Re: Want to give many thanks..... and I don't know how much more I can take!!.....

[Guest guest]

Yup. We've all had these days... don't mean to trivialize your experience by

saying that, but we're a feisty bunch, and I haven't heard of any deaths of our

members since I've been on the board - one day soon we will begin prevailing

more than having the experience you and all of us have had so far...

If my brain worked, I'd be able to quote the Rolling Stones song about not

always getting what we want but getting what we need... by hook and crook, all

of us here seem to be eventually pulling rabbits out of hats and keeping each

other collectively sane enough to keep fighting another day...

I've mentioned before that my former neighbor, Patti, and I are always saying we

know we're crazy, but not about THIS... her son died of his mold exposure, and

WE WILL PREVAIL, eventually, in court, but MAN! it's been a helluva time just

getting to court.

Strength for today...

~Haley

gsgrl2000 <gsgrl2000@...> wrote: I've

been offline for awhile... been really sick but I have been

wanting to thank KC and Sharon for speaking with me and giving me

some support. I also wanted to thank for chatting with me and

informing me about Dr. Kilburn. I also want to thank anyone else who

responded to my message for help....

I have been reading and catching up on all the info... nice to hear

from Dan and Carmella and hope all is well with them...

Now onto just how sick I've been. I have had laryngitis, those darn

headaches, a horrific cough, sores in my nose, bleeding and pus

coming from my toe nail, along with all the usual fatigue, aches,

etc. and my eyes (the blurring, watering, blind spot, etc.) for the

past two weeks and not getting any better. Don't know how much more

I can take of this!.... 'who' I feel for you....

And to add insult to injury, I got back the judges decision for my

disability hearing. I was not only flat out denied, the judge, the

state medical doctors and evaluators that the state made me go see

accused me of all sorts of things like lying, making up all my

symptoms, and the classic it's all in my head, your crazy, that I'm

a " drug-seeker " and that I have a history of " personality traits,

schizoid personality features and narcissistic personality

features " .....! Plus many other things...

His notice is fifteen pages long of nothing but false allegations,

lies, slander and bullying towards not only me but my doctors (the

private docs not the insurance docs that I see). They disregaurded

and discredited all of my doctor's medical forms and evaluations. He

had the nerve to say that my docs were not qualified enough....

I am very much aware that they are being paid by the state to

discredit me in whatever way they can so the state won't have to pay

me. But what's even worse is the fact that the state is trying to

drag my case out as long as they can to pass the deadline of Dec.

31, 2007 because if I can't prove my case by then they will be off

the hook for paying me disability from June 2003 to the present. And

I won't ever be able to file to get my benifits for that time frame,

again...

And talk about conflict of interests!!!!.... How can this system be

so unjust and cruel? All I want is to get better and get back to

work and have my daughter be ok. All this fight is for her not me

and for all those who are suffering in alone or in silence!!

I'm not quite sure even as I typing this what my next move will be

or how my daughter and I are going to survive this. I have nowhere

else to go, I have no money to try to see any doc, whether it be

here w/ Dr. Kilburn or Dr. Shoemaker in land to get treatment

and I'm about to be kicked off of the calworks program (the county

AFDC) that I'v been surviving off of waiting for disability.

Ihaven't been able to work sine June 2003. What is a person supposed

to do? How is one expected live and survive?

These are my only options I have: and they are not good ones

**I could sue my 92 yr. old grandmother in a personal injury case

since she is the owner of the apartment with the mold that has made

my daughter and I so sick. With this option, I would at least have

some money to either move, get treatment and/or to live off of.

**I could also con. to saty in this moldy apartment and try to come

up w/ $3,150 to go see Dr. Kilburn and have my daughter and I tested

under his prtocol which could help me with my disability appeal.

**I could sell everything I own to try to come up with enough money

to get to land to see Dr. Shoemaker which at the least I would

have the peace of mind that my daughter and I would be getting some

help with our illness, even if that means never returning to CA. I'm

just not sure if I could come up w/ enough $ to get us there, to

live off of and to get treatment. And I don't know anyone in

land.

I also would like to appeal my case but I need to find a lawyer who

is going to care about my case and not just meet me five minutes

before we meet with the judge just so the judge can see that I have

representation. Had my lawyer done their job, in my opinion, the

judge would not have been able to slander me or my doctors the way

he did.

Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated! I'm about ready

to break but I know that's exactly what that judge and the state

would love to see happen!!! So I can't and won't let it happen!!!

