peer pressure. That too can be more devestating

than whatever caused that panic and pressure. a, and the

members of this group have a wealth of information to share. Use it

wisely. Educate yourself and you will be able to hold intelligent,

informed discussions with your physician and will be more likely to

find an effective plan of action to treat your disease.

Answers/solutions seldom happen overnight.

Sorry to have been so long and to have rambled on and on. I'll get

off my soapbox and put my runny fingers to sleep. I just had to share

because you hit a nerve close to my heart.

Elaine in Vegas

--- In , " Kathy A " <joyfulkate60@m...>

wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I've been scanning the notes on prednisone and I'm scared. I can't

get into a rheumatologist until August - I've had RA symptoms since

May (early). I am taking 20 mg of prednisone a day just so I can

sleep and function - my hands are the worst. They get very very

swollen, red, and painful without the prednisone. I cut back to 10

mg. once and my hands started hurting too much to keep that up so I

went back to the 20 mg. I read that you can have bone loss very

quickly from this drug. Now I'm terrified. But, I don't want to

hurt in my hands all day, all night, every day. Any thoughts? I

could use some encouragement and advice.

>

> Thanks

>

> Kath - who is not liking this whole thing very much :)

>

>

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HI Kath,

I'm new to RA too. [ Probably started at about the same time as yours ] I feel

your concern, and please know we're in this together. Our difficulties kind of

makes everyone here " related " like " family " , I feel.

Kath, I don't know if this will be of help, [ I sure hope it will ] but I've

started using " Icy Hot " 3 to 4 times a day. I haven't been RA assessed yet, so

not on prescriptions at the moment. The " Icy Hot " seems to help my joints feel

a little better, so that they aren't quite as stuff for a while. I have trouble

sleeping too, but when I rub on the " Icy Hot', it seems to ease enough for me to

fall asleep. Also, I try to use a very soft rubber type ball that I can gently

squeeze. But don't do it if this causes you pain. Perhaps it would be easier

to just gently roll the ball with your opened hand. This seems to relax my hand

somewhat. I also try to avoid writing with regular barrel sized pens, [ I use

the largest barrel I can find, and with smooth flowing ink such as " roller

writers " ], and when possible, avoid holding things in a tight fist manner. I

also try to purchase household / medical equipment and tools that are made for

folks like us. Website www.mayoclinic.com has some helpful info on RA.

Also, for your sake, if there are household things that can wait, let them wait.

Your body needs to rest as well as your mind and spirit. If there is someone

who can help you with things, let them.

I realize you may already know and perhaps do these things, but if any of it

helps you, then I'm glad. This is kind of like learning to " walk " , but in

another way.

Kath, I wish you the best and my prayers are with you and keep your chin up. :

- )

Jefersea

[ ] scared

Hi,

I've been scanning the notes on prednisone and I'm scared. I can't get into a

rheumatologist until August - I've had RA symptoms since May (early). I am

taking 20 mg of prednisone a day just so I can sleep and function - my hands are

the worst. They get very very swollen, red, and painful without the prednisone.

I cut back to 10 mg. once and my hands started hurting too much to keep that up

so I went back to the 20 mg. I read that you can have bone loss very quickly

from this drug. Now I'm terrified. But, I don't want to hurt in my hands all

day, all night, every day. Any thoughts? I could use some encouragement and

advice.

Thanks

Kath - who is not liking this whole thing very much :)

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Guest guest

Kath,

I don't think it's realistic or safe (not a doctor here) to cut from

20mgs to 10mgs. If you want to try to reduce it, talk to the doctor

who prescribed it and consider cutting out 1mg a week or something

like that. My rheumy said it is common to have some additional pain

after cutting the dose, but it's often temporary (we were discussing

a very small decrease such as 1mg-2.5mgs at a time).

I have had bone loss from the prednisone. You can have your primary

doctor refer you for a dexa scan to at least see where your bones

stand today. Then you can get another one in 6 months or so and see

if anything is changing. Also, you should be taking 1500mgs of

calcuim with vitamin D each day. You can only absorb 500mgs at a

time so I take three 500mg tablets each day.

There are many other things you can/should do to prevent bone loss.

