Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/11/2001 12:42:03 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nospam@... writes:

> ....that being on this list has given most of us the strength to keep

> going, which in turn has given us more energy to help our kids, more

> knowledge to help our kids, and that that has led to our kids getting

> better, whether it's huge leaps or small bounds???

>

> I've noticed it.

>

> Thank you Jacquie!!! This is the ONLY place where I have found TRUE

> support. I'm not sure how else to thank you other than to say Thank

> You. We thank you, and our kids Thank You.

>

>

> Truly,

> Penny :-)

>

>

>

I've noticed too...

ditto here

Ron

[Guest guest]

> ....that being on this list has given most of us the strength to keep going,

which in turn has given us more energy to help our kids, more knowledge to help

our kids, and that that has led to our kids getting better, whether it's huge

leaps or small bounds???

I've noticed it.

Thank you Jacquie!!! This is the ONLY place where I have found TRUE support.

I'm not sure how else to thank you other than to say Thank You. We thank you,

and our kids Thank You.

Truly,

Penny :-) <

i second that emotion!

" Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit

different? " - Linus

" I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to

understand me. " - Snoopy

[Guest guest]

Just picking up my messages before dropping off videos, waiting for to put

his socks on, and these messages were here...

And now, even though my son is downstairs screaming, " I'M

REEEEEAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY! " I must reply.

I have this neat feeling in the pit of my stomach. Kind of queasy, but in a

GOOD way. You know the one? The feeling when you give your first boyfriend or

girlfriend a gift and they really like it?

Again, I have to tell the story of the list's beginning. Two months after

diagnosis, and I belonged to several autism lists, one being the SJU list which

has definitely proven itself recently to be exactly what I felt it was. I kept

looking and looking for support, but could only find information, research,

studies on things I'd never even heard of, and stories of SuperParents which

made me feel so completely isolated...

I had just moved to this tiny village, and was living in my IL's basement. They

were not accepting of the diagnosis; they were still in the, " Oh, he'll grow out

of it " stage. I had no one to talk to, since the only moms I met were the moms

of NTs at all the playgroups I tried to join, and dh was still totally in

denial.

So I figured, " If I feel this way, then there HAS TO BE someone else out there

who needs support too. If I can find just one other person to whom I can say,

" I hate this and I feel lost, " and who will understand, then I need to find that

person. "

And the group was born.

Every day, I feel thankful that the members of this amazing list found their way

here. Found me, and found each other, and maybe in the process found a little

more of themselves as well.

My view is not popular out there in the net at large, the view that you need to

be yourself FIRST, a mom SECOND, and a mom (or dad) of an *autistic* child, an

advocate, THIRD.

To have found such people, who also feel this way and are committed to helping

others live this way, is so gratifying I cannot tell you.

Every once in a while, someone will write a post like Penny's, saying what a

blessing the list is and thanking me. But I feel that I hardly thank all of you

enough. This list has given me so much: the knowledge that negative feelings do

not a bad parent make; the courage to voice my innermost fears without feeling

vulnerable or stupid; a warm place to share successes, regardless of how small,

and be reminded how much I have to feel thankful for; an extended family. Being

the moderator has given me many gifts as well - the pride of seeing something

I've created flourish; knowing that what started as a desperate idea has become

a way for me to help others, if only by providing a safe place for them to be

themselves, and the constant reassurance that I have DONE SOMETHING with my life

apart from autism and anything else -- I have been a success.

This SJU idiots vs Thea debacle has made me see that I have been true to my

mandate. Everyone is safe here, and treated with respect. It's been that way

for two years, and will continue that way as long as I can type.

Thank you all, my list members, for being here. For joining, for staying, for

opening your hearts to each other and to yourselves.

Without you, this list would be, most literally, nothing.

Thank you for helping me make my life, and each other's, a much better place to

be.

Jacquie

mom to , 5

Parenting Autism moderator

" Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until

it is faced. "

-- Baldwin

[Guest guest]

The last replies to your post ........

don't want you to feel bad or stupid!

kandie

<< Me too!

