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Re: Re: Carol/Sandie

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Maybe it's like when you need to change your password, so others don't catch

onto the code. Maybe Vanna White is the Yahoo Screener. I think it is: How do

you spell Mississippi? Mi, Crooked letter, crooked letter, i, crooked letter,

crooked letter, i, hump back, hump back, i

adhd5464 wrote: But the codes keep changing!

i have seen AA's and II's, and so it must be a " buy a vowel " thing.

> > > >

> > > > Dear Imogene-

> > > >

> > > > Wanting so badly to reach through the computer and give you a

> big

> > > hug.

> > > >

> > > > Thank you for sharing this letter with us. This truly paints a

> > > vivid

> > > > picture.

> > > >

> > > > Love and lots of hugs-

> > > >

> > > > Sandie

> > > >

> > > > ÃÆ'¯Â»Â¿Des Moines, IA

> > > > dad, Merle, passed away from LBD 9-20-02, age 65

> > > > mum, Jo, (MIL) passed away from LBD 4-29-07, age 78

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > -- Letter I wrote to my children. All

> about

> > > our lives

> > > > as of now

> > > >

> > > > Hi, all o' y'all young'uns,

> > > >

> > > > Don't you wish? Being young is so nice. I do hope all of you

> had a

> > > > very good time off from you respective jobs and/or school.

But,

> > most

> > > > of all I hope all of you are well. Please let me know if you

> > aren't.

> > > >

> > > > Of course the City had a blast here last night, but

surprisingly

> > not

> > > > around our house. I heard nothing going on. No fire crackers.

Oh

> > > yes,

> > > > I did hear a lot of extra ambulances passing with sirens

> blaring.

> > > > But, we don't even notice them, that is why I almost forgot

> them.

> > We

> > > > do kind of like being on a busy street, because it lets us

know

> > > there

> > > > are people alive and moving around out there. We actually have

> > > > something to talk about once in a while from the activity we

> seen.

> > > > It's less boring.

> > > >

> > > > Don had a blast in his room last night, from all the partying

> > going

> > > > on. He was ready to fight them. He didn't like their partying

in

> > his

> > > > room and down the hall. It was at least 4 or 5 people, (All

> > > > hallucinations.) Also he had very bad chest pain from getting

> > cold,

> > > > that is the second time this winter. Tonight is when it's

> supposed

> > > > to get really cold.

> > > >

> > > > We went to the Allergist, and she was adamant, in a nice way,

> > about

> > > > our getting this carpet out and getting filtration. She also

> told

> > me

> > > > how my allergies are affecting my lungs. She kept me and Don

in

> > the

> > > > room a long time and really talked to me. She wants to see me

> for

> > > the

> > > > third time in seven days. I told her I thought the allergies

> were

> > > > just an aggravation, and not life threatening, so I just

avoided

> > > what

> > > > I could and lived with the rest. She told me how it is

causing

> my

> > > > sleep Apnea, and high blood pressure, and how my head

allergies

> > are

> > > > going to my chest, which is ruining my lungs. It is all I can

do

> > to

> > > > keep them clean. My ability to breath is getting less with

each

> > > test.

> > > > The last test was 85, now it is 79.

> > > >

> > > > The Doctor said, " It is much harder on you than you know. "

When

> > > > allergens trigger Asthma, then that makes a far worse

situation

> > that

> > > > only adds to the Chronic Eosenophilia Pneumonia. She told

> me, " You

> > > > have severe Allergies. " I asked her to repeat what she had

said,

> > and

> > > > she said it again. Yes, Don and I both heard her. She

said, " It

> > will

> > > > exhaust you, and leave you feeling drained. " No kidding, as

if I

> > > > didn't know that already.

> > > >

> > > > It is all I can do to get us to doctors, and pick up drugs.

> Thrift

> > > > store shopping is out. And we loved browsing in them. But, the

> > > > strength isn't there. I wonder why the lung doctors have never

> > said

> > > > anything about allergies? I certainly told them.

> > > >

> > > > Don has started to rearrange things, and has left piles of

> clothes

> > > > everywhere in his room. That is not like him. On one hand he

is

> > neat

> > > > and on the other I can see the scrambled mess of his brain.

His

> > > > drawers are so mixed up. I will say one thing, they are

> carefully

> > > > folded, but mixed, and so is his closet. He is neat in some

> areas.

> > > > His banana peels were left in the sink in a very neat stack.

> Yet,

> > > the

> > > > store room is a shambles. I made it into a nice working area,

> and

> > > > within a couple of weeks every bench top was piled as high as

it

> > > > would go. Nothing put away. Just a wreck out there. I'll

> wait 'til

> > > > the weather is right to tackle it again. It's almost beyond

me

> to

> > > > know where to put all his junk.

> > > >

> > > > Don can't do much of anything, and is also having trouble

> telling

> > > > about things of a recent nature. Old things he talks well,

but

> he

> > > > does have trouble with words a lot.

