Re: Houston Chronicle report on parents leaving public schools

[Guest guest]

,This is a great article, but I disagree with the sympathy for the school districts.  If they used the money properly in the first place by instituting programs that are research based, they would be more successful and save money in the long run -- at least in terms of how many of these children will wind up unemployed a year after graduation (67%) and how many will wind up in the prison system within five years (roughly 33%) but I certainly believe rates are higher than the national rates.  How many shall wind up in institutions?  How many will be homeless?  If they invested 900 Million over the coming years, they could save 900 BILLION when these kids become non-productive adults.

If we did studies on the outcomes of these kids who aged out over the last ten years, where do you think we would find them?One of the problem is that special ed money is allowed to go into the general funds of schools, and this makes it very easy to redirect it.  Schools are notorious for finagling.

How many public schools in Texas do you know that have viable ABA programs?  How many use TEACCH?  How many early intervention programs use Floor-time techniques?  Most refuse to do anything but a one size fits all, which we know does not work.

The parents who are lucky enough to either be able to home school and meet their autistic child's needs or be able to afford private schooling -- thank God, but there are countless others who cannot afford either, and these children get left on the one way ride to institutionalization....and we know what the institutions in Texas are like.

We have been home schooling for almost two years now, and were it not for his Medicaid waiver providing PT,OT, and speech we would not be able to afford these services at all. There are countless others on waiting lists to be able to get these services for their children.  For us, even figuring out how we shall pay for his RPM is a daunting task. There are other things to pay for to meet his needs, as well.  At the same time, we must meet his medical needs, much of which is not covered by either Medicaid or Insurance. IMO, parent should be angry - not sympathetic.

My husband and I have collectively paid property taxes in the state of Texas for over 32 years.  In five of those years, we paid taxes in two separate districts.  This comes to a minimum of around $64,000.  Then take into account that had I had any confidence that my child could be in a safe, healthy, productive educational environment that met his needs, I would have returned full time to teaching, but since the school environment made him SICK and caused one infection after another and so many other things I cannot talk about, I could not return to work, and now of course must continue to home school.  Shall we count the roughly $400,000 I have lost in wages over the last ten years?  

I find that my tax dollars won't even keep the pot holes fixed on our street, and in 32 years we have needed 911 but once.  Is it wrong for us to want the schools to do right by our kids when they need it?

Why must parents of special needs kids pay twice?The solution of course is vouchers for special needs kids. You would see these schools change fast enough if parents had the right to take those dollars elsewhere -- because there are many who are still having to rely on these schools who have no accountability.

I have somewhere in my files a document showing that between 2001- 2004, Texas schools paid lawyers 58 MILLION dollars of taxpayer money fighting special ed parents.  Does this sound like districts that care and just feel bad they don't have the money to have viable programs?  That 58 MILLION, if put in a trust could have risen Texas to the top in special education instead of fighting over fiftieth place with Georgia.

The 64 thousand we have paid in property taxes over the years, if invested wisely would have paid for decent education for our child.We are in that same position so many parents find themselves in -- wanting the school to shoulder SOME of the responsibility because the law says they are supposed to. Instead, the recently spent more on an attorney to attend a meeting  than it would have cost to continue our son's RPM for a year.  does this sound right to you?

Perhaps there is a lot more prejudice against these kids than you realize.  They do not think our children can improve, grow, and get better.  Though my son is now high functioning and very verbal, they still see him as the severe, non-verbal, spaced out child he was at three. Now there intent is to label our child ID so we will back away, and we have to decide...... because it is as the article says, they have unlimited taxpayer resources to pay attorneys, and the parent has to decide whether to spend the money in DP or spend it in educating the child.  They sit back with Cheshire CAT grins on their faces because prejudice still reigns and the truth is they want special ed dollars but not special ed kids. Things really have not changed since my aunt was young.  The only difference is they let them come to school, but then they must either sink or swim in inclusion or be warehoused in self-contained classes that are little more than over-glorified baby sitting environments.  IMO.

