Happy Thanksgiving...from our house to yours

[Guest guest]

Dear friends and family,

Martha will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling you

in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. won't be coming, I've

made a few small changes:

Our sidewalk will not be lined with homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a

trial run, it was decided that no matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming

lunch sacks do not have the desired welcoming effect. Once inside, our

guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated with the swags of

Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make. Instead, I've gotten the

kids involved in the decorating by having them track in colorful autumn

leaves from the front yard. The mud was their idea. The dining table will

not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china, or crystal goblets. If

possible, we will use dishes that match and everyone will get a fork. Since

this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from using the plastic Rabbit

plate and the Santa napkins from last Christmas.

Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and flowers that I

promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like decoration

hand-crafted from the finest construction paper. The artist assures me it is

a turkey. We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain

you while you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice

comment I have made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline.

Please remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon

discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds. As

accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of tribal

drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a recording of

tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously like a frozen

turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the start

of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method. We've

also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke alarm

sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In the

spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate table. In a

separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in

front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at

our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private

ceremony. I stress " private " meaning: Do not, under any circumstances,

enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children

to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed. It

stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat.

I would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that

" passing the rolls " is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean your

sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for the

adults: For the duration of the meal, and specially while in the presence of

you diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser-known name:

Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type

of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.

Before I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice

between 12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the

traditional pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small

fingerprints. You will still have a choice; take it or leave it.

Martha will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably

won't come next year either.

I am thankful.

Sound familiar? It did to me but now my children are grown and it is missed,

so if yours are young ENJOY and BE THANKFUL

All my LOVE

Ecoquest....Healthy Living Technologies

http://www.ecoquestintl.com/pureairandh2o

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