Should I tell my husband that I believe he has Aspergers?

[Guest guest]

A couple of years ago, I began seeing a therapist because I was depressed and

very unhappy with my marriage. My husband went to a therapy session a couple of

times, after which the therapist told me she believed he has Aspergers. I began

reading about the condition and it was a huge revelation to me. It was my

husband. Knowing this has helped me so much to understand him. My therapist

believes that my husband should not be told that I believe he has Aspergers,

that I should just be very patient and understanding of him. She believes that

I should just work on myself, which I have been doing for the past 2 years. He

is 63 years old and we have been married 32 years and have two children. The

therapist says he would be blown away by a diagnosis at this stage of life. I am

7 years younger than he is and we both are healthy. Even though I no longer am

depressed and we are getting along better, I feel like we could have a better

marriage if we were both working on understanding each other. I long to have a

closer connection with my husband and I don't feel like he understands where I

am coming from at all. I have read two books by Maxine Aston, and she recommends

that both partners know the diagnosis. I feel deceitful hiding this information

from him. I would like to hear what others think about me gently letting him

know what I believe.