The Whole Point - I Think I Finally Get It!

[Guest guest]

Since I've read, 'Loving What Is' I've been absolutely stunned by Byron

and her message. On one hand, her thesis is so basic, I already

knew it on some level... my thoughts are my demons... I'm the only

problem... etc. On the other hand, it's a complete 180 from what much of

society tells me... that the right mate/ body/ circumstances will bring

me happiness... that I should stay away from mean/ selfish people...

that I have to get my myriad of needs met... and tell my mate/ friend/

child what they are so they can accomodate me.

Since reading this book, so many of the tenets of Buddhism have become

accessible and applicable to me. Christianity makes more sense. I am

fascinated and excited. And I'm finally really *feeling* something that

I've heretofore only *understood*: that making my life be about me has

only made me unhappy. That making my life about others... just letting

go of me, me, me... would probably make me a lot happier.

For example, I read the following in the Shambala Sun ('The Path Home "

by Sakyong Rinpoche, March 2008):

" If our motivation is small, we will use our day getting the " stuff " we

think will make us happy - food, clothing, and friends... We might...

expand it further to think about the karmic consequences of our actions

- but it's still about " me. " With a medium-level motivation, we're no

longer so fixated on our own happiness; the basis of our actions is

loving-kindness and compassion... With the largest motivation, we put

the happiness of others before our own. This is the motivation of the

Buddha. If we get up in the morning and the first thought that comes to

mind is, " There are so many sentient beings; even if I am the last

person on earth, I will stay here to help them, " that is a very big

view. Motivation is just an attitude, and it's free. So why not have big

motivation? "

This kind of thing normally swims past me as completely unattainable.

But now, especially seeing in action in her book and on you-tube,

it seems attainable. Or, at the very least, I get it on a gut level. He

says " With the largest motivation, we put the happiness of others before

our own " ... and the irony is that this is what actually bring US the

most happiness. I think that's what has found, and is doing. Let

yourself " die " and you will finally " live. "

All I know is I've felt more peace and joy since reading 's book

than I've ever felt before (that I can remember)! I'm so grateful that

an American woman who's a contemporary... who speaks my language... who

still wears eyeliner and earrings... figured out how to be happy, and

has communicated it to us.

[Guest guest]

is indeed an amazing women, since meeting her unexpectedly over

3 years ago, my life has changed. She told me one thing that I will

never ever forget and has been as valuable to me as any other 6 words

can.

She looked me directly in the eyes and said, " It comes when it comes,

honey " , beautiful, direct and right on target.

Nothing comes before its time and it (reality) is always and in all

ways kinder than the story we tell about it.

Everyone have a good experience today (or not).

>

> Since I've read, 'Loving What Is' I've been absolutely stunned by

Byron

> and her message. On one hand, her thesis is so basic, I

already

> knew it on some level... my thoughts are my demons... I'm the only

> problem... etc. On the other hand, it's a complete 180 from what

much of

> society tells me... that the right mate/ body/ circumstances will

bring

> me happiness... that I should stay away from mean/ selfish

people...

> that I have to get my myriad of needs met... and tell my mate/

friend/

> child what they are so they can accomodate me.

>

> Since reading this book, so many of the tenets of Buddhism have

become

> accessible and applicable to me. Christianity makes more sense. I

am

> fascinated and excited. And I'm finally really *feeling* something

that

> I've heretofore only *understood*: that making my life be about me

has

> only made me unhappy. That making my life about others... just

letting

> go of me, me, me... would probably make me a lot happier.

>

> For example, I read the following in the Shambala Sun ('The Path

Home "

> by Sakyong Rinpoche, March 2008):

>

> " If our motivation is small, we will use our day getting

the " stuff " we

> think will make us happy - food, clothing, and friends... We

might...

> expand it further to think about the karmic consequences of our

actions

> - but it's still about " me. " With a medium-level motivation, we're

no

> longer so fixated on our own happiness; the basis of our actions is

> loving-kindness and compassion... With the largest motivation, we

put

> the happiness of others before our own. This is the motivation of

the

> Buddha. If we get up in the morning and the first thought that

comes to

> mind is, " There are so many sentient beings; even if I am the last

> person on earth, I will stay here to help them, " that is a very big

> view. Motivation is just an attitude, and it's free. So why not

have big

> motivation? "

>

> This kind of thing normally swims past me as completely

unattainable.

> But now, especially seeing in action in her book and on you-

tube,

> it seems attainable. Or, at the very least, I get it on a gut

level. He

> says " With the largest motivation, we put the happiness of others

before

> our own " ... and the irony is that this is what actually bring US

the

> most happiness. I think that's what has found, and is doing.

Let

> yourself " die " and you will finally " live. "

>

> All I know is I've felt more peace and joy since reading 's

book

> than I've ever felt before (that I can remember)! I'm so grateful

that

> an American woman who's a contemporary... who speaks my language...

who

> still wears eyeliner and earrings... figured out how to be happy,

and

> has communicated it to us.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Churyl,

Sounds like you are still shifting on all of this - good stuff.

While out walking today an inquiry came to mind - a belief about my

ex-wife - 'she was/is supposed to be my soulmate' - and I got thinking

about how 'she was/is supposed to be my friend' is the same thing,

just a different concept.

