Re: Margie - and husbands

[Guest guest]

Margie,

Yes, I did moon my hubby out the window!! He snapped at me before

he went outside to do some yardwork, and I knocked on the window and

mooned him!! For some reason, when he's acting like a complete

buffoon the only way for me to get through to him is to do something

totally shocking, and it somehow makes him realize how silly he's

acting!! Last summer, while I still had implants, my husband was

treating me just terribly, and I was at the peak of my sickness from

implants. He was giving me the silent treatment and I played along

with it and gave him the slient treatment back, but it just fed the

fire because that's what he wanted. So, one morning I marched

downstairs (because he was sleeping on the couch while not speaking

to me) and I said " you know what? I'm not going to play your silly

silent treatment game anymore. I expect you to get over it by the

time you get home from work tonight " . He also somehow felt that it

was punishment to not eat the dinners that I was cooking, and

instead would make himself fried eggs or plain pasta, so to that I

said " If you don't want to eat my food, I don't care, but I'm

cooking it because I gotta eat!! Oh, and you'd better get to the

store pretty soon because you're running out of eggs and pasta " . By

that night he was speaking (and eating). He was not supportive of

my getting an explant, and thought I was being neurotic, even though

my joints were swelling up and I was running fevers every day, and

had lost 10 lbs. Every time I brought up getting an explant, or

suggested I was sick because of the implants, he blew a gasket. I

made plans to go to Dr. Feng and for weeks I was trying to find a

way to tell him, but this was during the silent treatment period.

The day came for me to head out to Ohio and I still hadn't told him,

because his reactions weren't pleasant even though the silent

treatment was over, so I called him while I was on my way to pick up

my sister and head to Ohio for the explant. It took something

drastic to finally snap him out of it, and that really started him

on his way to being supportive.

Anyway, I find the best way to deal with him is just drawing a line

in the sand. If I get upset and hurt, it seems to fuel his

behavior.

Sis

>

> Margie,

>

> Your husband may not realize it, but the most

> expensive asset he has is YOU! . . . It sounds like

> you need to give yourself some pep talks, then stand

> up for yourself! . . . You may find your hubby does a

> complete about face! . . . If not, you'll find a

> better life! You will get a substantial part of his

> business - but plan your moves carefully.

>

> Something I'd suggest trying with your husband . . .

> Sis can really fill you in on some stratgies . . . Do

> some silly, totally unexpected things to break the

> stress between the two of you! . . . Like Sis mooned

> her hubby through the window! . . . Humor can go a

> long way to bring people together. If you can see a

> pattern, do something entirely unexpected to break the

> pattern. Keep him guessing! . . . Do some things for

> yourself, just because you want to! Make him wonder

> why you're happy!

>

> I can't promise that things will get better . . . but

> I think you'll feel better - Then maybe, just maybe,

> things will begin to change! You've got a lot of years

> invested in your marriage . . . Maybe it's just gotten

> stale and needs some shaking up!

>

> Hugs and prayers,

>

> Rogene

>