Weight bearing exercises are the best. Walking while carrying 1 or 2

lb weights I read as recommended I think in an arthritis magazine,

but I can't walk very long - it kills my feet. I can lift weights at

the gym. The machines require, slow, limited range of motion with

weight resistance. A trainer can show you how to do it safely, and

my rule is don't do it if it hurts. I can do most things people

without RA do, but there are a few things I couldn't. Tell the

trainer about your RA and that you have an increased risk for

osteoporosis, and they can develop an appropriate regimine. Also,

discuss it with your doctor. I also don't work out (or don't work

out really hard) if I am having a lot of swelling or too much

fatigue. I do try to go one - three times per week. Trust me, it

helps and you can do it.

I imagine waiting to see a rheumy is hard. I wish you the best.

Jennie

--- In , " Kathy A " <joyfulkate60@m...>

wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I've been scanning the notes on prednisone and I'm scared. I can't

get into a rheumatologist until August - I've had RA symptoms since

May (early). I am taking 20 mg of prednisone a day just so I can

sleep and function - my hands are the worst. They get very very

swollen, red, and painful without the prednisone. I cut back to 10

mg. once and my hands started hurting too much to keep that up so I

went back to the 20 mg. I read that you can have bone loss very

quickly from this drug. Now I'm terrified. But, I don't want to

hurt in my hands all day, all night, every day. Any thoughts? I

could use some encouragement and advice.

>

> Thanks

>

> Kath - who is not liking this whole thing very much :)

>

>

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Guest guest

Before I was diagnosed with RA, I got an appointment to see a

rheumatologist in August, too, three months away. I was having

unbearable pain and was taking only Aleve. I looked the rheumy up on

the Internet and found out that he had an email address. I emailed him;

he felt sorry for me and called me to say that he was going to get me

in sooner than August.

So you might try looking up your rheumy on the Internet and see if he

has an email address. Then explain your problem to him and see what

happens.

Sue

On Thursday, June 17, 2004, at 10:37 PM, Kathy A wrote:

>

> I've been scanning the notes on prednisone and I'm scared. I can't

> get into a rheumatologist until August - I've had RA symptoms since

> May (early). I am taking 20 mg of prednisone a day just so I can

> sleep and function - my hands are the worst. They get very very

> swollen, red, and painful without the prednisone. I cut back to 10

> mg. once and my hands started hurting too much to keep that up so I

> went back to the 20 mg. I read that you can have bone loss very

> quickly from this drug. Now I'm terrified. But, I don't want to hurt

> in my hands all day, all night, every day. Any thoughts? I could use

> some encouragement and advice.

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Guest guest

Kath, Meds are scary, just don't stop taking them that's very

dangerous. I wish that you could get in earlier to see your rheumy.

I would contact the office, speak to a nurse and explain your fears

of Prednisone. You take care, Tawny

--- In , " Kathy A " <joyfulkate60@m...>

wrote:

> Hi,

>

> I've been scanning the notes on prednisone and I'm scared. I can't

get into a rheumatologist until August - I've had RA symptoms since

May (early). I am taking 20 mg of prednisone a day just so I can

sleep and function - my hands are the worst. They get very very

swollen, red, and painful without the prednisone. I cut back to 10

mg. once and my hands started hurting too much to keep that up so I

went back to the 20 mg. I read that you can have bone loss very

quickly from this drug. Now I'm terrified. But, I don't want to

hurt in my hands all day, all night, every day. Any thoughts? I

could use some encouragement and advice.

>

> Thanks

>

> Kath - who is not liking this whole thing very much :)

>

>

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  • 1 year later...

In a message dated 12/30/2005 8:22:02 PM Central Standard Time,

pmreid@... writes:

Well, still no diagnosis yet, but symptoms are persistent. It has

lasted 3 weeks now.

push for a diagnosis. get help and meds if needed. you can still live a

somewhat normal life if youc atch whatever it is early enough.

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first find out if there is a clinic in your area where you will be

seeking treatment. Always ask for cash pay discount. Teaching

hospitals sometimes have clinics which are sliding scale fees.

As far as meds are concerned there are programs for the

uninsured...they do work by income..so I am not sure if you will

qualify but apply for everything that you can.

