Re: rough summer

[Guest guest]

Hi, Elva, glad to hear from you.. I was wondering if everything was okay, you

hadn't been posting recently. Sorry to hear about your daughter but I

understand perfectly. One of my daughters was a real pill from the age of 13

until she went off to college. Went into sullen mode, didn't talk at all to

me and answered questions in monosyllables. Made me feel like a really bad

mom. She never lived with me again during and after college and left town

after college...we kept in touch barely. Things have gotten better recently

(but she's at the other end of the country, in Vermont and I'm in

Oregon)...we were together this summer for a family wedding and she actually

apologized for being such a pain as a teenager! (But she's 37 now)...hang in

there, in ten years you'll smile about it all. Vicki

In a message dated 00-08-31 15:34:03 EDT, you write:

<<

Hi gang,

This past summer has been one of the toughest for me ever. As if being a

diabetic isnt bad enough, I dont need any more stress, thanks! Our 17 yo

daughter moved out a month ago, and life has been both better and worse.

It's better in as much as I dont need to deal with her crankiness and sour

attitude day in and day out anymore, the tension has gone from our house.

I bet many of you think this is a horrible thing to say but it's the truth,

life was miserable here for a long time, and I hope all of us can begin

some sort of healing process. >>

[Guest guest]

Elva, having raised 5 teenagers (one girl who was more difficult than

all 4 boys put together) I sure understand what you are feeling. I

always thought that if my husband ever had the attitude my teenagers

did he would be out of here fast! Now the good thing about teenagers

is

they will get older (they can't help it) and when they get out in the

real world some of those things you warned them about will start to

play in their head (even if they don't want them too) and will help

them solve a problem or two. The best revenge for you (and awakening

for them) is when they have kids of their own. My oldest son once

told

me as I fed our youngest baby what a gross mom I was for scrapeing

the

baby food off his face and putting it back in " that he would NEVER do

that when he was a dad " . Well, the first time I saw him do that with

his daughter I reminded him....at least he had the grace to blush!

Hang

in there Elva. There are some good books on the mother/daughter

relationship that you might find helpful.

> It's better in as much as I dont need to deal with her crankiness

and sour

> attitude day in and day out anymore, the tension has gone from our

house.

> I bet many of you think this is a horrible thing to say but it's

the truth,

> life was miserable here for a long time, and I hope all of us can

begin

> some sort of healing process.