venting

[Guest guest]

HI all! well today was a tuff day.Good thing is i didnt have brain

fog today!!!It was like everything came crashing down on me. I know

we all have are days .Today i got my surgery report and pathology

report.Well it hit me hard today.What the heck did i do to myself.

What if something happens to me or my girls. There my litle

blessing.You know kids seem to know things.Both my girls never

wanted to nurse on my left breast.My left breast never got as much

milk .I knew somthing was wrong when my 20 moths old didnt want it

at all. I think i stop nursing in oct or nov in 2005. My girls are

fine though.They rarely get sick. we live in arizona not to far from

vegas but i notice since we moved to this town.There are lots of

sick kids . I know it the water supply.There is a nuclear test site

up in nevada.I know all that get in are water.I have filter and do

all i can to clean the water.I so pray god will send us back where

we use to live .And we would be still in arizona.

ugh back to brest infection Dr kolb said i did have a breast

infection on left breast but it was gone when she open me up.But

when i read the surgery report it said i still has a breast

infection. confused.But i know i have a breast infection now.Im

getting the same pain i had before.It not pain that would stop you

in your tracks .I just can feel something. I know what to do for

it .I feel im very intune with my body .Like when people say you

need to listen to your body. I do. i just need to be real strict

with everything in my diet again and i need some more FYi and Rm

10.I have the essiac tea but keep forgeting to make it. i need to do

tomorrow.

Money has been tight since the surgery.I feel bad because it seem im

adding stress to my husband. He said dont worry michele we will get

thru this. God will take care of us.He very glad i got them out .He

want me to get better. iknow he glad because my moods are so

different. . he felt he was walking on egg shell but he said he

doesnt feel like that anymore. The angry seem s to be gone. I would

get angry at things .But now i cry my husband said well that what

you normally do when something upset you.But then after a while you

dont cry anymore you get angry.harden heart.God sure has work some

miracles in me.

I know things will get better and im trusting in God thru all

this.But im human .I want to have a life.Not to feel i cant go

anyplace or see people.I think another reason im having a hard time

easter coming up and we will go to my husband family and we have to

stay at there house.Some of the smells just kill me .But more and

more there understanding.I just want to have a good time.

Sometime a good cry helps me then it like it all comes together.

venting helps me to.

thank you for letting me vent and thank you for all you guys do. God

was watching out for me.I starting question implants not to long ago

and that when i did my research on mercola and starting asking

question at my doctor.Im glad ilena had info there.Where would i be

now.

This was hard for me to post but i know you all understand

good night god bless hugs michele