1st post to group a few questions embedded in looooong monologue -- sorry!

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone,

I have been lurking for a month or two, and would like to introduce

myself. I am in Florida, am 38, and have had my saline implants

exactly one year. I have not liked them at all, except for a few

wavering euphoric weeks. It made me top heavy, my kids can't rest

their heads on my chest like they used to when I read to them, they

are hard as rocks, not soft and supple, sore all the time, etc... I

have also gradually started feeling poorly this past year. Yesterday I

had my explant consultation with my surgeon ( the same fellow who put

them in). He was very nice, said he does 250 implant surgeries and

every year he has about 1 woman who gets them out. Scary statistic.

One doc, that many per year!!! Anyway, he gave me no resistance, is

happy to take them out, and said my breasts " will go back exactly as

they were before, " and I should need no lift. I had very little breast

tissue to start with, with some emptiness due to breastfeeding three

kids. He does not remove en bloc, but he will most likely remove the

capsule.

I had hoped that he would say that he would give me a drastically

reduced fee, but all he did was take ten percent off for being a prior

patient. My left breast is tight and pointed a little differently

than the right, but I am not sure that is his " fault. " Based on what

he has noted about the left breast in previous appts. I believe if I

had gone in to say " please fix the left one " he would have done that

for free.

Anyway, here's the thing: I did not tell him I am not feeling well

from these things. I have had some bloodwork and stuff done on my

own, and nothing shows up. Some sed rate stuff, thyroid bloodwork. I

am a Spinning instructor who now no longer teaches due to a exercise

induced cardiac arrythmia that my cardiologist can't figure out, even

though I have had several tests done. He thinks it is anxiety. The

arrythmia started six weeks after my implant surgery -- and I have

been an athlete my whole life with no prior problems. Plus my neck

and shouders hurt all the time, I no longer play soccer or run, (or

even go to the gym!!!)due to joint and muscle pain. Once in a blue

moon, when I ate badly for a stretch or didn't drink enough water, I

would get a fibromyalgia-like attack that was mild, lasted a few days,

and made me wonder if I had fibromyalgia, or if fibromyalgia was

diet-induced in others, etc. Now I feel like I have it all the time.

Every day. Fatigue, really cruddy pain.

Does anyone have any advice for me as far as what I sould do at this

point? Should I have told my doc I am not feeling well? My heart is

right as rain, as long as I don't have pre-teaching stage fright then

teach a class ... something about adrenal function with high heart

rate caused the arrythmia when I taught classes. My husband is

disappointed in me on one level -- he suspects my desire for

explantation is due to my fickle personality. I do have one! I know

he wonders if I am making this up to get the implants out because I no

longer want them. The truth is, once I got them, I didn't want them,

I just figured out that I had to suck it up because it was a decision

that I had made and a lot of money that we had spent. My doc can

remove them as early as July 14th. Can I not go with en bloc if they

have been in for a short time? I have to get these out soon! I have

dreams at night about carrying a two by four with nails in in across

my chest and puncturing the implants on purpose! ( We are renovating a

house right now, so it's not a sick dream -- I often carry nail-laden

two by fours around).

One last thing -- I spent so much time faking my breasts before I got

my implants -- stuffing, and wearing padded bras. I hid and disguised

everything. I now can't imagine why I ever did that. I have been

studying chests like mad this whole year, not just large chests, and

I think a flat chest is beautiful -- and women who " wear them proudly "

are very sexy and feminine. Where has my head been to think I needed

surgery to " fix " my flat chest? I am six feet tall and 138 pounds

(without implants)-- how do big breasts fit into that type of body

shape?! They don't. They look like crap. They feel like crap, and are

making my body function like crap. I could have donated the five

grand that I spent and bought herds of animals for third world

families to make a living off of and other people would have been

better off because of my. Now that money was wasted on vanity. What

a bummer. Anyway, am I thinking of everything? Is there a FL surgeon

who does en bloc who is affordable, or should I stick with my original

guy, who has superb surgical technique. I know because he trained

under the plastics guy who did my son's very serious head and facial

surgeries.

Sorry so much. I am a writer. Writers make bad editors.

Dawn