Kerri

Mom to:

Mitchel 6, Autistic

8.5 - NT

See the Family: http://www.johnswdwpage.com/family.htm

" I thank God and America for the right to live and raise my family

under the flag of tolerance, democracy and freedom. "

-Walt Disney

Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

> ....that being on this list has given most of us the strength to keep

going, which in turn has given us more energy to help our kids, more

knowledge to help our kids, and that that has led to our kids getting better,

whether it's huge leaps or small bounds???

I've noticed it.

Thank you Jacquie!!! This is the ONLY place where I have found TRUE

support. I'm not sure how else to thank you other than to say Thank You. We

thank you, and our kids Thank You.

Truly,

Penny :-) < >>

Kandie and (9 years)

* 's website: <A

HREF= " http://kidsactivities.homestead.com/spage.html " >spage</A>

*

[Guest guest]

What's one to say after such a heart wrenching post....

To try and comment after that would be like trying to follow up to the

Kennedy inaugeration speech....

nuff said...

P.S. That WAS sucking up

Ron

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/11/01 5:58:54 PM Pacific Standard Time,

vhunnius@... writes:

<<

> The last replies to your post ........

No it doesn't! It replies to Penny's!!!

Am I the only one that got my post??????

>>

No, but the replies was to your original post, right? I got your post too.

I think it was great. I see no reason on Earth why you would feel badly about

saying anything you wrote in your post.

((((((((((((((((((Jacquie)))))))))))))))

What a great bunch of people here. Wow!

kandie

Kandie and (9 years)

* 's website: <A

HREF= " http://kidsactivities.homestead.com/spage.html " >spage</A>

*

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/11/2001 9:38:32 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nitetrax@... writes:

>

> But you did it so well.

> BTW Ron, that was very cool what you did on the sju list!

>

>

Well, they messed with one of us right? My first and last post there, all in

one shot.

It's my mindset, that in everyone's life there are times you just have to say

f & ^k em'

Good to see ya back Sissi

Ron

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/11/2001 10:00:08 PM Eastern Standard Time,

phillipmom@... writes:

> -

> Ron,

> I just saw that post. Thanks.

> Thea

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

You bet Thea

Ron

[Guest guest]

Me too!

Kerri

Mom to:

Mitchel 6, Autistic

8.5 - NT

See the Family: http://www.johnswdwpage.com/family.htm

" I thank God and America for the right to live and raise my family

under the flag of tolerance, democracy and freedom. "

-Walt Disney

Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

> ....that being on this list has given most of us the strength to keep going,

which in turn has given us more energy to help our kids, more knowledge to help

our kids, and that that has led to our kids getting better, whether it's huge

leaps or small bounds???

I've noticed it.

Thank you Jacquie!!! This is the ONLY place where I have found TRUE support.

I'm not sure how else to thank you other than to say Thank You. We thank you,

and our kids Thank You.

Truly,

Penny :-) <

i second that emotion!

" Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit

different? " - Linus

" I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to

understand me. " - Snoopy

[Guest guest]

Somebody better reply to my reply to this thread, or I am going to feel very

very stupid and sorry for myself!

[Guest guest]

" replying "

don't feel stupid......

btw, what did the original say???

Kerri

Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

Somebody better reply to my reply to this thread, or I am going to feel very

very stupid and sorry for myself!

[Guest guest]

> The last replies to your post ........

No it doesn't! It replies to Penny's!!!

Am I the only one that got my post??????

[Guest guest]

Here it is again, you ingrates!!!!

Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

>

> Just picking up my messages before dropping off videos, waiting for to

put his socks on, and these messages were here...

>

> And now, even though my son is downstairs screaming, " I'M

REEEEEAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY! " I must reply.

>

> I have this neat feeling in the pit of my stomach. Kind of queasy, but in a

GOOD way. You know the one? The feeling when you give your first boyfriend or

girlfriend a gift and they really like it?