Can you possibly get a job since you are a nurse in a clinic or place

that provides benefits? You should also be able to get short and

long term disability too. Usually this means you have to work a year

before you can use the benefits...but this might give you enough

time.

Now is a good time before you have a Dx to change jobs. I would also

find out about buying disability insurance and medical insurance if

you have to go the self insured route. Also see if you can get

insurance that pays if you loose or have a drastic change of income

on your credit cards, car loans and morgage.

This is not to say that you will not be able to work...but if you

have to deal with this you will be prepared.

Another suggestion would be working for a private doc...the income

would be low...but most employees get there healthcare for free and

med samples when they need them.

When you see the doc ask for samples!!! Let them know you have NO

health insurance and pay 100% out of your pocket for care. That

might help.

Toni

>

> Well, still no diagnosis yet, but symptoms are persistent. It has

> lasted 3 weeks now. The pain in my hands, feet, ankles, and wrists

is

> beginning to keep me from sleeping now. Which is difficult, since I

> work 12 hr shifts...So tired, with no sleep. Someone at work gave

me an

> idea, that I could buy a device that helps to get lids off

containers.

> I bought a 'bag lady' cart, to get things back and forth from the

> store. Thanks be that I can fairly well tolerate walking, so I can

get

> around to do those things. Unless someone comes up with something

> better for treatment, I just will not be working very much longer,

just

> can't use my hands well enough, and being a nurse that is VERY

> important. You all talk about so many things, and I am wondering,

with

> a better income, and no insurance, how I am going to be able to

afford

> all the doctor visits, lab tests, etc, since I don't qualify for

any

> assistance. Does anyone have any ideas, anything I can do to help

> defray costs, since I think I am headed for a very costly thing.

The ES

> Tylenol helps some, allows a couple hours sleep at a time, so

better

> than nothing. Feeling very scared about all this. The worst part is

the

> pain and severe swelling in my hands. They are becoming weak enough

I

> have trouble holding onto things at all. Went to put a shower

curtain

> down by the cashier at Walmart the other day, and it came out of my

> grip aand ended up almost thrown at her by mistake. So

embarrassing.

> Any ideas would be much appreciated.

> Pam

>

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In a message dated 12/31/2005 4:12:33 AM Central Standard Time,

aclavern33@... writes:

As far as meds are concerned there are programs for the

uninsured...they do work by income..so I am not sure if you will

qualify but apply for everything that you can.

yes there are programs out there. I thnak the makers of Humira for being so

generous. A website that may help is pparx.org. hugs

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  • 3 weeks later...

,

The heart issue is something I have had plenty of experience of, missed beats, thumping chest, beating in my throat, very quick heart rate you name it I had it and its awful !!!!

I have to agree with Lea and get an ECG done, I did and saw a specialist but although they picked them up on the monitor it was nothing to worry about so get the tests done and it should put your mind at rest.

Sue

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Hi all,

As you all know, I am scheduled for explant on Feb. 3. I am afraid that it will

not be soon enough. I have had a rough few days. My neck and spine has hurt so

bad. I have no strength and have been extremely fatigued. The part that is

scaring me is my heart. I have had extreme pain and burning in my chest. I can

feel my heart jump around, like it is an engine struggling to fire up. My heart

rate changes from very low to high without any physical exertion. I get winded

when I talk, and my right kidney has been hurting. I almost passed out at

church, and couldnt participate in worship. Last night I was lying in my bed

and my heart started to pump very hard and I couldn't sleep. I prayed and it

calmed down so I could sleep. I was afraid I wasn't going to wake up again if I

fell asleep. My husband lost his first wife and found her dead, I was afraid he

was going to have to go through that again. Have any of you ever felt this way?

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Hi , I had that same heart jumping experience when sleeping

at night, I had it before surgery and I had it for about a week

after surgery. Haven't had it since then. It is terrifying, that's

for sure. Actually a few weeks before my surgery I wasn't sure I

was going to make it to my surgery either, but luckily I am here to

talk about it.

Sis

>

>

> Hi all,

>

> As you all know, I am scheduled for explant on Feb. 3. I am

afraid that it will not be soon enough. I have had a rough few

days. My neck and spine has hurt so bad. I have no strength and

have been extremely fatigued. The part that is scaring me is my

heart. I have had extreme pain and burning in my chest. I can feel

my heart jump around, like it is an engine struggling to fire up.

