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Hi,

I need some support and encouragement. I am so angry and

discouraged. I feel so much emotion. I feel violated. I am mad

about the way that I have been treated. I know that anger isn't

healthy. When I am not angry I feel so depressed.

I am sad that I saved up money for implants that were to better my

life. I know hindsight is 20/20, but still it is hard accepting

this. I can barely afford getting them out. Not to mention all of

the other financial burdens my implants have brought into my life. I

am told that I will need a lift, but I cannot afford it. I feel

fortunate that I am getting an explant and thank God for Dr's that

understand and this group. I think it is wonderful that women

are speaking out about their experiences (Now I am too), if they

hadn't I would have never figured out why I was so ill. But still I

feel such a horrible loss. My friends and family tell me that it

will be okay and who cares about my figure, but it isn't just my

figure it is how I feel. It is depressing to constantly be battling

daily pain and fatigue. It is scary to be presenting with signs and

symptoms of diseases like Lupus and RA. I also breastfed 2 children

with my implants. Then you add in the other things and it is over

whelming. I need help letting go and dealing with my anger and new

physical appearance.

Hugs to all, MK

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