Survival Rules/Liz

[Guest guest]

I agree with Temple.

An explanation is not an excuse.

Throwing fits is *never* an acceptable response to anything, even though there may well be a very good reason. Our job as parents is to teach our kids more acceptable ways of freaking out when necessary.

Liz:

I totally share your perspective and am loving Temple's book. Temple does not buy into the fact that some with AS cannot control their emotions/temper in one setting and not another. She believes it is a choice and some with AS choose to use their AS as an excuse for bad behavior. She writes "rude behaviour has consequences and in most cases negative.

It is an instant turn off; most people dislike those who are rude.

makes people feel uncomfortable

closes down channels of communication

results in people forming quick negative opinions about you, whether or not they are valid or based on fact.

alienates you from others; it reduces the chance of further contact

is seen as individual weakness, as an inability of a person to be "in control" of his or her emotions

When people with AS tout a rigid belief that they should be allowed to act in any way they choose, exempt from the social rules that call for respect for our fellow man, they widen the chism that still exists. It perpetuates a we-versus-them mentality. "You are wrong, we are right." It also perpetuates the very negative stereotypes some of us on the spectrum work to overturn; that people with AS are stubborn, resistant to change, and unwilling to compromise. While these may be characteristics of autism spectrum disorders, to put forth the notion that these are immutable, unchangeable personality traits only further supports the "inability" of people on the spectrum." ....Temple Grandin