>

> Again, I have to tell the story of the list's beginning. Two months after

diagnosis, and I belonged to several autism lists, one being the SJU list which

has definitely proven itself recently to be exactly what I felt it was. I kept

looking and looking for support, but could only find information, research,

studies on things I'd never even heard of, and stories of SuperParents which

made me feel so completely isolated...

>

> I had just moved to this tiny village, and was living in my IL's basement.

They were not accepting of the diagnosis; they were still in the, " Oh, he'll

grow out of it " stage. I had no one to talk to, since the only moms I met were

the moms of NTs at all the playgroups I tried to join, and dh was still totally

in denial.

>

> So I figured, " If I feel this way, then there HAS TO BE someone else out there

who needs support too. If I can find just one other person to whom I can say,

" I hate this and I feel lost, " and who will understand, then I need to find that

person. "

>

> And the group was born.

>

> Every day, I feel thankful that the members of this amazing list found their

way here. Found me, and found each other, and maybe in the process found a

little more of themselves as well.

>

> My view is not popular out there in the net at large, the view that you need

to be yourself FIRST, a mom SECOND, and a mom (or dad) of an *autistic* child,

an advocate, THIRD.

>

> To have found such people, who also feel this way and are committed to helping

others live this way, is so gratifying I cannot tell you.

>

> Every once in a while, someone will write a post like Penny's, saying what a

blessing the list is and thanking me. But I feel that I hardly thank all of you

enough. This list has given me so much: the knowledge that negative feelings do

not a bad parent make; the courage to voice my innermost fears without feeling

vulnerable or stupid; a warm place to share successes, regardless of how small,

and be reminded how much I have to feel thankful for; an extended family. Being

the moderator has given me many gifts as well - the pride of seeing something

I've created flourish; knowing that what started as a desperate idea has become

a way for me to help others, if only by providing a safe place for them to be

themselves, and the constant reassurance that I have DONE SOMETHING with my life

apart from autism and anything else -- I have been a success.

>

> This SJU idiots vs Thea debacle has made me see that I have been true to my

mandate. Everyone is safe here, and treated with respect. It's been that way

for two years, and will continue that way as long as I can type.

>

> Thank you all, my list members, for being here. For joining, for staying, for

opening your hearts to each other and to yourselves.

>

> Without you, this list would be, most literally, nothing.

>

> Thank you for helping me make my life, and each other's, a much better place

to be.

>

> Jacquie

> mom to , 5

> Parenting Autism moderator

> " Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until

it is faced. "

> -- Baldwin

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The one where you sat down and poured your heart out about how you love us and

this list?

Yes I got it...

I loved it.... But you said everything so wonderfully I had nothing to add!

*sniffle*

We love you too!

Kerri

Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

> The last replies to your post ........

No it doesn't! It replies to Penny's!!!

Am I the only one that got my post??????

[Guest guest]

Yes I loved this one....I just didn't know what to say that would match up!

Kerri

Re: I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

>

> Just picking up my messages before dropping off videos, waiting for to

put his socks on, and these messages were here...

>

> And now, even though my son is downstairs screaming, " I'M

REEEEEAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY! " I must reply.

>

> I have this neat feeling in the pit of my stomach. Kind of queasy, but in a

GOOD way. You know the one? The feeling when you give your first boyfriend or

girlfriend a gift and they really like it?

>

> Again, I have to tell the story of the list's beginning. Two months after

diagnosis, and I belonged to several autism lists, one being the SJU list which

has definitely proven itself recently to be exactly what I felt it was. I kept

looking and looking for support, but could only find information, research,

studies on things I'd never even heard of, and stories of SuperParents which

made me feel so completely isolated...

>

> I had just moved to this tiny village, and was living in my IL's basement.

They were not accepting of the diagnosis; they were still in the, " Oh, he'll

grow out of it " stage. I had no one to talk to, since the only moms I met were

the moms of NTs at all the playgroups I tried to join, and dh was still totally

in denial.

>

> So I figured, " If I feel this way, then there HAS TO BE someone else out

there who needs support too. If I can find just one other person to whom I can

say, " I hate this and I feel lost, " and who will understand, then I need to find

that person. "

>

> And the group was born.

