Guest guest Posted July 28, 2007 Report Share Posted July 28, 2007 July 26, 2007 | Issue 43•300 http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_noEPA Warns Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste. " The average human body is now only 35 percent organic, " EPA chief Ralph said. " Due to changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's topsoil. " said the EPA is seeking funding to construct a massive, federally managed human-body containment facility in the Mojave Desert to safely and viably store human remains. --------------------------------- --------------------------------- Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with FareChase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 29, 2007 Report Share Posted July 29, 2007 Wow! That's something isn't it! Darlene <darlenesb2000@...> wrote: July 26, 2007 | Issue 43•300 http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_noEPA Warns Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste. " The average human body is now only 35 percent organic, " EPA chief Ralph said. " Due to changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's topsoil. " said the EPA is seeking funding to construct a massive, federally managed human-body containment facility in the Mojave Desert to safely and viably store human remains. --------------------------------- --------------------------------- Looking for a deal? Find great prices on flights and hotels with FareChase. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 4, 2009 Report Share Posted June 4, 2009 I googled 'the onion' and found this, so it is spoof: >Home | The Onion - America's Finest News Source Satirical weekly newspaper poking fun at and culture jamming popular news stories.www.theonion.com - 64k - Cached > July 26, 2007 | Issue 43•300 > http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_noEPA Warns Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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