Thanks all,

Dana in Pasadena,CA.

[Guest guest]

Hi Dana, thanks, you too girl and yes, KC and Sharon are the best,

where would we be without them? very few people in the world today

care about helping others. I've been through the disability thing,

dont give up, sometimes it takes years, another screwed up system

that needs reform. when I finally got it they only agreed to give it

to me if I agreed to drop the back pay of 5 years and I was disperate

so I did. I dont think thats the right way for them to do things but

I guess they can do whatever they want. it's insane what they put you

through when you need their help. just don't give up, appeal, refile,

whatever it takes. if you can't work you have no choise but to keep

trying. PS. some of our illness does include our heads, just not the

way they think. if you have cognitive/memory/ptsd type symptoms you

might want to get it checked out. people do get on dosability for

that.

>

> I've been offline for awhile... been really sick but I have been

> wanting to thank KC and Sharon for speaking with me and giving me

> some support. I also wanted to thank for chatting with me and

> informing me about Dr. Kilburn. I also want to thank anyone else

who

> responded to my message for help....

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks to you and Haley. I believe that the state wants me to do the

same thing and drop the back pay that's why they keep trying to

extend my case past the deadline so they won't have to pay it and

they will do anything they can including malicious character

assaination against me and my docs.

Dana

> >

> > I've been offline for awhile... been really sick but I have been

> > wanting to thank KC and Sharon for speaking with me and giving me

> > some support. I also wanted to thank for chatting with me

and

> > informing me about Dr. Kilburn. I also want to thank anyone else

> who

> > responded to my message for help....

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Haley,

Those state doctors and judge want to call me crazy but they're the

ones who are crazy for not waking up to the truth about mold. they

never know, someday it may hit them the way it has us and then they

will be singing another tune.

Without this sight and those on it I think I would have gone insane

by now. It is good to be able to connect to people who understand.

Dana

>

> Yup. We've all had these days... don't mean to trivialize your

experience by saying that, but we're a feisty bunch, and I haven't

heard of any deaths of our members since I've been on the board -

one day soon we will begin prevailing more than having the

experience you and all of us have had so far...

>

> If my brain worked, I'd be able to quote the Rolling Stones song

about not always getting what we want but getting what we need... by

hook and crook, all of us here seem to be eventually pulling rabbits

out of hats and keeping each other collectively sane enough to keep

fighting another day...

>

> I've mentioned before that my former neighbor, Patti, and I are

always saying we know we're crazy, but not about THIS... her son

died of his mold exposure, and WE WILL PREVAIL, eventually, in

court, but MAN! it's been a helluva time just getting to court.

>

> Strength for today...

>

> ~Haley

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL... Thanks for making me smile and breathe....AAhh

Dana

> >

> > Yup. We've all had these days... don't mean to trivialize your

> experience by saying that, but we're a feisty bunch, and I

haven't

> heard of any deaths of our members since I've been on the board -

> one day soon we will begin prevailing more than having the

> experience you and all of us have had so far...

> >

> > If my brain worked, I'd be able to quote the Rolling Stones

song

> about not always getting what we want but getting what we need...

by

> hook and crook, all of us here seem to be eventually pulling

rabbits

> out of hats and keeping each other collectively sane enough to

keep

> fighting another day...

> >

> > I've mentioned before that my former neighbor, Patti, and I are

> always saying we know we're crazy, but not about THIS... her son

> died of his mold exposure, and WE WILL PREVAIL, eventually, in

> court, but MAN! it's been a helluva time just getting to court.

> >

> > Strength for today...

> >

> > ~Haley

> >

>

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

this is all so terrible

gsgrl2000 <gsgrl2000@...> wrote: I've been offline for awhile...

been really sick but I have been

wanting to thank KC and Sharon for speaking with me and giving me

some support. I also wanted to thank for chatting with me and

informing me about Dr. Kilburn. I also want to thank anyone else who

responded to my message for help....

I have been reading and catching up on all the info... nice to hear

from Dan and Carmella and hope all is well with them...

Now onto just how sick I've been. I have had laryngitis, those darn

headaches, a horrific cough, sores in my nose, bleeding and pus

coming from my toe nail, along with all the usual fatigue, aches,

etc. and my eyes (the blurring, watering, blind spot, etc.) for the

past two weeks and not getting any better. Don't know how much more

I can take of this!.... 'who' I feel for you....

