Re: Re: more regarding rain showers (Sofia)

[Guest guest]

sofiapeel wrote: " And her reply was, " Well, I don't

know

what you are up to. I mean if you stole someone's credit card or

something. I needed to find out what is going on. " " Sofia,

Yes, that is something SO infuriating that they do! It is exactly like the

old " joke " question, " Are you still beating your wife? " There's no correct

answer, if you're NOT a wife-beater.

And it's similar to what the trio of nada-types were doing to me last week

about the e-list, telling everyone I was censoring them and was some kind of

crazy control freak, when the only thing I have ever filtered was the spam. I

" had to " let them post crazy, mean, personal attacks for a week (not good)

because to censor them would have been to " prove them right " (also not good).

Stolen a credit card indeed! Pshaw!

Be well!

Flea

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[Guest guest]

Sofia,

Thanks. You don’t know -- no, you probably do know -- how much that meant

to me today. Some things happened lately, including with a FOO member (in

a Rare Contact) that knocked me down spiritually. This morning, I got

teary about the passing of a good one I never met, Dana Reeves. I’m

working again to be inspired by the spirit of good people like her, the

ones here, and my Higher Power.

One Non-BP Recovering Man

--- sofiapeel wrote:

> Hi Non--

>

> I know exactly what you mean, and my husband is also constantly

> frustrated. He is also a KO of a BP-NPD alcoholic fada, and we

> constantly talk about why are people so jealous and competitive and

> insincere. We dislike phoniness and we just like to work hard and

> mind our own business and it is so absolutely trying when people

> make such efforts at undermining others and showing off, without

> realizing that in the grand scheme of the infinite cosmos, all our

> problems, possessions and social stature is soooooo darned

> irrelevant. All we truly take with us is the emotions and

> experiences of a life that was worth living.

>

> I just said to my dh yesterday that there are few people who have

> taken the time to get to know me, but for the one's who haven't,

> then they are also not worth my time. As for people who mistreat

> others, or disrespect people in blue-collar or service professions,

> this is something that I truly deplore. I always say that every job

> in this world is necessary (with the exception of lobbyists perhaps--

> -sorry if anyone here is a lobbyist!) because if everyone were a

> doctor or lawyer, we would have no homes to live in, garbage piling

> up in front of our homes, and we would have to grow our own food. I

> think we need to have respect for all human beings and not judge

> people so quickly when we don't know their full story. I think KOs

> tend to know this better than anyone, sometimes even giving people

> too much of a chance.

>

> Yes, I also agree that the world is getting worse, and it is hard to

> find good people. But with a great group of people right here, I

> think there is still hope for humanity after all!

>

> Big hug--

>

> Sofia

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Dear KOs, As I struggle towards recovery, I am getting hit

> often

> > > > with what Kerrie described as rain showers--and the sense that

> they

> > > > are somehow personal curses inflicted upon me by the

> Universe. That

> > > > I am somehow doing wrong, and I'm off rhythm, that someone is

> > > > punishing me because I'm trying to do something 'bad'.

> > > >

> > > > Just a few days ago, I came to a major breakthrough about the

> sense

> > > > of 'banishment' nada and co. have tried to inflict upon me.

> They

> > > > tried, from when I was six years old, to make me feel 'ugly'

> > > > and 'gros' (actual quotes), and to inflict a reality where I

> did not

> > > > deserve friends, but most especially not boyfriends, children

> or a

> > > > family of my own. I defied them on all counts as best I

> could. I

> > > > have never been socially inept, I have wonderful friends, and

> my

> > > > appearance is in no way freakishly unattractive. (I hope of

> course

> > > > noone on this earth feels that theirs is.)

> > > >

> > > > I just came to really identify this issue, and to start

> to 'resolve'

> > > > the trauma by beginning to release memories with feeling

> attached.

> > > > I have been extremely hopeful and happy about it.

> > > >

> > > > Then, BAM, in comes nada, and not just nada, but a downpour of

> other

> > > > events that I swear seem specifically DESIGNED to ruin my 'I

> am

> > > > okay' frame of mind. I won't go into the specific events

> right

> > > > now. Let's just say they are enough to really make me feel

> rejected

> > > > and banished--other people being married, dates not working

> out, me

> > > > getting older, nada making weird molestation implications in

> emails

> > > > that only a select few of you like Sophie and Carol can

> > > > understand ... It's like as soon as I made the tiniest bit of

> > > > progress, the universe Rushed in to defeat it. It makes me

> feel

> > > > like I'm not supposed to be making progress, that I am bad for

> > > > trying to do so, that, regardless of nada, I truly AM

> cursed... like

> > > > maybe there's a such thing as past lives, and I am paying for

> > > > something ... or maybe nada has inflicted so much suffering in

> my

> > > > life that I will never catch up, the balance will NEVER tilt

> in my

> > > > favor and I am doomed to a lifetime of terrible pain and

> suffering.

> > > >

> > > > There is also a logic in me that says--wait. This suffering

> you are

> > > > feeling is because of nada and the foo being so destructive.

> That's

> > > > what's off balance. You keep falling down, because THEY keep

> > > > pressing so much weight upon you--not because you are cursed.

> But

> > > > that doesn't explain the random outside events, that have

> nothing to

> > > > do with nada, that keep cropping up and wreaking havoc on my

> tiny

> > > > fragile newfound freedom and happiness.

> > > >

> > > > I'm not sure I am organizing this quite well. Not sure if I

> have

> > > > come to express it properly yet. Let me give another example,

> one

> > > > perhaps not so emotional and sensitive for me: hmm. Okay,

> say

> > > > someone wants with all their might to believe they are a good

> > > > driver. Nada has forever been telling them they are NOT, but

> they

> > > > have an inkling in their heart that they are. Say they

> finally come

> > > > to realize this is nada's doing, and feel free, and happy

> about

> > > > driving, normal about it, for the first time in their life.

> Friends

> > > > and therapists and the list-serve support their idea they are

> a good

> > > > driver, but noone related to them, no blood figure does, and

> it

> > > > makes it very hard to fight the impression. Still, they fight

> for

> > > > it, and feel they have a major breakthrough, and, for once,

> feel a

> > > > great and happy attitude about driving. As they take off,

> however,

> > > > nada calls and desperately argues that they are a terrible,

> > > > terrible, driver. (Say this person is not n/c and did not

> lead nada

> > > > into it in any way--nada just came up with it out of the

> blue).

> > > > It's like she KNEW the person was doing better, and had to try

> to

> > > > derail it. THEN, through of COURSE, the minute the person

> gets on

> > > > the road, they get in a wreck. Say it's a no-fault wreck.

> But it's

> > > > still a wreck. Can you see how it is extremely difficult

> under

> > > > those circumstances to not believe one is cursed, somehow?

> This is

> > > > what is happening to me w/my banishment issues. It's almost

> like

> > > > something OUTSIDE of nada wants this to happen to me. It is

> very

> > > > hard to fight.

> > > >

> > > > Any thoughts would be appreciated. This is a very difficult

> time

> > > > for me. Sorry for the long post!

> > > >

> > > > Charlie H.

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> > __________________________________________________

> >