My heart rate changes from very low to high without any physical

exertion. I get winded when I talk, and my right kidney has been

hurting. I almost passed out at church, and couldnt participate in

worship. Last night I was lying in my bed and my heart started to

pump very hard and I couldn't sleep. I prayed and it calmed down so

I could sleep. I was afraid I wasn't going to wake up again if I

fell asleep. My husband lost his first wife and found her dead, I

was afraid he was going to have to go through that again. Have any

of you ever felt this way?

>

>

>

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I really feel for you and can sympathize. Once I realized it was

the implants making me sick, I got pretty anxious to get them out.

Just knowing they were harming me and there was nothing I could do

about it was nervewracking. I have experienced the crazy heartbeat

also - never sure if it was from medicines, anxiety, or the

implants. Feb 3rd seems so far away, doesn't it? It will get

here. Hang in there. I'm praying for you.

Cherie

>

>

> Hi all,

>

> As you all know, I am scheduled for explant on Feb. 3. I am

afraid that it will not be soon enough. I have had a rough few

days. My neck and spine has hurt so bad. I have no strength and

have been extremely fatigued. The part that is scaring me is my

heart. I have had extreme pain and burning in my chest. I can feel

my heart jump around, like it is an engine struggling to fire up.

My heart rate changes from very low to high without any physical

exertion. I get winded when I talk, and my right kidney has been

hurting. I almost passed out at church, and couldnt participate in

worship. Last night I was lying in my bed and my heart started to

pump very hard and I couldn't sleep. I prayed and it calmed down so

I could sleep. I was afraid I wasn't going to wake up again if I

fell asleep. My husband lost his first wife and found her dead, I

was afraid he was going to have to go through that again. Have any

of you ever felt this way?

>

>

>

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Lea, I think that's great advice for - check on the heart

and if possible, move up the surgery. I have MVP (Mitral Valve

Prolapse) as well, have had it for many years, and when something is

wrong with me healthwise, it really acts up. Also, even though I

don't like taking medications, I did take Xanax for a little while

after the surgery and it really helped the palpitations.

Sis

--- In , " Lea " <devans@c...>

wrote:

>

> Dearest :

>

> I'm so sorry that you have to go through all this pain and

suffering. I wish

> that you could have an ECG to see what is going on with your

heart. Please

> see your family doctor and ask for help. I too had some severe

problems with

> my heart before I had these devices removed. The good news is that

my heart

> is fine except for the MVP, and even this condition has

improved...if that

> is possible.

>

> Honey, is there any way that you could be explanted sooner? I

think that if

> you see your doctor he/she will help to put your mind at ease.

>

> Sending love always........Lea

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``

> scared

>

>

> >

> > Hi all,

> >

> > As you all know, I am scheduled for explant on Feb. 3. I am

afraid that

> > it will not be soon enough. I have had a rough few days. My

neck and

> > spine has hurt so bad. I have no strength and have been

extremely

> > fatigued. The part that is scaring me is my heart. I have had

extreme

> > pain and burning in my chest. I can feel my heart jump around,

like it is

> > an engine struggling to fire up. My heart rate changes from

very low to

> > high without any physical exertion. I get winded when I talk,

and my

> > right kidney has been hurting. I almost passed out at church,

and couldnt

> > participate in worship. Last night I was lying in my bed and my

heart

> > started to pump very hard and I couldn't sleep. I prayed and it

calmed

> > down so I could sleep. I was afraid I wasn't going to wake up

again if I

> > fell asleep. My husband lost his first wife and found her dead,

I was

> > afraid he was going to have to go through that again. Have any

of you

> > ever felt this way?

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Opinions expressed are NOT meant to take the place of advice

given by

> > licensed health care professionals. Consult your physician or

licensed

> > health care professional before commencing any medical treatment.

> >

> > " Do not let either the medical authorities or the politicians

mislead you.