A system where districts can use taxpayer money at will to fight special ed parents, deny FAPE to special ed kids through intimidation and financial ruin is a BROKEN system.  Though many of us will find a way to home school, I feel great sadness for those we are leaving behind who have no other choice but to depend on a system that will prepare them for no acceptable future.

Thanks for posting the article as at least now we know we are not alone and there are so many other parents in the same situation.  I have been struggling with the decision to continue or to try to see if he can get a FAPE and receive services, but the truth is it is like trying to go through a brick wall.  The progress he has made over the last two years is nothing I would want to risk.

It is sad that we are all so spread out or we could create charter schools for kids with learning differences and thereby receive these funds rather than them going to schools who never find it practicable to use research-based practices.

However, I do wish these parents who have fled would ban together to fight for vouchers.  Since home schools are considered private schools in Texas, this could help so many parents defray the high cost of home schooling a child with autism.

Shygirl

[Guest guest]

Not everyone who works in the school system is bad.

We’ve really been blessed to have some teachers & administrators who have hearts in the right place, the right training and willing to go the extra mile. Really, they do exist. So are you going to crap all over them because of some egotistical @#$%%^ s who run the special ed programs like their own private fiefdoms, and treat parents like servants or slaves? The task of we parents is to really give the hammer to those incompent or worse people in the schools.

You focus on the good that is there and build on it. That the basis of behavior analysis, and that should be the basis for school advocacy.

S.

Re: Houston Chronicle report on parents leaving public schools

Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:09 pm (PDT) . Posted by:

" Haven DeLay " motherbird75

,

This is a great article, but I disagree with the sympathy for the school

districts. If they used the money properly in the first place by

[Guest guest]

Haven,

I completely agree with you on this one. I will not say how much has been spent on my sons education out of my own pocket in the last 18 months nut it is rather astronomical. The district had huge fits trying to find out where my son was being schooled at only to be sent registered letters reminding them of there own rules and regulations. they have left us alone for a year however it owuld not be surpising if they started the crap up again being the new year just started.

It greeves me greatly. I would like to be able to place my son in a public education setting. However the locall district is not condusive to any child that may be on the Autistic Spectrum. The self contained classrooms are yes GLORIFIED DAYCARES and the alternative is just as bad. Social skills classes are not offered until HIGHSCHOOL (by then it is too late) and the kids that need the skills have already been in trouble and either removed by parents, expelled by the districts, or the students that make it long enough are GIVEN a diploma in an effort by the districts to get them out so the districts are no longer are required to deal with them.

Subject: Re: Houston Chronicle report on parents leaving public schoolsTo: Texas-Autism-Advocacy Date: Sunday, August 26, 2012, 11:09 PM

,

This is a great article, but I disagree with the sympathy for the school districts. If they used the money properly in the first place by instituting programs that are research based, they would be more successful and save money in the long run -- at least in terms of how many of these children will wind up unemployed a year after graduation (67%) and how many will wind up in the prison system within five years (roughly 33%) but I certainly believe rates are higher than the national rates. How many shall wind up in institutions? How many will be homeless? If they invested 900 Million over the coming years, they could save 900 BILLION when these kids become non-productive adults.

If we did studies on the outcomes of these kids who aged out over the last ten years, where do you think we would find them?

One of the problem is that special ed money is allowed to go into the general funds of schools, and this makes it very easy to redirect it. Schools are notorious for finagling.

How many public schools in Texas do you know that have viable ABA programs? How many use TEACCH? How many early intervention programs use Floor-time techniques? Most refuse to do anything but a one size fits all, which we know does not work.

The parents who are lucky enough to either be able to home school and meet their autistic child's needs or be able to afford private schooling -- thank God, but there are countless others who cannot afford either, and these children get left on the one way ride to institutionalization....and we know what the institutions in Texas are like.

