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NCC, From Ann Landers, 6/7/99

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You know you're a loser when -- Dial-a-Prayer hangs up on you. You get a paper cut from a get-well card. You're turned down by Cheese-of-the-Month Club. You dial a porn service, and the woman says, " Not tonight, dear. I have a headache. " You retire, and they don't give you a watch -- they just tell you what time it is.

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