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Re: Pandy - to Helen

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Hi again Helen. Now that I found your post, it seems perfect as it

is without that correction you sent separately. I'll try to write my

comments after yours, as they are coming up.

>

>

> Hi Pandy

> We have expectations of people and when they don't 'live' up to

them we are angry, disappointed etc. We tell ourselves they are not

exhibiting normal behaviour.

> I'm sure if I'd had the conversation you had I would initially have

been pissed off. But it would have been my expectation that I would

be talking to a loving human being, soaked in the Work, with a

beatific smile and only endless time and patience.

Well, no, I can't say that I had that kind of expectation at all.

That's why I kept my questions brief.

What I would have got was a human being, probably doing a full time

job, plus organising a big event (usually unpaid), maybe tired and

hungry, maybe just got off the phone for the umpteenth time and maybe

even had a row with his girlfriend.

Sounds a bit old for a girlfriend... That's human spiteful me

talking ;).

> Question one is where we confront our relationship with reality/ He

should have been ? He wasn't. He should have been exactly as he was

because that's the reality of the situation. The rest is just our

thoughts and beliefs.

I keep reminding myself of that, and it is good to be reminded, too.

>

> You don't need to get hung up on the first two questions - even if

you answer yes in your heart to both, just carry on to the other

questions and see what comes up. When I look at my belief that

People shouldn't eat meat - I can't find a genuine yes to that, but

by doing the rest of the Work I realised that I could allow people

their own beliefs without raging about them in my mind all the time.

>

> And I'm sorry you didn't have a good reaction to your enquiry about

the Work - you could always do a full work sheet on the guy and then

ask him if he would like to see it? And you might be amazed about

what you find out about yourself and the times when you maybe aren't

as helpful as you might be!

I have been in a similar (kind of) position, where I was answering

endless questions. I made sure not to offend or brush them off

with 'I've been doing it for hours already, why don't you read an

encyclopaedia/go to school/church etc.', probably mainly because that

was expected of me and not because I am such a nice person (well,

that too).

>

> With love

> Helen

>

>

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