We have been home schooling for almost two years now, and were it not for his Medicaid waiver providing PT,OT, and speech we would not be able to afford these services at all. There are countless others on waiting lists to be able to get these services for their children. For us, even figuring out how we shall pay for his RPM is a daunting task. There are other things to pay for to meet his needs, as well. At the same time, we must meet his medical needs, much of which is not covered by either Medicaid or Insurance. IMO, parent should be angry - not sympathetic.

My husband and I have collectively paid property taxes in the state of Texas for over 32 years. In five of those years, we paid taxes in two separate districts. This comes to a minimum of around $64,000. Then take into account that had I had any confidence that my child could be in a safe, healthy, productive educational environment that met his needs, I would have returned full time to teaching, but since the school environment made him SICK and caused one infection after another and so many other things I cannot talk about, I could not return to work, and now of course must continue to home school. Shall we count the roughly $400,000 I have lost in wages over the last ten years?

I find that my tax dollars won't even keep the pot holes fixed on our street, and in 32 years we have needed 911 but once. Is it wrong for us to want the schools to do right by our kids when they need it?

Why must parents of special needs kids pay twice?

The solution of course is vouchers for special needs kids. You would see these schools change fast enough if parents had the right to take those dollars elsewhere -- because there are many who are still having to rely on these schools who have no accountability.

I have somewhere in my files a document showing that between 2001- 2004, Texas schools paid lawyers 58 MILLION dollars of taxpayer money fighting special ed parents. Does this sound like districts that care and just feel bad they don't have the money to have viable programs? That 58 MILLION, if put in a trust could have risen Texas to the top in special education instead of fighting over fiftieth place with Georgia.

The 64 thousand we have paid in property taxes over the years, if invested wisely would have paid for decent education for our child.

We are in that same position so many parents find themselves in -- wanting the school to shoulder SOME of the responsibility because the law says they are supposed to. Instead, the recently spent more on an attorney to attend a meeting than it would have cost to continue our son's RPM for a year. does this sound right to you?

Perhaps there is a lot more prejudice against these kids than you realize. They do not think our children can improve, grow, and get better. Though my son is now high functioning and very verbal, they still see him as the severe, non-verbal, spaced out child he was at three. Now there intent is to label our child ID so we will back away, and we have to decide...... because it is as the article says, they have unlimited taxpayer resources to pay attorneys, and the parent has to decide whether to spend the money in DP or spend it in educating the child. They sit back with Cheshire CAT grins on their faces because prejudice still reigns and the truth is they want special ed dollars but not special ed kids. Things really have not changed since my aunt was young. The only difference is they let them come to school, but then they must either sink or swim in inclusion or be warehoused in

self-contained classes that are little more than over-glorified baby sitting environments. IMO.

A system where districts can use taxpayer money at will to fight special ed parents, deny FAPE to special ed kids through intimidation and financial ruin is a BROKEN system. Though many of us will find a way to home school, I feel great sadness for those we are leaving behind who have no other choice but to depend on a system that will prepare them for no acceptable future.

Thanks for posting the article as at least now we know we are not alone and there are so many other parents in the same situation. I have been struggling with the decision to continue or to try to see if he can get a FAPE and receive services, but the truth is it is like trying to go through a brick wall. The progress he has made over the last two years is nothing I would want to risk.

It is sad that we are all so spread out or we could create charter schools for kids with learning differences and thereby receive these funds rather than them going to schools who never find it practicable to use research-based practices.

However, I do wish these parents who have fled would ban together to fight for vouchers. Since home schools are considered private schools in Texas, this could help so many parents defray the high cost of home schooling a child with autism.

Shygirl

[Guest guest]

I don't think it's ever too late. My sons ability to control his sensory system and behavior didn't make social skills viable till at least 7th grade. I also don't think if your not included by 2nd grade you should be in life skills. (not your words but the thoughts of many districts) my son went from life skills to full inclusion starting in the 6th grade.

Trina >  >> Haven,> I completely agree with you on this one. I will not say how much has been spent on my sons education out of my own pocket in the last 18 months nut it is rather astronomical. The district had huge fits trying to find out where my son was being schooled at only to be sent registered letters reminding them of there own rules and regulations. they have left us alone for a year however it owuld not be surpising if they started the crap up again being the new year just started.