>

> Every day, I feel thankful that the members of this amazing list found their

way here. Found me, and found each other, and maybe in the process found a

little more of themselves as well.

>

> My view is not popular out there in the net at large, the view that you need

to be yourself FIRST, a mom SECOND, and a mom (or dad) of an *autistic* child,

an advocate, THIRD.

>

> To have found such people, who also feel this way and are committed to

helping others live this way, is so gratifying I cannot tell you.

>

> Every once in a while, someone will write a post like Penny's, saying what a

blessing the list is and thanking me. But I feel that I hardly thank all of you

enough. This list has given me so much: the knowledge that negative feelings do

not a bad parent make; the courage to voice my innermost fears without feeling

vulnerable or stupid; a warm place to share successes, regardless of how small,

and be reminded how much I have to feel thankful for; an extended family. Being

the moderator has given me many gifts as well - the pride of seeing something

I've created flourish; knowing that what started as a desperate idea has become

a way for me to help others, if only by providing a safe place for them to be

themselves, and the constant reassurance that I have DONE SOMETHING with my life

apart from autism and anything else -- I have been a success.

>

> This SJU idiots vs Thea debacle has made me see that I have been true to my

mandate. Everyone is safe here, and treated with respect. It's been that way

for two years, and will continue that way as long as I can type.

>

> Thank you all, my list members, for being here. For joining, for staying,

for opening your hearts to each other and to yourselves.

>

> Without you, this list would be, most literally, nothing.

>

> Thank you for helping me make my life, and each other's, a much better place

to be.

>

> Jacquie

> mom to , 5

> Parenting Autism moderator

> " Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed

until it is faced. "

> -- Baldwin

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Somebody better reply to my reply to this thread, or I am going to feel very

very stupid and sorry for myself! <

awww jacquie, don't feel bad. i think what you wrote was wonderful and i should

have said so.

> Thank you for helping me make my life, and each other's, a much better place

to be. <

you're welcome and thank you too.

love always, gina

" Isn't it wonderful how each of us on this earth was created just a little bit

different? " - Linus

" I gave up trying to understand people long ago. Now I just let them try to

understand me. " - Snoopy

[Guest guest]

-

Ron,

I just saw that post. Thanks.

Thea

-- In parenting_autism@y..., Bosocks1@a... wrote:

> In a message dated 11/11/2001 9:38:32 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> nitetrax@i... writes:

>

>

> >

> > But you did it so well.

> > BTW Ron, that was very cool what you did on the sju list!

> >

> >

>

> Well, they messed with one of us right? My first and last post

there, all in

> one shot.

> It's my mindset, that in everyone's life there are times you just

have to say

> f & ^k em'

>

> Good to see ya back Sissi

>

> Ron

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

--

Jacquie,

In response to your reply this what Id like to say.

Things ive learned from this list.

Its okay not to be a perfect or a super parent, there's no such

thing.

That youre forgiven if you break your kids toys or a whole set

of dishes because the little rugrats are driving you up the wall.

Its okay if your child walks into every restaurant on the block and

loudly orders food for the whole place to hear, because at least he

can say what he wants (except when your out of money and have to

cancel the order).This used to embarrass the heck out of me, but, Ive

learned to laugh.

That it is the little steps or not so little steps that count. We

dont have to have a " let me hear your voice " success to be a sucess.

There is always a feeling or thought someone else has had so it

makes it more reassuring.

That we can discuss things like diets, meds, etc, and not get too

hung up in the technical aspects of such. That we can talk about what

works for our child and not get hung up what others should do with

their kids.

And the most important is we can motivate each other to keep going on

even when the going gets very tough. And it has. That was a mistake I

made when I dropped the list when things were a little haywire in

Sept and cut myself off, and that people reached out. I didnt get

that from any other list I dropped at that time.

So, again Jacquie.

Thank You

Thea

- In parenting_autism@y..., " The Hunny Family " <vhunnius@l...> wrote:

> Here it is again, you ingrates!!!!

