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Fwd: EPA Warns Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable

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July 26, 2007 | Issue 43•300

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_noEPA Warns

Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental

Protection Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American

citizens, with their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often

toxic substances, have been reclassified as industrial waste. " The average human

body is now only 35 percent organic, " EPA chief Ralph said. " Due to

changes brought about by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed

cheese food product, it is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into

contact with our nation's topsoil. " said the EPA is seeking funding to

construct a massive, federally managed human-body containment facility in the

Mojave Desert to safely and viably store human remains.

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Wow! That's something isn't it!

Darlene <darlenesb2000@...> wrote:

July 26, 2007 | Issue 43•300

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_noEPA Warns

Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental Protection

Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday warning the bodies of American citizens, with

their large concentrations of artificial, synthetic, and often toxic substances,

have been reclassified as industrial waste. " The average human body is now only

35 percent organic, " EPA chief Ralph said. " Due to changes brought about

by modern detergents, silicone implants, and processed cheese food product, it

is no longer safe to allow human tissue to come into contact with our nation's

topsoil. " said the EPA is seeking funding to construct a massive,

federally managed human-body containment facility in the Mojave Desert to safely

and viably store human remains.

---------------------------------

---------------------------------

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  • 1 year later...
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I googled 'the onion' and found this, so it is spoof:

>Home | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Satirical weekly newspaper poking fun at and culture jamming popular news

stories.www.theonion.com - 64k - Cached

> July 26, 2007 | Issue 43•300

> http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/epa_warns_human_beings_noEPA Warns

Human Beings No Longer Biodegradable WASHINGTON, DC—The Environmental Protection

Agency issued a bulletin Tuesday

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