> It greeves me greatly. I would like to be able to place my son in a public education setting. However the locall district is not condusive to any child that may be on the Autistic Spectrum. The self contained classrooms are yes GLORIFIED DAYCARES and the alternative is just as bad. Social skills classes are not offered until HIGHSCHOOL (by then it is too late) and the kids that need the skills have already been in trouble and either removed by parents, expelled by the districts, or the students that make it long enough are GIVEN a diploma in an effort by the districts to get them out so the districts are no longer are required to deal with them.

>  > >> >>

> Subject: Re: Houston Chronicle report on parents leaving public schools> To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy > Date: Sunday, August 26, 2012, 11:09 PM

>>  > ,> This is a great article, but I disagree with the sympathy for the school districts.  If they used the money properly in the first place by instituting programs that are research based, they would be more successful and save money in the long run -- at least in terms of how many of these children will wind up unemployed a year after graduation (67%) and how many will wind up in the prison system within five years (roughly 33%) but I certainly believe rates are higher than the national rates.  How many shall wind up in institutions?  How many will be homeless?  If they invested 900 Million over the coming years, they could save 900 BILLION when these kids become non-productive adults.

> If we did studies on the outcomes of these kids who aged out over the last ten years, where do you think we would find them?> One of the problem is that special ed money is allowed to go into the general funds of schools, and this makes it very easy to redirect it.  Schools are notorious for finagling.

> How many public schools in Texas do you know that have viable ABA programs?  How many use TEACCH?  How many early intervention programs use Floor-time techniques?  Most refuse to do anything but a one size fits all, which we know does not work.

> The parents who are lucky enough to either be able to home school and meet their autistic child's needs or be able to afford private schooling -- thank God, but there are countless others who cannot afford either, and these children get left on the one way ride to institutionalization....and we know what the institutions in Texas are like.

> We have been home schooling for almost two years now, and were it not for his Medicaid waiver providing PT,OT, and speech we would not be able to afford these services at all. There are countless others on waiting lists to be able to get these services for their children.  For us, even figuring out how we shall pay for his RPM is a daunting task. There are other things to pay for to meet his needs, as well.  At the same time, we must meet his medical needs, much of which is not covered by either Medicaid or Insurance. IMO, parent should be angry - not sympathetic.

> My husband and I have collectively paid property taxes in the state of Texas for over 32 years.  In five of those years, we paid taxes in two separate districts.  This comes to a minimum of around $64,000.  Then take into account that had I had any confidence that my child could be in a safe, healthy, productive educational environment that met his needs, I would have returned full time to teaching, but since the school environment made him SICK and caused one infection after another and so many other things I cannot talk about, I could not return to work, and now of course must continue to home school.  Shall we count the roughly $400,000 I have lost in wages over the last ten years?  

> I find that my tax dollars won't even keep the pot holes fixed on our street, and in 32 years we have needed 911 but once.  Is it wrong for us to want the schools to do right by our kids when they need it?> Why must parents of special needs kids pay twice?

> The solution of course is vouchers for special needs kids. You would see these schools change fast enough if parents had the right to take those dollars elsewhere -- because there are many who are still having to rely on these schools who have no accountability.

> I have somewhere in my files a document showing that between 2001- 2004, Texas schools paid lawyers 58 MILLION dollars of taxpayer money fighting special ed parents.  Does this sound like districts that care and just feel bad they don't have the money to have viable programs?  That 58 MILLION, if put in a trust could have risen Texas to the top in special education instead of fighting over fiftieth place with Georgia.

> The 64 thousand we have paid in property taxes over the years, if invested wisely would have paid for decent education for our child.> We are in that same position so many parents find themselves in -- wanting the school to shoulder SOME of the responsibility because the law says they are supposed to. Instead, the recently spent more on an attorney to attend a meeting  than it would have cost to continue our son's RPM for a year.  does this sound right to you?

