Visit with my PCP

[Guest guest]

Hello All,

I would like to first say that my welcome to Becky might have come off

as quite dark. I am sorry Becky, I didn't mean that to be so dark.

You are very welcome. I think my point was that I am so glad you are

here with us, because that is what gets us through from day to day

sometimes.

I know that I sound quite suicidal, but I would like to explain this a

bit. I am tired and the end of the road is almost here. I have

talked to my family and to my friends about leaving this world. They

do not like it, but they understand it. I am on all the mind

medicines, see all the mind doctors, etc., but I think I have just

reached that point and I am okay with it. I didn't realize how bad it

would be without pain medication. I can't even cry because it hurts

only that much more.

Anyway, as you all know, the pain doc wasn't sure if he was going to

put in the pain pump because of my BP. He wants to chat with my PCP

after I see her. I seen her this morning and she is going to call him

(not dictate) and she is going to have my kidney doc (I have an

adrenal tumor) call him also. She is going to tell him that we really

have no choice--there are no other options and we are close to losing

her. She said that she has seen the BP do this over and over and over

again. So, just like you all said...I've got her on my side. I will

find out tomorrow if they will do the trial on Wednesday or not.

Another thing I chatted with my doc about it getting my drugs from

Canada or Mexico. She said let's try this first. Anyway, do any of

you know any details about that. All the websites are so alluring.

Thanks for your time, Love you all

Jodie