>

> Re: I just have to say, has anyone

noticed.....

>

>

> >

> > Just picking up my messages before dropping off videos, waiting

for to put his socks on, and these messages were here...

> >

> > And now, even though my son is downstairs screaming, " I'M

REEEEEAAAAAADDDDDDYYYYYYY! " I must reply.

> >

> > I have this neat feeling in the pit of my stomach. Kind of

queasy, but in a GOOD way. You know the one? The feeling when you

give your first boyfriend or girlfriend a gift and they really like

it?

> >

> > Again, I have to tell the story of the list's beginning. Two

months after diagnosis, and I belonged to several autism lists, one

being the SJU list which has definitely proven itself recently to be

exactly what I felt it was. I kept looking and looking for support,

but could only find information, research, studies on things I'd

never even heard of, and stories of SuperParents which made me feel

so completely isolated...

> >

> > I had just moved to this tiny village, and was living in my IL's

basement. They were not accepting of the diagnosis; they were still

in the, " Oh, he'll grow out of it " stage. I had no one to talk to,

since the only moms I met were the moms of NTs at all the playgroups

I tried to join, and dh was still totally in denial.

> >

> > So I figured, " If I feel this way, then there HAS TO BE someone

else out there who needs support too. If I can find just one other

person to whom I can say, " I hate this and I feel lost, " and who will

understand, then I need to find that person. "

> >

> > And the group was born.

> >

> > Every day, I feel thankful that the members of this amazing list

found their way here. Found me, and found each other, and maybe in

the process found a little more of themselves as well.

> >

> > My view is not popular out there in the net at large, the view

that you need to be yourself FIRST, a mom SECOND, and a mom (or dad)

of an *autistic* child, an advocate, THIRD.

> >

> > To have found such people, who also feel this way and are

committed to helping others live this way, is so gratifying I cannot

tell you.

> >

> > Every once in a while, someone will write a post like Penny's,

saying what a blessing the list is and thanking me. But I feel that

I hardly thank all of you enough. This list has given me so much:

the knowledge that negative feelings do not a bad parent make; the

courage to voice my innermost fears without feeling vulnerable or

stupid; a warm place to share successes, regardless of how small, and

be reminded how much I have to feel thankful for; an extended

family. Being the moderator has given me many gifts as well - the

pride of seeing something I've created flourish; knowing that what

started as a desperate idea has become a way for me to help others,

if only by providing a safe place for them to be themselves, and the

constant reassurance that I have DONE SOMETHING with my life apart

from autism and anything else -- I have been a success.

> >

> > This SJU idiots vs Thea debacle has made me see that I have been

true to my mandate. Everyone is safe here, and treated with

respect. It's been that way for two years, and will continue that

way as long as I can type.

> >

> > Thank you all, my list members, for being here. For joining, for

staying, for opening your hearts to each other and to yourselves.

> >

> > Without you, this list would be, most literally, nothing.

> >

> > Thank you for helping me make my life, and each other's, a much

better place to be.

> >

> > Jacquie

> > mom to , 5

> > Parenting Autism moderator

> > " Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be

changed until it is faced. "

> > -- Baldwin

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

You GUYS!!!

Okay, so I solicited those hugs big time, but boy did I ever need them!

Those replies were just absolutely heartwarming. Thea, your list of things

you've learned is a keeper which I will save for a long time.

Thank you!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

> What's one to say after such a heart wrenching post....

> To try and comment after that would be like trying to follow up to the

> Kennedy inaugeration speech....

>

> nuff said...

>

> P.S. That WAS sucking up

>

> Ron

Even that admission that you're kissing my butt doesn't take away from such a

fabulous compliment!

Thanks!

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

I know that I am included in " most of us " .

This list has definitely been a huge help to me.

I don't think it's that I would have died by now without the list, but

moreso that I would be a royal MESS. I came to this list with a lot of

doubts about myself, and guilt. I don't play with my kids enough....

sometimes, I really don't LIKE my children...... I screamed at so and so

today........... I let them watch 4 videos in a row today........... and so

forth. Lots of guilt.. and a lot of " no wonder I made my children autistic "

thinking.