> > Find out what the facts are, and make your own decisions about

how to live

> > a happy life and how to work for a better world. " - Linus

ing,

> > two-time Nobel Prize Winner (1954, Chemistry; 1963, Peace)

> >

> > See our photos website! Enter " implants " for access at this link:

> > http://.shutterfly.com/action/

> >

> >

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,

It sounds like an anxiety problem . . . It might help

if you found a way to spend the day relaxing,

concentrating on pleasant things . . . Whenever a

depressing thought comes in, shoo it out, and think

happy thoughts.

It's not at all unusual for a woman to have her worst

times just before surgery.

Do drink plenty of non-chlorinated water.

Find a funny movie, inspirational book, meditate, do

something you love doing, think of all those who love

you and all the wonderful times you've had with them.

Look at old picture albums and remember the good

times. Controlling the thoughts you dwell on can go a

long way toward feeling better.

Hugs and prayers,

Rogene

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- I experienced irregular heartbeat during my illness,

especially at rest. I attributed that to the strain my body was

under because of being ill, when my body is fighting something like

this, my heartbeat gets really crazy and I notice it the most when

I'm resting. Could be stress on the body itself, or related to

stress that you feel emotionally.

Sis

> ,

>

> It sounds like an anxiety problem . . . It might help

> if you found a way to spend the day relaxing,

> concentrating on pleasant things . . . Whenever a

> depressing thought comes in, shoo it out, and think

> happy thoughts.

>

> It's not at all unusual for a woman to have her worst

> times just before surgery.

>

> Do drink plenty of non-chlorinated water.

>

> Find a funny movie, inspirational book, meditate, do

> something you love doing, think of all those who love

> you and all the wonderful times you've had with them.

> Look at old picture albums and remember the good

> times. Controlling the thoughts you dwell on can go a

> long way toward feeling better.

>

> Hugs and prayers,

>

> Rogene

>

>

>

> Opinions expressed are NOT meant to take the place of advice given

by licensed health care professionals. Consult your physician or

licensed health care professional before commencing any medical

treatment.

>

> " Do not let either the medical authorities or the politicians

mislead you. Find out what the facts are, and make your own

decisions about how to live a happy life and how to work for a

better world. " - Linus ing, two-time Nobel Prize Winner (1954,

Chemistry; 1963, Peace)

>

> See our photos website! Enter " implants " for access at this link:

> http://.shutterfly.com/action/

>

>

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, Honey I know exactly what your going through. What you

explained is what I've been experiencing for the last 6 yrs. I have

had ER visits numerous times through out the 6 yrs with the symptoms

like a heart attack. EMC even gives me Nitro-glycerin, thats how bad

it is. I have also in 6 yrs had two series a few yrs apart of the

treadmill/stress test and Muga heart scans and both times was normal.

And at I literally feel my heart pounding so bad I feel in the veins

pumping up and down my arms and legs (which just developed about a yr

ago). Even though the reports says I'm okay, my body and mind re-acts

and panic/smothery feeling, its so scary. I explant Jan 31-Dr. Kolb

and like you I wish it was yesterday. Hang in there, Honey we will

Survive this. My anxiety and fear of what may happen during my surgery

is about to get to me. But, I feel I'm in good hands. The Lord and

Dr. Kolb.

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Hello, I also had that same feeling.I would be sleeping and all of a sudden my heart was racing and I wanted to tell my husband to call 911. But would sit on the floor and try to relaxes and take deep breaths.Sometimes I would be sitting or taking a shower. I'm going to have this implants taken out this week on thrusday January 19. I hope eveything goes well. I'm very nervous. I gone though this 4 times because my implants ruptured. I will keep you in my prayers. I always say some prayer for women who have them and women who dont have them no more. Jackieauntsisnj <auntsisnj@...> wrote: Hi , I had that same heart jumping experience when sleeping at night, I had it before surgery and I had it for about a week after

surgery. Haven't had it since then. It is terrifying, that's for sure. Actually a few weeks before my surgery I wasn't sure I was going to make it to my surgery either, but luckily I am here to talk about it.Sis>> > Hi all,> > As you all know, I am scheduled for explant on Feb. 3. I am afraid that it will not be soon enough. I have had a rough few days. My neck and spine has hurt so bad. I have no strength and have been extremely fatigued. The part that is scaring me is my heart. I have had extreme pain and burning in my chest. I can feel my heart jump around, like it is an engine struggling to fire up. My heart rate changes from very low to high without any physical exertion. I get winded when I talk, and my right

kidney has been hurting. I almost passed out at church, and couldnt participate in worship. Last night I was lying in my bed and my heart started to pump very hard and I couldn't sleep. I prayed and it calmed down so I could sleep. I was afraid I wasn't going to wake up again if I fell asleep. My husband lost his first wife and found her dead, I was afraid he was going to have to go through that again. Have any of you ever felt this way? > > >

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Hi ,

I feel for you and can completely relate to your story and anxieties!

