An idea maybe not otherwise considered - Re: Cassandra and Apollo

[Guest guest]

Hi Steve....

Thanks.

Family - my mom is the only one I talk to about my AS. I don't talk with my

brother or sister-in-law about it. I am from the " Lost Generation " - the

generation of adults who never had access to being diagnosed with AS, when the

generation was younger. The younger generation in their 20s - they had access

to the tools when they were younger. Thus, they should have been able to adapt

to AS at a much younger age.

About all the " positiveness " that comes from my life. I have a shirt that has

the words " Half Full " on the front. It is a reminder of always beliving my life

would get better, when I told myself in the midst during the 'black hole of my

life'(2007-2009) " the best years of my life are ahead of me " - then believing

and knowing it, even though I had absolutely NO IDEA what was ahead of me. That

became like a daily mantra - even though some days were " quite a few steps

backwards, one step forward " .

Having and living with a thankful and grateful spirit is one of the biggest

" difference makers " in my life. Realizing I am grateful and thankful for living

with what I do daily, although it can feel like a " two-edged sword " . Grateful I

have the gift for calculating things quickly to this day without the use of a

calculator. Thankful in knowing that being socially adept will never be one of

my strengths - unless I am one-on-one with someone or in a small group or where

I am comfortable. I do not feel like I need to be someone I am not.

Grateful knowing I have an opportunity to make a difference in the lives of

other adults and young adults with Aspergers, who may go on to do even greater

things than myself. After all, to know that 850,000 children in the United

States who live with Aspergers/autism will one day be adults in the next 10-15

years (and I have an opportunity to make a difference for a few of those

people). Thankful that I have discovered what my legacy in life is (Greater

Chattanooga Aspies). It's all about doing the very best I can. I know it's not

easy sometimes, but I do my best - and that is all I can expect for me. After

all, being unemployed for seven months has been very difficult for me, and I am

well aware of the statistics regarding autism and unemployment. Yet, I choose

to be thankful and grateful, regardless, for what I do have.

I think if more people in general and couples in relationships chose to become

more thankful and grateful for the things they do have and *not* the things they

do not have that things could be different in people's lives. Learning to

cultivate thankfulness and gratefulness is not easy if that is something you or

anyone else is not used to doing. But it is possible.

My recommendation - jot down three things every day that you are thankful and

grateful for in your life. Might be difficult at first to do, but it will

become easier the more you do this. Take it one day at a time, and watch what

happens not only to you but to those close to you. They may wonder, " What got

into him or why is he so much different than he once was? "

Hope this helps,

/officially dx'd with AS in 2007

> Hi

>

> Your own reply here is very positive. Do you have any advice on how you have

managed to make the changes that you describe? I am more than willing to change

but my efforts to engage with those closest to me consistently fail and good

intentions always turn to mush. I continue to miss the blindingly obvious.

>

> The odd thing is that outside my family, I don't do a bad job at coming across

as NS. At work I manage a large team and I am even thought of as good with

people, probably because I go out of my way to try to understand each of my team

members' perspectives. I am a walking disaster at home. My wife certainly fits

the description of Cassandra and it has been my fault over 25 years of marriage.

>

> I do not have access to any professional help and I will get no help from my

family, who see my AS as my problem for me to fix. So I am on my own, in the

dark and searching for that light switch.

>

> Steve

>