The most important thing that this list has done for me is make me feel like

it's all okay. I've heard things like, " Well that was pretty awful of you,

but it's okay- you'll do better tomorrow " or " Yea, I've done that too. I

did something worse than you, but i never did it again. "

I don't feel new emotions for being here. But all of my emotions are

validated and made to feel significant from being here, and I can't put in

words how important that has been for me. My family is great - and they

try to validate the way I feel. But you know what ~ they can't understand

just how frustrated I am because they get to go home at the end of their

visit, because they don't have to live with my children. You guys ALL deal

with this in your own homes, daily. Like me. And if you guys tell me it's

okay... if you guys say you have thought this or done that before like

me.... then at least I am not alone.

Better yet - - I think I have grown enough in my time here that I am able

to just be satisfied with one little achievement. When I first came to this

list, I'm ashamed to say I was not. It's not that my children never made

improvements - - but more that every step forward was met with " ok, so she

can use the pincer grasp, but what about the SPOON? " or... " I see she can

repeat my BOO sound ,but what about TALKING? " Every goal achievement was to

be celebrated, but I never stopped to notice all the steps in getting there.

Now? Well sheesh, I rejoice in nearly everything. I celebrate for good

things, and when there is nothing specific to celebrate, I celebrate the

fact that I am now able to celebrate instead of running ahead of my girls,

and myself.

So, me too. I say thank you too. I am still far from perfect, but I am

definitely a better mom today than I was before. If nothing else, at least

now I think I am, LOL!!

Grace

I just have to say, has anyone noticed.....

> ....that being on this list has given most of us the strength to keep

> going, which in turn has given us more energy to help our kids, more

> knowledge to help our kids, and that that has led to our kids getting

> better, whether it's huge leaps or small bounds???

>

> I've noticed it.

>

> Thank you Jacquie!!! This is the ONLY place where I have found TRUE

> support. I'm not sure how else to thank you other than to say Thank

> You. We thank you, and our kids Thank You.

>

>

> Truly,

> Penny :-)

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

> Thank you all, my list members, for being here. For joining, for staying,

for opening your hearts to each other and to yourselves.

> Without you, this list would be, most literally, nothing.

> Thank you for helping me make my life, and each other's, a much better

place to be.

While this is true, Jacquie... that the list would be nothing without its

members..... it is also true that a " company " is only as good as its boss,

as he/she determines how devoted the employees are.

Assuming P_A is like a corporation - - you make the members want to be here.

This is not the first list I have been on. It's the first autism list I've

ENJOYED.

I was once on another list, similar volume, similar support, different

topic. But you know what - - the moderator was totally out of control, and

eventually, after 3.5 years of having been around, it fell apart. Some

topics don't need moderation. Topics like this, do. And you do a great job

of moderating by " being one of us " . You complain with the best of us, you

exclaim with the rest of us. You cry more than most of us LOL, and you

pretty much guide us to be as honest as you are.

I would not have been able to post diddly squat about myself without having

read some of YOUR posts in which you were obviously as honest as they come.

So thank YOU, Jacquie.

Grace

[Guest guest]

> Somebody better reply to my reply to this thread, or I am going to feel

very very stupid and sorry for myself!

>

ROTFL!!!!

How cute ARE you?

Well, FWIW - I did reply, even before I saw this.

Grace

[Guest guest]

i agree with everyone else, but one question, what is the SJU list?

, 40, Columbus, OH

Bipolar, Borderline Personality Disorder, and????

Mom to:

, 15, probably Bipolar

Annie, 12, so far so good!

JD, 8, Autism, severe ADHD, maybe bipolar, AND

my reason for getting out of bed each day!!!

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/12/2001 10:57:27 AM Eastern Standard Time,

MsMurfield@... writes:

> i agree with everyone else, but one question, what is the SJU list?

>

> , 40, Columbus, OH

>

The list from hell

Ron