> Perhaps there is a lot more prejudice against these kids than you realize.  They do not think our children can improve, grow, and get better.  Though my son is now high functioning and very verbal, they still see him as the severe, non-verbal, spaced out child he was at three. Now there intent is to label our child ID so we will back away, and we have to decide...... because it is as the article says, they have unlimit

>>

[Guest guest]

It’s good to hear this hopeful info, Trina. Thanks!

[Guest guest]

As we know, all kids and even school districts are unique.  Some are most certainly better than others.Certainly, there are good, well meaning teachers out there  -- not touting my own horn or meaning to, but I believe that for fifteen years I was one of them.  I cared deeply for my students -- even a lot of very tough ones, but trust me there were a couple of psychotic ones (and unfortunatley I mean that literally), and I ofund little help from adminitrators in dealing with one of them.  It is pretty bad when a child pulls a knife on you in class and won't relinquishment the knife, so you boot him out of class and instead of getting support, they send the school psychologist up to psychoanalyze you.  I saw a LOT of drumming down if a kid was labeled special ed, and that was not fair to the kid.  I saw a lot of BAD behavior let go because a child was special ed.

My aunt was deaf, mute, and brain damaged, but she still knew right from wrong.  I also heard time and time again as they handed me the content mastery objectives for a kid, " Teach what you want, but just don't fail them. "  And I chose to do right by these kids. Even then I saw the disparity in education that these kids were given compared to neuro-typical kids, and if a parent wanted to tell me about their child and how their child learned, I did not dismiss them.

, your situation is far different and perhaps you were lucky enough to be in a better district.  We have faced prejudice and bigotry since day one.  Unfortunately common mainstream knowledge has not caught up with our little tiny town full of GCB's.  

Anyone can be well meaning.  I know my brother was saved by one caring teacher.  Sometimes that is all it takes.  But (though we didn't know what it was called at the time) he had ADHD and he has learned on his own how to manage it and has become successful.  There is still so much more at stake for us.  Our son is an only child.  Our chosen guardians are older than we are.  We are determined that our son will have an independent life of his own and be able to support himself. None of this would be possible in our district.

I did come across some very well meaning individuals -- one was an OT and was there when my son was very little and she did a lot to help him, but she left because they water down services so much and she was not allowed to give the kids the services they needed.  Another did my my child under her wing and in working with him on Language Arts these past two years, I know she taught him something because he is now at fourth grade level there.

But I have dealt with enough rolling eyes at snickers at the mention that my child can learn this or that to last me a lifetime.  Those of  you in districts that have more well meaning teachers are very lucky.  I think the further out you get from a metropolis, the fewer these will be to find.

I find that people are very unwilling to change, to embrace new ideas and different paradigms.  It is a struggle.  And the worst part is that even if you prove yourself right, it is not appreciated in the least.

They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing.  It is almost a curse to me that I was educated in a private school because I see the vast chasm of disparity between private schools and public even for neuro-typical children.  We do not make education a priority in this country, so perhaps that is why the Japanese companies own most of the commercial real estate in this one

I wish it were just one or two egotistical #@!$%^ & , but we have dealt with 98% crap and a few who are well meaning but have no power to do anything about it.  They just do what they are told so they can keep their jobs, and I can't blame them for that.

No one still said anything about the vouchers.  Why have we all stopped fighting for that?  Public education as it stands today is a socialistic system that is a miserable failure.  let us open it up to free enterprise and competition for education dollars --- oh the changes we would see!!!

You know what I think is funny?  In a few years (not long) my son will be 6'5 " or better.  Ten to one someone will see us and then they will want him for the basketball team. Priorities.

