Re: Fwd: FW: Heavenly Jokes (fwd)

[Guest guest]

Just trying to spread some love...

Mark

----Original Message Follows----

> > >>FROM A CHILD'S VIEWPOINT

> > >A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons , 5, and , 3

The

> > >>boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their

> > mother

> > saw

> > >>the opportunity for a moral lesson.

> > >>

> > >> " If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, " Let my brother have

> > the

> > >>first pancake. I can wait. "

> > >>

> > >> turned to his younger brother and said, " , you be

> > Jesus. "

> > >>

> > >>********************

> > >>

> > >>A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old

> > son

> > >>ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a

> > seagull

> > >lay dead in the sand.

> > >>

> > >> " Daddy, what happened to him? " the son asked.

> > >>

> > >> " He died and went to Heaven, " the dad replied. The boy thought a

> > moment

> > >>and then said, " Did God throw him back down? "

> > >>

> > >>********************

> > >>

> > >>After the church service a little boy told the pastor, " When I

> > grow up,

> > >>I'm going to give you some money. "

> > >>

> > >> " Well, thank you, " the pastor replied, " but why? "

> > >>

> > >> " Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest preachers we've

> > ever

> > >>had. "

> > >>

> > >>********************

> > >>

> > >>A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to

> > their

> > >>six-year-old daughter and said, " Would you like to say the

> > blessing? "

> > >>

> > >> " I wouldn't know what to say, " the girl replied.

> > >>

> > >> " Just say what you hear Mommy say, " the wife answered.

> > >>

> > >>The daughter bowed her head and said, " Lord, why on earth did I

> > invite

> > >>all these people to dinner? "

> > >>

> > >>********************

> > >>

> > >>A mother was teaching her three-year-old the Lord's Prayer. For

> > several

> > >>

> > >>evenings at bedtime, the child repeated it after the mother. Then

> > one

> > >>night

> > >>the child was ready to solo. The mother listened with pride to

> > the

> > >>carefully

> > >>enunciated words, right up to the end. " And lead us not into

> > >>temptation, but

> > >>deliver us some e-mail. "

> > >>

> > >>********************

> > >>

> > >>A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead

> > of

> > >>him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather

> > jacket,

> > and

> > >>jeans.

> > >>Saint addresses this guy, " Who are you, so that I may know

> > whether

> > >>or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven? "

> > >>

> > >>The guy replies, " I'm Joe Cohen, taxi driver, of Noo Yawk City. "

> > >>

> > >>St. consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi

> > driver,

> > >> " Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of

> > Heaven. "

> > >>

> > >>The taxi driver goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's

> > the

> > >>minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, " I am ph

> > Snow,

> > >>pastor of Calvary for the last forty-three years. "

> > >>

> > >>St. consults his list. He says to the minister, " Take this

> > cotton

> > >>robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven. "

> > >>

> > >> " Just a minute, " says the minister. " That man was a taxi driver,

> > and

> > he

> > >>gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be? "

> > >>

> > >> " Up here, we work by results, " says Saint . " While you

> > preached,

> > >>people slept; while he drove, people prayed. "

> > >>

> > >>********************

> > >>

> > >>A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination,

> > and

> > >>looked at the old pages as he turned them. Suddenly, something

> > fell

> > out

> > of

> > >the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an

old

> > leaf

> > >>from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages. " Momma,

> > look

> > what

> > >I found, " the boy called out.

> > >>

> > >> " What have you got there, dear? " his mother asked.

> > >>

> > >>With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered: " I think

> > it's

> > >>Adam's suit! "

> > >>

> >

> > >********************

> > >>

> > >>The preacher was wired for sound with a lapel mic, and as he

> > preached,

> > >>he moved briskly about the platform, jerking the mic cord as he

> > went.

> > >>Then he moved to one side, getting wound up in the cord and nearly

> > tripping

> > >>before jerking it again. After several circles and jerks, a

> > little

> > girl

> > in

> > >the third pew leaned toward her mother and whispered, "

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