And to add insult to injury, I got back the judges decision for my

disability hearing. I was not only flat out denied, the judge, the

state medical doctors and evaluators that the state made me go see

accused me of all sorts of things like lying, making up all my

symptoms, and the classic it's all in my head, your crazy, that I'm

a " drug-seeker " and that I have a history of " personality traits,

schizoid personality features and narcissistic personality

features " .....! Plus many other things...

His notice is fifteen pages long of nothing but false allegations,

lies, slander and bullying towards not only me but my doctors (the

private docs not the insurance docs that I see). They disregaurded

and discredited all of my doctor's medical forms and evaluations. He

had the nerve to say that my docs were not qualified enough....

I am very much aware that they are being paid by the state to

discredit me in whatever way they can so the state won't have to pay

me. But what's even worse is the fact that the state is trying to

drag my case out as long as they can to pass the deadline of Dec.

31, 2007 because if I can't prove my case by then they will be off

the hook for paying me disability from June 2003 to the present. And

I won't ever be able to file to get my benifits for that time frame,

again...

And talk about conflict of interests!!!!.... How can this system be

so unjust and cruel? All I want is to get better and get back to

work and have my daughter be ok. All this fight is for her not me

and for all those who are suffering in alone or in silence!!

I'm not quite sure even as I typing this what my next move will be

or how my daughter and I are going to survive this. I have nowhere

else to go, I have no money to try to see any doc, whether it be

here w/ Dr. Kilburn or Dr. Shoemaker in land to get treatment

and I'm about to be kicked off of the calworks program (the county

AFDC) that I'v been surviving off of waiting for disability.

Ihaven't been able to work sine June 2003. What is a person supposed

to do? How is one expected live and survive?

These are my only options I have: and they are not good ones

**I could sue my 92 yr. old grandmother in a personal injury case

since she is the owner of the apartment with the mold that has made

my daughter and I so sick. With this option, I would at least have

some money to either move, get treatment and/or to live off of.

**I could also con. to saty in this moldy apartment and try to come

up w/ $3,150 to go see Dr. Kilburn and have my daughter and I tested

under his prtocol which could help me with my disability appeal.

**I could sell everything I own to try to come up with enough money

to get to land to see Dr. Shoemaker which at the least I would

have the peace of mind that my daughter and I would be getting some

help with our illness, even if that means never returning to CA. I'm

just not sure if I could come up w/ enough $ to get us there, to

live off of and to get treatment. And I don't know anyone in

land.

I also would like to appeal my case but I need to find a lawyer who

is going to care about my case and not just meet me five minutes

before we meet with the judge just so the judge can see that I have

representation. Had my lawyer done their job, in my opinion, the

judge would not have been able to slander me or my doctors the way

he did.

Any advice or opinions would be greatly appreciated! I'm about ready

to break but I know that's exactly what that judge and the state

would love to see happen!!! So I can't and won't let it happen!!!

Thanks all,

Dana in Pasadena,CA.

---------------------------------

Get your own web address.

Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

[Guest guest]

Jane,

I wish I could give you some answers, or some hope, but so many of =

us here are in a position of hopelessness. However, try anything, our =

greatest boost on a day to day basis is when we think of something that =

gives us hope, even if at the end of the day it is a flop.

I know your social security disability hearings all too well, been =

there and done that. 7 years ago I injured my back, spent the better =

part of the next 3 years flat on my back with my knees propped up, =

Crawled to the bathroom, and if I had to go out, it required 2 canes and =

a very slow laborous pace. I've worked warehouse most of my life doing =

heavy lifting and as a result I suffered from Degenerative disk disease =

and the injury came in the form of two disks, one herniating and the =

other bulging. How was I denied? The local office changed my work =

history from warehouse work to being a plant manager for the past 16 =

years. The state medical doctor said I was so perfect that I had 20/20 =

vision, yet I wear glasses that are about 1 layer shy of being coke =

bottle glasses. All of my doctors reports were ignored including the =

one from an Orthopedic Surgeon who said I was full time partially =

disabled and part time fully disabled. The states job specialist said =

there were about 3 jobs I could perform, and typically about 1200 of =

these jobs open somewhere in the entire country of the USA, like at this =

point I had money to relocate. I asked where these jobs were, of course =

there were no answers for this, not to mention what boss is going to =

hire someone on canes when there are others in healthier condition who =

would like to have those jobs. So with 4 children at home, one of which =

is handicapped, severely autistic and requires 24/7 oversight, we were =

left stranded.