[Guest guest]

I have a nephew that attends the local ISD. He has desperatly needed social skills training since very early on. The local ISD would not even offer it until he was in highschool. He is now nearly 18 and for him it is too late. He has an obvious case of ODD and who knows what else. He will likly make it to jail before anything else...so yes for some it is too late>> > Subject: Re: Houston Chronicle report on parents leaving public schools> To: Texas-Autism-Advocacy > Date: Sunday, August 26, 2012, 11:09 PM>> > ,> This is a great article, but I disagree with the sympathy for the school districts. If they used the money properly in the first place by instituting programs that

are research based, they would be more successful and save money in the long run -- at least in terms of how many of these children will wind up unemployed a year after graduation (67%) and how many will wind up in the prison system within five years (roughly 33%) but I certainly believe rates are higher than the national rates. How many shall wind up in institutions? How many will be homeless? If they invested 900 Million over the coming years, they could save 900 BILLION when these kids become non-productive adults.> If we did studies on the outcomes of these kids who aged out over the last ten years, where do you think we would find them?> One of the problem is that special ed money is allowed to go into the general funds of schools, and this makes it very easy to redirect it. Schools are notorious for finagling.> How many public schools in Texas do you know that have viable

ABA programs? How many use TEACCH? How many early intervention programs use Floor-time techniques? Most refuse to do anything but a one size fits all, which we know does not work.> The parents who are lucky enough to either be able to home school and meet their autistic child's needs or be able to afford private schooling -- thank God, but there are countless others who cannot afford either, and these children get left on the one way ride to institutionalization....and we know what the institutions in Texas are like.> We have been home schooling for almost two years now, and were it not for his Medicaid waiver providing PT,OT, and speech we would not be able to afford these services at all. There are countless others on waiting lists to be able to get these services for their children. For us, even figuring out how we shall pay for his RPM is a daunting task. There are other things to pay for to meet

his needs, as well. At the same time, we must meet his medical needs, much of which is not covered by either Medicaid or Insurance. IMO, parent should be angry - not sympathetic.> My husband and I have collectively paid property taxes in the state of Texas for over 32 years. In five of those years, we paid taxes in two separate districts. This comes to a minimum of around $64,000. Then take into account that had I had any confidence that my child could be in a safe, healthy, productive educational environment that met his needs, I would have returned full time to teaching, but since the school environment made him SICK and caused one infection after another and so many other things I cannot talk about, I could not return to work, and now of course must continue to home school. Shall we count the roughly $400,000 I have lost in wages over the last ten years? > I find that my tax

dollars won't even keep the pot holes fixed on our street, and in 32 years we have needed 911 but once. Is it wrong for us to want the schools to do right by our kids when they need it?> Why must parents of special needs kids pay twice?> The solution of course is vouchers for special needs kids. You would see these schools change fast enough if parents had the right to take those dollars elsewhere -- because there are many who are still having to rely on these schools who have no accountability.> I have somewhere in my files a document showing that between 2001- 2004, Texas schools paid lawyers 58 MILLION dollars of taxpayer money fighting special ed parents. Does this sound like districts that care and just feel bad they don't have the money to have viable programs? That 58 MILLION, if put in a trust could have risen Texas to the top in special education instead of fighting over fiftieth

place with Georgia.> The 64 thousand we have paid in property taxes over the years, if invested wisely would have paid for decent education for our child.> We are in that same position so many parents find themselves in -- wanting the school to shoulder SOME of the responsibility because the law says they are supposed to. Instead, the recently spent more on an attorney to attend a meeting than it would have cost to continue our son's RPM for a year. does this sound right to you?> Perhaps there is a lot more prejudice against these kids than you realize. They do not think our children can improve, grow, and get better. Though my son is now high functioning and very verbal, they still see him as the severe, non-verbal, spaced out child he was at three. Now there intent is to label our child ID so we will back away, and we have to decide...... because it is as the article says,

they have unlimit>>

[Guest guest]

All our kids need formal, structured, social skills class.  One of the biggest areas of need is in social skills, and how do schools deal with it -- oh throughout the day all the teachers do it or they turn them loose on the playground and expect them to get it on their own.  I drove by many a day to see my son stimming like crazy all alone on the playground while the teachers were using it as free time and not seeing the opportunity that was there..