> > > > And he looses his train of thought by the slightest

distraction,

> > and

> > > > a lot with no distraction.

> > > >

> > > > I asked him to get me a wide mouth pint jar. He went to one

> place

> > > > where I keep big jars. I said, " Look in the little

> refrigerator. "

> > > (It

> > > > is not plugged in and I use it for jars). He looked and

looked,

> > and

> > > > just couldn't find one. I said, " Look under your hand. " I

turned

> > > > around to do something, then in a couple of minutes I asked

> > > > again, " Where is the pint jar? " He said, " I thought you

wanted

> me

> > to

> > > > put it away so I put it in the refrigerator. " He forgot in

mid-

> > > action

> > > > that he was getting a pint jar for me. He doesn't know up and

> down

> > > or

> > > > sideways a lot of the time. He can't follow directions, nor

> learn

> > > new

> > > > things.

> > > >

> > > > Papa Don knows he has LBD, and is aware when things happen. He

> > > > recently had a burst of anger, and hit his fist on the

> dashboard,

> > > and

> > > > cursed a bit, because I didn't stop the car fast enough. He

went

> > > into

> > > > the store to pay for the gas, (Normally I do, And have to

pump

> the

> > > > gas too, but he was angry) He worried with the pump for a

spell,

> > but

> > > > finally pumped the gas. I thought he was never going to get

the

> > > > nozzle put away. He couldn't figure out the way it has to be

> done

> > to

> > > > make the nozzle go in. I was watching in the rear view

mirror. A

> > man

> > > > behind him must have told him, because he sure told Don that

our

> > gas

> > > > tank was still open.

> > > > When Don got back in the car he said, " Honey, I sure am

sorry. "

> > > That

> > > > disposition is not him, it was LBD.

> > > >

> > > > He has been having accidents just about every day in his

> > underwear,

> > > > but it isn't serious. I do bathe him, (not all the time) and

> love

> > > the

> > > > nice shower Don B. built in for us. We have to get more round

> > > > cornered grab bars for it. Yesterday I took the shower curtain

> > back

> > > > down for the umpteenth time to install the paper trim around

the

> > top

> > > > of the shower. So far I haven't been able.

> > > >

> > > > I did get a light in the fixture in the store room. That room

> has

> > > > been dark for a week, and Don didn't do a thing about it. We

> could

> > > > hardly see by the light in the washer room. Well, it is fixed,

> > and I

> > > > didn't fall. I am proud of me. I need to stretch my arm a

little

> > > > longer, so I can pat my back a little easier, (grin)

> > > >

> > > > This year we have to get the carpet out of here. The Doctor

> > stressed

> > > > it. I will get this house cleaned like never before. Yeah,

> right!

> > > Any

> > > > day now.

> > > >

> > > > I must wash my bed clothes in scalding water at least once a

> week.

> > > > That is real playtime. I nearly stand on my head, (watch me

> stand

> > on

> > > > my head, Mama, while I bend over to make the bed, Watch me! "

I'm

> > > > laughing my silly head off) It's a king bed. I have elastic

> straps

> > > > with fasteners to hold my sheets down, and in place. I am

> studying

> > > > to get Don a twin and take his double for me. He is agreeable

to

> > > it.

> > > >

> > > > This morning when Don woke up cold he also saw someone in his

> bed

> > > > with a baby. But, it wasn't him in bed. He was up looking at

> them.

> > > It

> > > > was someone else. He told them, " Go home. " They disappeared.

> Right

> > > > now he can do that, but as he becomes sicker, he won't be

able.

> > > > Hallucinations are one of the first hallmarks of Lewy Body

> > Dementia.

> > > >

> > > > I mentioned his chest pain last night, well he said it was

VERY

> > BAD

> > > > chest pain. I don't know why he didn't ring for me. I told

him

> he

> > > > needed to come back into my bed, and I would put a heater

near

> to

> > > > keep him warm, (my room is a deep freeze) but he said " no. " He

> > said

> > > > he would cover himself better when he goes to bed. Tonight, I

> put

> > a

> > > > heater in his room. Am running the bath heater and one in the

> > hall,

> > > > so that is he gets up to potty he won't get too cold. We need

to

> > buy

> > > > two more little heaters.

> > > >

> > > > At noon I asked if Papa had fed the birds. He assured me that

he

> > > had.

> > > > I took some bread scraps out and gave them some grain. The

> bird's

> > > > water was gone. Bone dry.

> > > >

> > > > When I came in I told him that the birds hadn't been fed,

> > > > saying, " Take a look at them. Dozens of them gobbling as fast

as

> > > they

> > > > can. " He insisted he fed them because he took a bag of crumbs

to

> > > > them. I said darling there is no evidence of a bag in the

trash.

> > > >

> > > > He was angry in a flash and dumped the trash on the floor and

> > > > searched. I should never have challenged him like that. I told

> > > > him, " The bag may have been thrown in the black can outside.