I cannot give you absolute answers, but for us who suffer and had =

faith in our system to be there when we need them for what we paid for =

all our lives, life gets hard, and in time may get harder. Many a night =

I've prayed we would all be delivered from this cruelty, but every =

morning I wake up and look for an opening through which a little light =

may shine. =20

My denial wasn't bad enough, we obviously had to file for =

bankruptcy, in this case it is referred to as medical bankruptcy, our =

attorney talked us into giving up our house because, " You only get one =

chance to start over " , He said. He also told us if we didn't include =

the house, and was unable to make the payments, then we would have a =

foreclosure on our record on top of the bankruptcy. So we took him at =

his word and added our house to the bankruptcy. Our mortgage company =

was shrewd and vicious, and their attorneys filed for a relief from stay =

to which our attorney did not respond, and guess what.... Because he =

did not respond, we now have a foreclosure on top of our bankruptcy. =

That was 7 years ago, and today, even after paying as much as $1000 per =

month, on time, for a house to live in, I can't even get a $15,000 loan =

to buy a used RV so I can live inexpensively. BTW, it was the house we =

moved in to after giving up our house, that exposed us to toxic levels =

of mold. Being without SSA and not able to work, we could not afford to =

move and I prayed in utter terror many nights about what was happening =

to my family. Some nights were so bad we slept in the garage to get =

away from the mold.

We do have a little assistance, our autistic son gets SSI, which is =

minimal, about $600 per month, but you cannot pay rent and food with =

$600, but we've learned other ways to eek out a little money here and =

there. I learned about internet affiliate marketing, you know, one of =

those get rich quick schemes. I did figure out a way to market some =

electronic goods, advertise them cheap, and make a little profit on the =

side. Most of the year it makes us about $100 per month on average. I =

had a paper route in Indiana that paid about $700, but our rent was $825 =

and utilities were over $300. we also do some gourd art and Carmella =

makes jewelry and hand cream, but our sales are few and far between, =

however when one does sell, it is ussually when we need that little =

extra. Right now we have dropped the paper route and are tent camping =

our way across the country looking for a safe place and a way to live.

On our first legs of the journey, we were staying at KOA camps at =

the cost of $35 - $45 per night, but with the cost of gas to get us to =

New Mexico and the cost of staying a night at KOA, we soon found =

ourselves with 10 days left to the month and about $200. Then we =

learned about state parks. Cheap, as low as $8 per night, or $14 with a =

sheltered table and electricity, the downfall here is, no internet =

connection which means we cannot conduct business. We are trying to get =

things like this email done from camp, then drive into town and for =

about an hour, (battery time on the laptop), we can park outside an =

internet cafe and download our email and conduct a little business. We =

can't go in because we cannot afford their food. Sometimes we find a =

church or hotel that has an unsecured wireless internet connection and =

we can boondock there and get a little bit done, but we have to do most =

from camp, then have everything ready to upload next chance we get.

If we could get an RV, we can rent space cheaper than a piece of =

dirt for pitching a tent, if you can believe that. Tent camping is =

average about $40 per night, no weekly or monthly rates, but an RV is =

about $45- $50 per night, or from $125 to $575 per month depending on =

the park, season and location. You can also get work camping jobs and =

get free space with all hookups, and get paid to boot, but once again, =

it is those that have that get more, and those that don't have that =

cannot get.

Seek diligently something you can do to make a little money. Some =

places on the internet will pay you to write articles, we have found one =

such place that pays quickly, but we cannot do it from the road, again =

an RV would be a Godsend to us as all the major camp sites have free =

wireless interent.

In the end, each of these things have not given us the support we =

need, but each one gives us a little ray of hope which keeps us hanging =

on.

We wish you well, keep looking for a beam of hope in the darkness. =

We will remember you in our prayers, and you have our heartfelt sympathy =

because we know exactly the feeling of desertion and desperation you are =

going through. I only wish we could help others because we know how it =

is.

Dan & Carmella Dunkin

[Guest guest]

I Dan and Carmella,

Thanks for the kind words. The original post of this topic was from

me, Dana gsgrl2000@. Jane was responding to my posting but we all

need the encouraging words. So have you made it NM? I am

contemplating a move, too but it's just me and my daughter; I'm not

married and I don't know too many people in other states but I know

I have to get out of this apartment and Los angeles; it's bad out

here as far as living expenses, cost of rent, cost of gas, trying to

even get a court date is next to impossible and then once you do you

have to deal with all the B.S.....

Good luck too you guys. wish you and yours well,

Dana