What to do!

[Guest guest]

I got implants about 5 years ago when I was 21. I went through a

tramatic recovery having lots of pain and styain on the pain meds

tonz- I was extremely stressed in life and ate terribly before the

operaation so I'm not surprised it took me a long time to heal. I'd

never been in the hospital before in my life though....Anyway, soon

thereafter I had a major life crises including seperating from my

fiancee and moving back home. We were apart for 2 months where I went

through extreme depression and lonliness and then we decided to get

married. He moved out to where I was living and we planned a wedding

which stressed me tonz as well. Soon thereafter I began experiecing

depression and chronic fatigue. I was sensitive to foods and having

migraines almost daily. I was unhappy inside spiritually and

emotionally and had major self esteem issues and wasn't enjoying my

marriage at all. I started to think it was the implants that was

causing it because I had been different since the surgery. So I tried

to cleanse my body by fasting but have obsessive tendencies and lost

tonz of weight and thought of myself as pretty much dying...Anyway, I

had the implants removed without replacement by Dr. Feng in Ohio. I

didn't feel any better and got worse and worse for two years. Then, I

finally had a mental breakdown in December of 2003. I finally

admitted I had a major problem and went to the doctor and was

prescribed antidepressants. I immediately felt better and started

doing inner work and spirituality work and finding myself more. It's

been 3 1/2 years since explant and I'm feeling like I'd really like

to get implants again- feeling that the trauma was the cause that

triggered something that was already there. Not to fix anything

inside....just because after explant I don't even need a bra- there

is NO tissue left and just big scars. I feel like a boy....it's way

worse than before the operation...So I'm needing advice please...Has

anyone else been in my place? I feel bad in clothes still and its

just an insecurity- I wish there was another option....anyway, please

someone help!

Thanks,

Amber