Guest guest Posted May 10, 1999 Report Share Posted May 10, 1999 >>HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN (excluding mother) AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: >> >>She is not a BABE or a CHICK - She is a BREASTED AMERICAN. >>She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT. >>She is not an UNTOUCHABLE SNOB - She is a SCRATCH RESISTANT MODEL. >>She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE. >>She is not HALF NAKED - She is WARDROBE IMPAIRED. >>She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED. >>She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES. >>She does not want to be MARRIED - >> She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION. >>She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER. >>She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. >>She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. >>She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION. >>She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. >>She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT. >>She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE. >>She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT. >>She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. >>She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE. >>She does not GET YOU EXCITED - She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT. >>She is not KINKY - She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER. >>She does not have a KILLER BODY - She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE. >>She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT. >>She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. >>She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. >>She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY. >>She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE. >>She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. >>She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION. >>She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. >>She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE >>She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. >>She is not LOOSE - She is ELASTICALLY UNDERPRIVILEGED. >>She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR. >>She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER. > > >_______________________________________________________________ >Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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