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>>Thanks, Jeanne:

>>

>>Q: What does HMO stand for?

>>A: This is actually a variation of the phrase, 'Hey, Moe!' Its roots go

>>back to a concept pioneered by Dr. Moe , who discovered that a

>>patient could be made to forget about the pain in his foot if he was

>>poked hard enough in the eyes.

>>

>>Q: I just joined an HMO. How difficult will it be to choose the doctor I

>>want?

>>A: Just slightly more difficult than choosing your parents. Your insurer

>>will provide you with a book listing all the doctors who were

>>participating in the plan. These doctors basically fall into two

>>categories: those who are no longer accepting new patients, and those

>>who will see you but are no longer part of the plan. But don't worry,

>>the remaining doctor who is still in the plan and accepting new patients

>>has an office just a half-day's

>>drive away and that diploma from a small Caribbean Island is very fresh.

>>

>>Q: Do all diagnostic procedures require pre-certification?

>>A: No. Only those you need.

>>

>>Q: What are preexisting conditions?

>>A: This is a term used by the grammatically challenged when they want to

>>talk about existing conditions. Unfortunately, we appear to be pre-stuck

>>with it.

>>

>>Q: Can I get coverage for my preexisting conditions?

>>A: Certainly, as long as they don't require any treatment.

>>

>>Q: What happens if I want to try alternative forms of medicine?

>>A: You'll need to find alternative forms of payment.

>>

>>Q: My pharmacy plan only covers generic drugs, but I need the name

>>brand. I tried the generic medication, but it gave me a stomach ache.

>>What should I do?

>>A: Poke yourself in the eye.

>>

>>Q: What if I'm away from home and I get sick?

>>A: You really shouldn't do that.

>>

>>Q: I think I need to see a specialist, but my doctor insists he can

>>handle my problem. Can a general practitioner really perform a heart

>>transplant right in his office?

>>A: Hard to say, but considering that all you're risking is the $10

>>CO-payment, there is no harm giving him a shot at it.

>>

>>Q: Will health care be any different in the next century?

>>A: No. But if you call right now, you might get an appointment by then.

>>

>>

>>........................................................................

>>History of some common sayings that now will make sense! Thanks, Rubin.

>>

>>Way Back in the 1500's .....

>>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>>Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in

>>May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were

>>starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the

>>b.o.

>>

>>Baths equaled a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had

>>the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men,

>>then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By

>>then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence

>>the saying, " Don't throw the baby out with the bath water " .

>>

>>Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw, piled high, with no wood

>>underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the

>>pets... dogs, cats and other small animals, mice, rats, bugs lived on

>>the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals

>>would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, " It's raining cats

>>and dogs. "

>>

>>There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This

>>posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could

>>really mess up your nice clean bed. So, they found if they made beds

>>with big posts and hung a sheet over the top, it addressed that problem.

>>Hence those beautiful big 4 post beds with canopies.

>>

>>The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt,

>>hence the saying " dirt poor " . The wealthy had slate floors that would

>>get slippery in the winter when wet. So they spread thresh on the floor

>>to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more

>>thresh until when you opened the door it would all start slipping

>>outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entry way, hence a " thresh

>>hold " .

>>

>>They cooked in the kitchen in a big kettle that always hung over the

>>fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They

>>mostly ate vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew

>>for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then

>>start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had

>>been in there for a month. Hence the rhyme: " peas porridge hot, peas

>>porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old. "

>>

>>Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that

>>happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and

>>hang it to show it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man " could

>>really bring home the bacon. " They would cut off a little to share with

>>guests and would all sit around and " chew the fat. "

>>

>>Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid

>>content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food. This happened

>>most often with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes... for 400

>>years.

>>

>>Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers - a piece of

>>wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trencher were never

>>washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off

>>wormy trenchers, they would get " trench mouth. " (Tequlia can have the

>>same effect...)

>>

>>Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of

>>the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the

>> " upper crust. "

>>

>>Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would

>>sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along

>>the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They

>>were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family

>>would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would

>>wake up. Hence the custom of holding a " wake " .

>>

>>England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury

>>people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a

>>house and re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25

>>coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized

>>they had been burying people alive. So they thought they would tie a

>>string on their wrist and lead it through the coffin and up through the

>>ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the

>>graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the " graveyard

>>shift " they would know that someone was " saved by the bell " or he was a

>> " dead ringer. "

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