The inquiry is posted here -

http://www.selfhappiness.com/2008/01/inquiry-she-wasis-supposed-to-be-my.html

With love,

Jon

[Guest guest]

It comes when it comes honey. Thanks for sharing that .

How perfect. I can hear and see saying that with a smile. It's so pure

that it could be the Golden Rule of the Work.

It comes when it comes honey.

Vivian

Re: The Whole Point - I Think I Finally Get It!

is indeed an amazing women, since meeting her unexpectedly over

3 years ago, my life has changed. She told me one thing that I will

never ever forget and has been as valuable to me as any other 6 words

can.

She looked me directly in the eyes and said, " It comes when it comes,

honey " , beautiful, direct and right on target.

Nothing comes before its time and it (reality) is always and in all

ways kinder than the story we tell about it.

Everyone have a good experience today (or not).

>

> Since I've read, 'Loving What Is' I've been absolutely stunned by

Byron

> and her message. On one hand, her thesis is so basic, I

already

> knew it on some level... my thoughts are my demons... I'm the only

> problem... etc. On the other hand, it's a complete 180 from what

much of

> society tells me... that the right mate/ body/ circumstances will

bring

> me happiness... that I should stay away from mean/ selfish

people...

> that I have to get my myriad of needs met... and tell my mate/

friend/

> child what they are so they can accomodate me.

>

> Since reading this book, so many of the tenets of Buddhism have

become

> accessible and applicable to me. Christianity makes more sense. I

am

> fascinated and excited. And I'm finally really *feeling* something

that

> I've heretofore only *understood*: that making my life be about me

has

> only made me unhappy. That making my life about others... just

letting

> go of me, me, me... would probably make me a lot happier.

>

> For example, I read the following in the Shambala Sun ('The Path

Home "

> by Sakyong Rinpoche, March 2008):

>

> " If our motivation is small, we will use our day getting

the " stuff " we

> think will make us happy - food, clothing, and friends... We

might...

> expand it further to think about the karmic consequences of our

actions

> - but it's still about " me. " With a medium-level motivation, we're

no

> longer so fixated on our own happiness; the basis of our actions is

> loving-kindness and compassion... With the largest motivation, we

put

> the happiness of others before our own. This is the motivation of

the

> Buddha. If we get up in the morning and the first thought that

comes to

> mind is, " There are so many sentient beings; even if I am the last

> person on earth, I will stay here to help them, " that is a very big

> view. Motivation is just an attitude, and it's free. So why not

have big

> motivation? "

>

> This kind of thing normally swims past me as completely

unattainable.

> But now, especially seeing in action in her book and on you-

tube,

> it seems attainable. Or, at the very least, I get it on a gut

level. He

> says " With the largest motivation, we put the happiness of others

before

> our own " ... and the irony is that this is what actually bring US

the

> most happiness. I think that's what has found, and is doing.

Let

> yourself " die " and you will finally " live. "

>

> All I know is I've felt more peace and joy since reading 's

book

> than I've ever felt before (that I can remember)! I'm so grateful

that

> an American woman who's a contemporary... who speaks my language...

who

> still wears eyeliner and earrings... figured out how to be happy,

and

> has communicated it to us.

>

[Guest guest]

i recall katie saying something like we have 600 billion

soul mates.

i agree with that turn around.. we are all soul mates.

In fact according to some there really is only one soul.

appearing at different view points..

i sort of like to think i have my own but i suppose

i love my ego so much.. still.. rh

>

> Hi Churyl,

>

> Sounds like you are still shifting on all of this - good stuff.

>

> While out walking today an inquiry came to mind - a belief about my

> ex-wife - 'she was/is supposed to be my soulmate' - and I got thinking

> about how 'she was/is supposed to be my friend' is the same thing,

> just a different concept.

>

> The inquiry is posted here -

>

http://www.selfhappiness.com/2008/01/inquiry-she-wasis-supposed-to-be-my.html

>

> With love,

>

> Jon

>

[Guest guest]

and what a beautiful, wonderful ego it is - no wonder you live it so

much - egos deserve to be loved too!

I've seen a Buddhist thing that talks about ego being seen as something

bad, to be destroyed - not helpful - or to be seen as something than can

be expanded, to include another, and another and another - to include

the entire universe - I think this what Hinduism calls 'self'

With love,

Jon x

--- Re: The Whole Point - I Think I Finally Get

It!

Date: Fri, February 01, 2008 7:56 am

To: Loving-what-is

i recall katie saying something like we have 600 billion

soul mates.

i agree with that turn around.. we are all soul mates.

In fact according to some there really is only one soul.

appearing at different view points..

i sort of like to think i have my own but i suppose

i love my ego so much.. still.. rh

[Guest guest]

> and what a beautiful, wonderful ego it is - no wonder you live it so

> much - egos deserve to be loved too!

>

> I've seen a Buddhist thing that talks about ego being seen as something

> bad, to be destroyed - not helpful - or to be seen as something than can

> be expanded, to include another, and another and another - to include

> the entire universe - I think this what Hinduism calls 'self'

>

And how would you define the ego? If you really, really look to try and find

it, what and where is it? Is it anything but the false thoughts that appear

in an endless stream? It appears as nothingness to me. A thought appears, I

investigate, it disappears. It appears, I attach, I suffer. I then say the

ego is doing this and that, but what and where is it????