And I will tout my own horn here:  IN 1980 I went to work at a publicly funded " school " for the disabled in Oak Cliff.The first day, they sent me to the playground to report to the " teacher. "  The teacher was sitting on her fat ass doing NOTHING and so the " clients " as they were called -- kids that aged form 16 to 27 and considered severely disabled were just standing around doing nothing -- spaced out.

None of the kids had autism -- in fact -- in the whole school of 1300, there was only one man in his thirties with autism (and to this day I remember his face -- I never forgot him).

Anyway, on the playground there were swings and these huge concrete culverts to crawl through and a huge field to run in and a merry-go round.The next day, I got these kids playing and running and swinging and going on the merry-go round, and while I was there, we did that every day.

Most of the kids were non-verbal.  Oh I could tell you all stories...The teacher was a neglectful, abusive @#$%^!    I was a very naive 21 year old (you know Catholic school girl and all).  The real world was very different, and I butted heads with that fat cow on a daily basis.  Even when I went to the principal about the abuse, nothing was done so I id my most best to be the buffer.  that teacher did little more than sit on her !@@ and eat Cheetos and drink soda.  

That was the first time I heard that line from the principal when I spoke about the way this teacher treated these kids.   " Well, it is hard to find anyone who wants to teach " these " kids. "  So hitting brick walls has been going on forever.  That was thirty-two  years ago.  I left after a year as I just couldn't think of another year with that kind of crap (and I was working my way through college at the time).

I was glad to see that one of my students got placed with a family after his grandmother died and did not go to an institution.  I like to think that my teaching him to be potty trained and how to do life skills (brush his teeth, button, wash, etc..) helped to keep him out of the institution. After I had been at the school a while, on the way to the bus, he walked passed and smiled his toothless grin and hugged me.  Maybe it was because we had played on the playground and not just sat there or maybe it was because I had a piano brought into the room and got another teacher to come in a play for them -- little things, but I know I started to see smiles when I had seen no smiles that first day.

After he gave me a little hug, the teacher ordered me to SLAP him.  I refused adamantly of course, and we had yet another tete a tete.  I don't like to say anyone is in hell, but I would have loved to be a fly on the wall while ST. asked this woman about the kids she locked in the closet while I was out at lunch or in a meeting.  Or the kids she allowed to sit in their own feces because I was out and not there to do the clean up and changing.

And I do look back and wish I had had more worldly wisdom to go to the press when the principal tuned a deaf ear.  I was very naive and unknowledgeable -- I did manage to get some parents to get there kids out, but most were the poorest of the poor and they had no alternative.

At any rate, I know bigotry and prejudice when I see it, and here they think they are doing wonderfully well if they just let the kids come to school and the parent should just be grateful to have a brake.  I would love to fee that someone really valued and believed in my child.

Do you know how to really tell if they value your child?  It is when they give your child the DIGNITY of failing.  It is when they don't just tell them they did great and got 100 when they really didn't, it is when they teach them that success takes works.

I dealt with a very lazy child the first few months of home schooling.  the first days I tested him on my own, I was even more appalled at how little he had learned in 7.5 years, and it made me SCARED and nervous.

Now here we are, and he has exceeded my expectations. He learned to dive this summer -- not off the side but off the ledge that is about a foot into the pool.  The lady we originally wanted to teach him made a lame excuse when she realized I was " that parent " so declined to teach him.  But it was device providence.  the next teacher we found " gets it. "  She was stricken with polio as an infant.  She can walk but it is difficult so she uses a scooter.  When is a retired registered nurse, and in the water she is eloquent.  she normally stops swimming lessons at the end of July, but Ethan charmed her, so we are still going until the water gets too cold.  She has been a God send. He is almost to fourth grad in math now and halfway through third grade reading.  Language Arts is almost up to fifth grade, and so of course is spelling.

Can you imagine what it would b e like to live in a wholly autism community?  It is a day dream I like to have.  I think I would love to live in a community where everyone " gets it. "  And we could have a real school that really teaches our kids.....