I also suffer from severe neck and spine paines, heart palpitations,

pain in heart area, kidneys, etc. My left side has given me more

troubles from the beginning, it almost seems as if my implant has made

connections through parts of my lungs...Some days when I breathe in

deeple it hurts so bad I get really scared! It's as if the implant is

eating its way through my lung and part of my heart tissue to the back

of my back! And the beating of the heart feels really weird too. I

always had a very low (almost extremely low) blood pressure and pulse.

Now sometimes it feels like my heart tries to beat it's way out of my

body (I start sweating like crazy too). As you, I am extremely tired

all the time. I have been so tired for such a long time that I had to

quit my school, job, even gave up housekeeping and cooking etc.

It's unfair and very sad that you have to go through all this. I

certainly think that you are not going to die from you implants and

the beginning of February will be here before you know it when you try

to focus on all the good things in your life/your surroundings. I know

it's not easy - I get anxious now that I know it must be the implants,

when thinking about the fact that I have to wait probably about half a

year before my husband can make time to join me for my explant - but

you are so much more than your implants!!! You are a strong woman,

you'll make it for sure.

Since a year I am keeping a grateful journal. It's hard to focus on

good things or the wonders of nature or the happiness your family and

friends bring you when you are in constant pain and fatigue. So I

promised myself I'd write down 5 things each nite before turning in

that I am grateful for. I have managed to write almost every day.

Helps me focus on happiness i still have, eventough I am in a lot of

pain and extremely tired too.

Go for a nice walk outside, take a deep breath without thinking about

the implants and smell the grass/feel the cold wind. It'll make you

have more positive thoughts!

Cheers,

Audrey

(I had/ sort of still have a bit left of, the flu).

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Hey ,

Audrey here again:

You describe exactly how I feel too when you say " I just feel like

this illness has invaded every part of me " . I suppose many women on

this support group feel the same way, and I am very grateful to have

found you.

Thanks for sharing all your experiences, feelings, and knowledge.

Hang in there,

Audrey

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Audrey,

A Grateful Journey sounds neat. My husband(Bless his patient heart)

is trying to help me stop thinking/expressing neg. thoughts and sad

emotions as they arise. Since my condition has become a daily trauma,

finding positive is an effort. I'm an open book. I am what you

see. Which for the most part is good until a crisis comes up. And I

wear my self/husband out emotionally.

I've got to share this was so cute... My husbands just came and

kissed me saying, " Your little fingers are going so fast-how cute " . I

told him, " yeah, when you hear me typing its giving your ears a rest

honey " . He has been such a God sent Blessing. I so Thankful for his

support and caregiving. Anyway Audrey, I " m starting My Grateful

Journal tonight.

a

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Hi a,

WOnderful! I am very happy to read that you are both typing and

starting a grateful journey tonight. You posted the message while I

was searching for your post-Kolb visit update. My heart goes out to

you - and in my opinoin you are a 'Shero' for immediately trying to

find and write down the good/happy moments in your painful/fatigued

daily life.

Also a big HBM (Hug By Mail - made it up week and a half ago in a

reply message) for your husband. I am glad he's so supportive,

helpful, and patient. My husband feels helpless a lot I suppose (I can

tell by the way he looks at me, you know?).

Isn't it ironic that these implants are giving not only us but also

our husbands/significant others such a hard time instead of pleasure?!

All we wanted was feeling better about ourselves! (Girls just want to

have fun, Ms. Lauper was right (of course we want more than that, but

still, a little fun now and then is a nice to have in your life).

