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Men, Coffee, Jacquie

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Okay Grace....

Info for you....I am the better cook in the household....Terry has come a

long way since becoming a SAHM but she will tell you...I can do ANY domestic

chore as good or better than a woman....I can read directions, ask

directions, I'm a bit chauvnist at times...whine when I'm sick, but have an

exceptionally high pain tolerance.

I can build you a house in the day and fix you a lasagna...from scratch..no

canned sauce for this guy at night.

I believe in feminism, but if you're gonna chant, ya better be able to hang

with the big dogs....

I have a gentle touch, but will mix it up in a heart beat. I cry, I yell, I

get quiet and I'm pretty freakin' funny sometimes....

And I paint Abbie's toenails.....

I am a walking contradiction with tesitcles.....

Ron

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In a message dated 10/3/2001 8:40:44 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

gracekeh@... writes:

>

> Grace - who maintains that Terry has a great husband - but he's STILL a

>

Well...that's the best I can do, actually, being of the heterosexual

persuasion. <G>

******Terry******

Wife to: Ron

Mom to: Alec 10, NVLD - Sam 4, Autism - Abbie 3, PDD-NOS

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hehehehehehehehehe

> Wrong sex, Jacquie - - read below:

>

> > You're complicating the issue! Sheesh!

> >

> > I'll walk you through it step by step...

> >

> > 1. You're ready to go to bed. Go into the kitchen.

>

> **MAN: Why would I go into the kitchen when I'm ready for bed? I'm going

> to bed... gotta get me " some " .

>

> > 2. Fill your coffeepot with water. Dump it into the machine.

> > 3. Insert filter. Add appropriate amount of coffee grounds.

>

> **MAN: This means somebody else should have emptied the filter before Man

> reached kitchen. Nobody did, and man does not throw away used filter.

> Therefore, man cannot insert filter. Step #3 cannot be completed.

>

> > 4. Put filter and pot into position.

>

> **MAN: Put something back in its place? I cannot process this

information.

>

> > 5. Stick a post-it on the coffeemaker which reads, " Turn Me ON " (or

> something less smart-ass, if you prefer)

>

> **MAN: A " real " man doesn't " do " notes.

>

> > 6. Go to bed. Dream. Snore. Whack alarm clock 17 times.

>

> **MAN: Finally.... a woman who thinks like me.

>

> > 7. Get out of bed. Stumble downstairs.

> > 8. Turn coffeemaker on.

>

> **MAN: Too much work. This is why I got married.

>

> > 9. Go pee, put your contacts in, splash face with water, whatever.

> > 10. Return to kitchen. At least ONE cup of hot FRESH coffee is ready

to

> pour.

>

> **MAN: I'd be too tired to go to work then. I'll stick to my cold

tar-like

> coffee every morning. I don't taste the difference.

>

> >

> > It's not difficult!

>

> Yeah, neither is putting the seat back down - but you don't see most of

them

> doing this either.

>

> Grace

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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ROTLMAO! Cute! If I didn't already know better I would have asked if you

were gay! Wow toenails......lucky Abbie, now to really make you a god of

Men paint Terrys a\while feed her grapes and you got it made!

did that for me when I was 8.5 mths prego and couldn't reach.....BIG

BROWNIE points add in a foot massage! a

Love the last part.... I am still laughing!

>Okay Grace....

>

>Info for you....I am the better cook in the household....Terry has come a

>long way since becoming a SAHM but she will tell you...I can do ANY domestic

>chore as good or better than a woman....I can read directions, ask

>directions, I'm a bit chauvnist at times...whine when I'm sick, but have an

>exceptionally high pain tolerance.

>I can build you a house in the day and fix you a lasagna...from scratch..no

>canned sauce for this guy at night.

>I believe in feminism, but if you're gonna chant, ya better be able to hang

>with the big dogs....

>I have a gentle touch, but will mix it up in a heart beat. I cry, I yell, I

>get quiet and I'm pretty freakin' funny sometimes....

>And I paint Abbie's toenails.....

>

>I am a walking contradiction with tesitcles.....

>

>Ron

Wife to

Mom to Ben (aka Godzilla)

On call milk machine to Abby(aka stinkerbell)

" Some days you are the Bug, some days you are the Windshield "

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You really need to move to SF! You'd fit right in here!

At 02:54 PM 10/8/2001, you wrote:

>In a message dated 10/8/2001 12:29:08 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

>nasusxo@... writes:

>

>

> > ROTLMAO! Cute! If I didn't already know better I would have asked if you

> >

>

>I am gay...a true lesbian

>

>Ron

>

>

>

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  • 4 weeks later...

Wrong sex, Jacquie - - read below:

> You're complicating the issue! Sheesh!

>

> I'll walk you through it step by step...

>

> 1. You're ready to go to bed. Go into the kitchen.

**MAN: Why would I go into the kitchen when I'm ready for bed? I'm going

to bed... gotta get me " some " .

> 2. Fill your coffeepot with water. Dump it into the machine.

> 3. Insert filter. Add appropriate amount of coffee grounds.

**MAN: This means somebody else should have emptied the filter before Man

reached kitchen. Nobody did, and man does not throw away used filter.

Therefore, man cannot insert filter. Step #3 cannot be completed.

> 4. Put filter and pot into position.

**MAN: Put something back in its place? I cannot process this information.

> 5. Stick a post-it on the coffeemaker which reads, " Turn Me ON " (or

something less smart-ass, if you prefer)

**MAN: A " real " man doesn't " do " notes.

> 6. Go to bed. Dream. Snore. Whack alarm clock 17 times.

**MAN: Finally.... a woman who thinks like me.

> 7. Get out of bed. Stumble downstairs.

> 8. Turn coffeemaker on.

**MAN: Too much work. This is why I got married.

> 9. Go pee, put your contacts in, splash face with water, whatever.

> 10. Return to kitchen. At least ONE cup of hot FRESH coffee is ready to

pour.

**MAN: I'd be too tired to go to work then. I'll stick to my cold tar-like

coffee every morning. I don't taste the difference.

>

> It's not difficult!

Yeah, neither is putting the seat back down - but you don't see most of them

doing this either.

Grace

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> > Grace - who maintains that Terry has a great husband - but he's STILL a

> >

>

>

> Well...that's the best I can do, actually, being of the heterosexual

> persuasion. <G>

I hear you, Terry.

Me too.

Grace

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