Re: Donna and Courage - 2008 Gathering

[Guest guest]

Ya Courage! Listen to Donna. She knows best. You go Donna!

Sandie

 

Des Moines, IA

dad, Merle, passed away from LBD 9-20-02, age 65

mum, Jo, (MIL) passed away from LBD 4-29-07, age 78

-- Re: 2008 Gathering

lololololololol.....I really am planning on going but at the same

time I need to be realistic. So far there have been two votes for the

Second week of August and that weekend I wouldn't be able to go because I've

got birthdays on my end. Maybe third weekend in August?

Courage

Re: 2008 Gathering

Hi Sandie,

So are you talking Friday, August 1st to Monday, August 4th? I consulted

my calendar and it states that Monday is a civic holiday but since I'm

Canadian I'm not sure if this is an American holiday as well?????

I'm going to try my darndest to make it and really do hope that I can. If

I can't I will be very disappointed in myself but will look forward to

hearing from all those who attended and pics as well.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Donna-

And, if all else fails, I have 's phone number. Courage did inform

her daughter that she may be kidnapped for this gathering so that proves

there is no getting out of this. All I have to do is phone and ask

that she have her mom's bag packed...the rest is up to us getting her in

your car or my truck with the mad Scot. I will already have one drunken

International guest, one more won't hurt a thing.

Plus we will have and Ron is there with you in Michigan. A couple

big guys to help with the heist.

Courage, you can run but you can't hide. Better get to reading the books.

Many gentle hugs saving up my strength for the heist-

Sandie

-- Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Sandie,

I am so glad you have phone. I had forgotten that. I was going to rely

on guilt after I drove so far!

Hugs, LOL

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Hi Donna, guilt is a wonderful weapon, lol , but remember you still have

hypnosis and booze to use as aces in the hole.And if all else fails s

horse thingys to boot. Ron

Donna Mido wrote: Sandie,

I am so glad you have phone. I had forgotten that. I was going to rely on

guilt after I drove so far!

Hugs, LOL

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Yep Im ready and willing if needed.Oh and ummm will have his golf clubs

for the trip???Illegle human heists can be very stressful on a person, Just in

case we happen to see a golf course some where it cant hurt to be prepared.

Sandie/ wrote: Donna-

And, if all else fails, I have 's phone number. Courage did inform

her daughter that she may be kidnapped for this gathering so that proves

there is no getting out of this. All I have to do is phone and ask

that she have her mom's bag packed...the rest is up to us getting her in

your car or my truck with the mad Scot. I will already have one drunken

International guest, one more won't hurt a thing.

Plus we will have and Ron is there with you in Michigan. A couple

big guys to help with the heist.

Courage, you can run but you can't hide. Better get to reading the books.

Many gentle hugs saving up my strength for the heist-

Sandie

-- Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

lololololololol...you guys have got me laughing hard this morning! I'm going to

start putting some Ativan aside right now as it seems I'm going on a trip this

year, for sure!

Courage

Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Donna, if all else fails i'll just turn up at her door with my cases and make a

pest of myself til she gives in!!! i can be quite good at that you

know..........if i need to have a CG gathering at a party with booze then i'm

all for going to Canada!!!

amanda.xx

Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Donna-

One more tool in the box we have that we can use, if need be.

Hugs to you-

Sandie

 

Des Moines, IA

dad, Merle, passed away from LBD 9-20-02, age 65

mum, Jo, (MIL) passed away from LBD 4-29-07, age 78

-- Pacifier

Hi All,

Since I'm not feeling 100% right now I didn't go in to see mom but I called

her caregiver and she told me that either my sister or one of the nurses

assistants has been trying to give my mom a baby's pacifier - yes, you read

right - a baby's pacifier!!!!!!! I have never heard of this one!!!!!!! I

think this is coming from my sister as I can't see a paid employee taking

such liberties.

I am rolling my eyes on this one.

Courage

[Guest guest]

Courage,

Have you spoken to the Aide yet to find out why she

was giving your mom a pacifier? They do have pacifiers

with thermometers in them now (we just bought one for

my grandson) So I was just wondering if maybe she had

some hairbrained idea to use that instead of a regular

thermometer? I'm so curious about this bizaare

behaviour.

lisa

Engles

SEIU-UHW Shop Steward

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[Guest guest]

HI ,

Haven't followed up on that because mom is no longer using it - thank goodness.

Courage

Re: Donna and Courage - 2008 Gathering

Courage,

Have you spoken to the Aide yet to find out why she

was giving your mom a pacifier? They do have pacifiers

with thermometers in them now (we just bought one for

my grandson) So I was just wondering if maybe she had

some hairbrained idea to use that instead of a regular

thermometer? I'm so curious about this bizaare

behaviour.

lisa

Engles

SEIU-UHW Shop Steward

__________________________________________________________

Be a better friend, newshound, and

know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now.

http://mobile.yahoo.com/;_ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ

[Guest guest]

My standard response in this would have to be, " feelings are neither right, nor

wrong, they just are! "

We all let go at times and let it all out. With this disease, especially, the

frustrtion meter can max out easily.

How far are you away if you move to where the grandchildren are?

There is a point in the disease when things no longer register, at all?

If you are already there, your discussion may have meant absolutely nothing to

her.

Do you have to sell a home or make lengthy arrangements?

A six month plan that extended into 3 years seems pretty unpredictable.

A Godincidence to me would be that she slowly caved and passed before you

could leave town.

It is so easy to be too tired to second guess yourself, and i suspect if you

go ahead and move, that if she is still around, you will figure an ecomonical

way to make other arrangements.

With your current resentment, you are of no use to her right now, and you are

probably hurting both of you by staying.

If she is supposed to go with you somehow, an easy way will present itself.

For right now, it seems you need to put some space between you two.

The bitterness you shared about her not protecting you is eating away at you,

and makes your caregiving more stressful than most other caregivers deal with.

Start making your plans, and visit your mother less. See how you fair without

seeing her as often, if you are convinced the facility is taking adequate care

of her. If it seems you can leave without feeling extreme guilt, then you are

probably doing the right thing.

Staying because of a promise, rather than staying because you want to, may be

hurting both of you more than you know.

If you are close enough to make visits after you move, it seems that would be

the best decision.

Only you can see the damage all of this is taking on everybody, and only you

can know how you would feel if you left. At the very least, get some space

between you, so you can analyze what the move would mean.

I'd hate to see you move and then feel awful with your mother back where she

is. If you need to have her near you after you move, you will find a way.

She may also expire before you can get moved. At the risk of causing great

debate and controversy here, this is where I would lay it all in God's hands,

and let the answer speak to my heart.

I am just saying that is what I would do, and not that you have to do the

same. With such strong feelings of resentment, you are doing neither of you any

good, so it's time to do something different. This is where the higher powers

need to get involved.

I can feel the tiredness in our words, and i can see your perspective is in

jeporady. Take a respite from your visiting schedule, and tell the nursing home

people why you need to back off. they may be the first to say she really

doesn't know if you are there, or not, and that you should move to save your own

sanity.

Well, there's my two cents. I have had more than 36 hours of sleep, in the

last two days, and can see what an emotional toll all my time with Millie was

taking. You need to get away, for everybody's sake.

whether it is permanently, you will know soon enough.

Carol

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