> > > Darling,

> > > > I am so sorry I said anything, because you certainly know

what

> you

> > > > have done. "

> > > >

> > > > But, the truth is he did not know what he had done. There was

no

> > > > evidence of a bag anywhere. It is a trivial thing, but I know

> all

> > > too

> > > > well not to say one word that can trigger his anger, but I

did,

> > and

> > > > bit my lip too late.

> > > >

> > > > Sometimes he'll see me do something, and swear it was him

that

> did

> > > it

> > > > when I had just done it. He'll repeat what he did down the

last

> > > > detail, and it was me that did it. Go figure. Like my taking

> > crumbs

> > > > to the birds, and feeding them. He knows for sure that he did

> it.

> > > >

> > > > It does get a little hard for me to have a shadow ALL the

time.

> We

> > > go

> > > > to a store, and he is right behind me. I cook and he stands

> right

> > > > there in the way, watching.

> > > > I go to the bathroom and he comes looking for me, and the same

> > with

> > > > the laundry.

> > > > He follows me out there, and tells me he couldn't find me. No

> > matter

> > > > what I do he is watching. He is lonely, bored, and very

> insecure.

> > he

> > > > is afraid he'll loose me. I am his lifeline. He can't

entertain

> > > > himself very much anymore. It reminds me of you kids

underfoot

> all

> > > > the time, and I don't dare shut the door to the bathroom.

(those

> > > were

> > > > the good old days. Big happy smile)

> > > >

> > > > We talk right up front about all of Lewyville.

> > > >

> > > > He told me that the woman in his bed one night was going to

kiss

> > > him,

> > > > and he told her to go away. And puff, she was gone. He also

had

> a

> > > > baby in bed, and had a young man standing by his bed that was

> > > flexing

> > > > his large muscles to wrestle or fight. He always tells them

to

> go

> > > > away or go home. End of them, at least for awhile.

> > > >

> > > > It seems that he can handle it better when it is in the open

> with

> > > > someone that understands and helps carry his load. That is

why

> we

> > > are

> > > > open about it and talk.

> > > >

> > > > We can't possibly know what is in the sick person's mind and

how

> > > hard

> > > > they actually work to be with us. That is why they become

tired

> so

> > > > readily, or frustrated

> > > > and angry so quickly. We don't know what triggers it.

> > > >

> > > > We can't know how hard it must be on those that are having

these

> > > > terrible experiences, especially when others tell them they

are

> > > fine.

> > > > They want the problem validated, not told they are fine.

> > > >

> > > > I want to understand with him and for him. He does not need to

> > carry

> > > > this mental thing all by himself, and certainly not when

others

> > deny

> > > > it. " Don is just fine, he talked just fine with me, I don't

see

> > > > anything wrong. "

> > > >

> > > > That is like a Doctor telling his patients it's all in their

> head

> > > > when they are really sick, and they know something is wrong.

It

> > > > usually makes the recipient of such treatment quite angry, and

> > > > frustrated.

> > > >

> > > > Don's sleepiness in the daytime is because he works so hard

> > mentally

> > > > with things around him that he is exhausted. Our dear Papa Don

> > will

> > > > often take a nap while I fix lunch, and again for two hours

> after

> > > > lunch. I have never tried to stop his naps. He sleeps all

night

> > too.

> > > > In fact I try to guard his nap times so that he isn't

disturbed.

> > It

> > > > keeps him calm and not agitated.

> > > >

> > > > It's like a small child that is tired and needs a nap. The

child

> > > > becomes cranky and cries. A man, on the other hand, may become

> > > highly

> > > > agitated and actually try to fight.

> > > >

> > > > LBD is so unpredictable. A patient can be as sweet as pie, and

> > > > another time in a snap he can kill someone. Papa knows that

> when,

> > or

> > > > if, he gets that bad he will have to go to a lock down Nursing

> > Home.

> > > > I hope and pray the doctor can find medicine to curb that,

but

> if

> > > > Hallucinations and agitation get too bad then nothing can be

> done

> > as

> > > > of now. A lot of research is being done. LBD patients cannot

> > handle

> > > > Antipsychotic drugs.

> > > >

> > > > I really do try to remain calm, loving and gentle with Papa

Don,

> > > > because I want to keep him well as long as possible. I make a

> few

> > > > mistakes, but very few. Love and affection is good for both

of

> us.

> > > >

> > > > Hey, I am about typed out, and my eye lids are drooping, so

good

> > > > night all.

> > > > I love you with all my heart,

> > > > Mama

> > > > Added note 1-2-08

> > > > Don awoke from his nap, and was standing in the doorway to his

> > > > bedroom.

> > > > It startled me slightly to see him standing in the half dark.

I

> > > > said, " Oh you are up. "

> > > > He answered, " There is one standing right there, and right

here.

> > > They

> > > > are cowboys. " I told him I was glad he recognized that they

were

> > > > hallucinations. Of course the time will probably come when he

> > > doesn't

> > > > know. To him they are real people. He sees them clearly and

> > > > distinctly.

> > > >

> > > > Love you all on this wonderful List.

> > > > Imogene

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

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