my before/after pictures

[Guest guest]

Hi,

I pulled out my before/after pictures yesterday. It was very

emotional looking at the photos. I remember everything I felt

before/after my implants. For the last 5 years since getting my

implants I have been so happy with them or so I thought. The implants

had really improved my self-estem. I am sick and know getting the

implants out is going to better my health, but I still have so many

emotions tied to my implants. I know I can't beat myself up, but I

now look at my before pictures and wonder why I felt so compelled to

get implants. I have had so many compliments about my figure and felt

so confident going places. Now I hardly go anywhere, because I am not

feeling well. I am very excited to regain my health, but really

scared that I am going to suffer additional depression with loss of my

figure. I know that a lot of people experience fluffing and have good

outcome after explant. I however know that I am mostly implant and

already had drooping before my implants. I know my self estem is

something that I have to work on. I want to learn how to be happy

with what I have. I would really appreciate any ideas. I have done a

lot of praying and find much comfort from this group. I feel so

alone, but when I am on-line reading posts I feel okay.

My husband is away in the military, so this is adding additional

stress for me. I am trying hard to be supportive to him. It is hard

talking to him for only a few minutes on the phone or thru letters.

He is supportive in the fact that he says that we will do whatever it

takes to get me explanted, but I don't feel he understands the

emotions I am going thru. I understand he is dealing with his own

issues in this whole thing, but still feel like he doesn't get it.

This past weekend I went on line to do our banking and I saw that he

had dinner at Hooters Resturant. I was mortified. I knew that he

most likely went along with a group and has never cared for the

resturant and was against my getting implants, but I still thought and

still think it was the worst place he could have gone at this point.

His wife is at home trying to keep the fires burning with 3 little

kids and a complete emotional wreck. Am I wrong in feeling this

way?? It sounds like several woman have supportive spouses or

boyfriends in their lives -- any advice for me or anything I can pass

along to my husband would be appreciated.

Thanks for listening to me. )