Doing 'the work' on my dad not talking to me

[Guest guest]

Growing up my dad pretty literally did not speak to me. He'd pick me

up from school, and not say a word to me. He'd pass me walking in

the house, and we would ignore each other. On holidays, he'd say

maybe 100 words the whole day. Sitting at the dinner table, he'd now

and then grunt a reply to my ever chatting mother.

So I did a worksheet on him last night..

I am mad at dad for not talking to me when I was growing up, nor

talking much to me now.

Dad did not talk to me. Is that true?

Well, actually his life, the way he lived it, was a communication to

me.

The way he lives it now, sitting in his recliner either reading the

newspaper, or watching tv or doing crosswords most of the day.

He IS speaking to me in a way. Telling me he wants to shut the

world out.

Yeah, that's all a story. But finally, after decades, I'm seeing it

was never about me, about me being unloved by my dad. It's about him

choosing not to interact with other people much.

Maybe there was nothing I could have done differently to make my dad

talk to me more. I guess there really wasn't, or I would have done

it. I would have done it.

And I'm way more okay with that.

I feel compassion and love for my father.

And as I offer healing, I am healed.