Take care,

Audrey

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Audry, I know our husbands are so helpless feeling. My husband and

I are brutally honest with each other (it works for us) We have

only been married for 4 yrs. 8 months after we married was when my

condition started everyday and has progressively gotten worse

since. At first he thought I was giving in to depression because my

dad passed away 2 months before we married(on my Birthday) and my

dad was like a best friend as well as my mentor. I was in grief

also, but I knew it wasn't depression. 2003 I woke up and could not

raise/lift myself up and then I could not walk without his help. He

knew then something bad was taking over my functions. He talked me

into Chiropractic which is in Holistic Med as well.. He went with

me to 4 Drs. and to them I had no real reason I should be sick.

When he took me to my Chiro. and seen the inflammation scan results

he almost cried. And apologized for not understanding. A year and

half twice week Chiro. helped me gain enough strentgh to make

Atlanta trip. After 3 hrs. of her consult and a few lab results

from there, he got those tears again, and he said, " I can't believe

I had been thinking the past year you was maybe giving in to some of

your pain, " he apologized again. if I had actually been giving in

to the pain- he would still have taken care of me. Audry, I've

learned its so hard for men to express their fear and sadness, due

to wanting to be the strong one. In the mist of my condition, I've

noticed at times he has his aches and pains but would never express

it so I wouldn't worry. I'll be so glad when I can go a day without

being so disabled and our marriage is not based on my good/bad

days. For many yrs there was no light at the end of that tunnel..

I see light now.

Our husbands, children and family and friends need prayer also.

They Love us and feel so helpless seeing our pain. Educate and allow

your husband/family to be a part of your every step. Although some

men may seem not interested. They are, but, its really overwhelming

for them too. It takes time to soak in for them, because they wished

we didn't have to go through it. Take Care, a

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My husband told me he thought I was just being neurotic, it took him

a long time to realize my symptoms were real. After three weeks of

having implants, one of my joints swelled up and turned red, and the

vein inside that finger must have bled under the skin because my

finger turned black and blue. I knew I was in trouble then, and

every time I tried to talk to my husband about it, he shut down.

Eventually he opened his eyes, but he pretty much abandoned me for a

couple of months. Now he's just the opposite, always saying nice

things to me, but I was ready to go stay somewhere else so I could

heal in peace.

Sis

>

> Audry, I know our husbands are so helpless feeling. My husband

and

> I are brutally honest with each other (it works for us) We have

> only been married for 4 yrs. 8 months after we married was when

my

> condition started everyday and has progressively gotten worse

> since. At first he thought I was giving in to depression because

my

> dad passed away 2 months before we married(on my Birthday) and my

> dad was like a best friend as well as my mentor. I was in grief

> also, but I knew it wasn't depression. 2003 I woke up and could

not

> raise/lift myself up and then I could not walk without his help.

He

> knew then something bad was taking over my functions. He talked

me

> into Chiropractic which is in Holistic Med as well.. He went with

> me to 4 Drs. and to them I had no real reason I should be sick.

> When he took me to my Chiro. and seen the inflammation scan

results

> he almost cried. And apologized for not understanding. A year

and

> half twice week Chiro. helped me gain enough strentgh to make

> Atlanta trip. After 3 hrs. of her consult and a few lab results

> from there, he got those tears again, and he said, " I can't

believe

> I had been thinking the past year you was maybe giving in to some

of

> your pain, " he apologized again. if I had actually been giving in

> to the pain- he would still have taken care of me. Audry, I've

> learned its so hard for men to express their fear and sadness, due

> to wanting to be the strong one. In the mist of my condition, I've

> noticed at times he has his aches and pains but would never

express

> it so I wouldn't worry. I'll be so glad when I can go a day

without

> being so disabled and our marriage is not based on my good/bad

> days. For many yrs there was no light at the end of that

tunnel..

> I see light now.

> Our husbands, children and family and friends need prayer also.

> They Love us and feel so helpless seeing our pain. Educate and

allow

> your husband/family to be a part of your every step. Although

some

> men may seem not interested. They are, but, its really

overwhelming

> for them too. It takes time to soak in for them, because they

wished

> we didn't have to go through it. Take Care, a

>

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Audrey,

Your message to really struck my heart! . . .

You've been through so much! . . . However, I can see

that you're mentally packing your bags for the long

haul!

You're going to do fine! One step at a time!

Hugs and prayers,

Rogene

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