Re: Packing/Imogene/Jan

[Guest guest]

Hi Jan, Thank you so much for your loving support. You are something

else! I read your letters about giving Jim liquids, and medications

with a syringe, and believe you have come up with a great idea.

How large is the syringe? Is it a little ear syringe? Also, Is Jim

bedridden now?

This sure is a slow dreadful disease. Don got up as angry as a hornet

this morning. He couldn't find his keys and he was sure I had taken

them. He thought we were a team, but he is being put into a situation

of being a child, when he can't have a key, and can't open the door.

Oh mercy me! I hugged him, and said you threw your keys here. But, he

had retrieved them, so I looked in his pants pockets. He wasn't

dressed yet, so he hadn't found them. I got them out of the pocket

and gave them to him, with him watching me.

I have little pill cups that we saved from Hospital stays, and I put

one out for Don for each pill time. Don had one of those slide

dispensers so many years that he can use it. His problem is, even if

it has the day and time on he box, he swears he took them, when he is

standing there looking at the full box.

This packing is a rough situation. Don follows me everywhere, and is

in the way no matter where I turn. I get tired real easy.

I hug and kiss my darling Don several times a day and reassure him of

my love and devotion. He knows he can trust me. He is fighting this

key business because he is loosing his complete independence.

I so very much love you, Jan. My hero and teacher.

Imogene

> Hello all, I am up to my eyebrows packing. I am going to send you

a

> letter that I sent to my darling Don's Doctor, because I have no

time.

> This is some of what is going on here;

>

> Dear Dr. Schillerstrom,

>

> These are just a few things going on that I do not want to talk too

> much about when we see you next week.

>

> There will be no need for you to take time out of your very busy

life

> to answer all of my letters. This is to update you as much as I can.

>

> We are going to be closing our computer down soon, because we are

> having this carpet taken out, and having 16x16 " tile laid all over

> the house, because of my severe allergies. We are already packing

to

> get the junk out of here so that the men can move the basic

> furniture. You never know how much junk you have until you have to

> pack. You'll see how this is effecting Don further in my letter.

>

> Today, I had an Allergist appointment, and had to go to the grocery

> store, Also, the Allergist told me to go to Cosco's to get a spacer

> to use for my inhalers.

> That shot the day.

>

> I asked Don to load three boxes of his record albums. He worried

> about one thing after another. I finally helped him pack the boxes,

> and then I moved them into our store room, out the Kitchen door.

Then

> he wanted to store our radio tape player. He walked around with it,

> back and forth. I told him I was clearing a place for it, and he

> stood there wondering what he was going to do with it. I got him a

> tie to tie the cord, and he finally put it where I showed him. It

was

> harder to get him to do things than to have done it myself. Worse

> than a child, because he is a man, and demands his own way. (Of

where

> he wanted to put things)

>

> After purchasing the tile, and having gone through a long process

to

> get it, we sat that evening talking. He asked, " When we put new

> flooring in here, are we going to get the strips of vinyl that

looks

> like wood, or what?

>

> I answered, " Darling, see the tile on the floor? I specially bought

> that piece to bring home, so that you could see what we are going

to

> have. " " Oh yes, " was the reply.

>

> He gets all flustered and worries a lot when I am going to do

> anything. When I was buying the tile, and talking on the phone to a

> woman about her men laying the tile, how much it would cost etc.,

Don

> got agitated and started to walk out three different times. I kept

> telling him things were all right, and not to worry.

>

> I have decided not to ask him to do even a small job, as he is so

> confused and flustered, he starts trying to argue with me. It's

> because he doesn't understand.

> In the grocery store today, I asked him to get a can of diced

> pineapple. I said, " In front of you honey. " He is looking all

> over. " Darling right where your hand is. " I told him, and

> continued, " No, not there, your hand is almost touching it, right

in

> front of you. " He doesn't know what in front, up, down, and etc.,

> mean sometimes.

>

> But, the hard part is trying to drive when his mind is going

> somewhere else, and telling me where to go, or turn. He told me

what

> to do, and where to go a good fifty times today. One time I was by

a

> semi and making a turn with it. Don wanted me to go some where else

> right then. That is when I told him, " I'm driving this car. " I

wasn't

> ugly, but firm enough that he knew he had helped too much.

>

> I have to be careful about sounding bossy, and certainly not

> scolding. He is super sensitive, and it tears his self esteem to

> shreds. It was bad enough after two open heart surgeries, but now,

> with this mental disease it is several times harder than it used to

> be.

>

> He seems so normal, but tonight he had knocked a fan over, and

tried

> to get it set up again. I said, " Honey you can put the little stick

> on one side to balance it a little more. " He worried with pulling a

> speaker out, (I kept quiet) and then took the stick, and put the

> stick end under a corner of the speaker, not under that fan at all.

I

> changed it when he left the room. I never said a word.

>

> Today is the first time he has really been out of it. When he got

up

> he didn't know if it was day or night. He can't open the door with

> his key anymore. But, my worst worry is trying to help him realize

he

> hadn't taken his medicine yet.

>

> He ran into the office and picked up a bottle of coins and said he

> got the medicine from that bottle. Then he worried with his pockets

> and said he took the medicines from that, yet, he couldn't find the

> bottle. I had put out his little dispenser for the day last night

> after he had taken his night medication.

>

> I tried every way I could think of by noon to please take his

> medicine. He insisted he had taken it. I asked " From where? " He

told

> me, " From there. " I said, " Darling these pills I just poured right

in

> front of you came out of that spot. " I asked him to trust me, and

to

> know that the pills won't hurt him by now even if he had taken the

> morning pills. He tried to calculate the time, and decided it would

> be all right.

>

> From now on I cannot trust him to take the pills from the

dispenser.

> I will have to hand him each dose just as a nurse would do.

>

> And so it goes.

>

> Thank you for being there for us. It is comforting for me to know

we

> can rely on you.

>

> Love a bunch, and dance a Texas mile for us.

>

> Imogene Ward

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>