Guest guest Posted January 8, 2008 Report Share Posted January 8, 2008 Hi Emma- Thank goodness this is working out with an aid coming in. You have done such hard work in getting this in place with both phone calls and the emotional side with your mom. This proves you are a very strong person. Please keep us posted. Best wishes to you and your upcoming free time. Many heartfelt hugs- Sandie Des Moines, IA dad, Merle, passed away from LBD 9-20-02, age 65 mum, Jo, (MIL) passed away from LBD 4-29-07, age 78 -- Re: When do you start thinking about a NH? Carol/June. Hi all, Sorry I haven't been responding much the last day or two. I HAVE been reading all of your posts and advice but I just didn't have anything good to say and was starting to feel like I abuse all of your niceness with my whining. ;-) We have at least a temporary solution now, after a fashion. I will be physically here 7am-3pm Sunday thru Friday and will be on-call (as usual) the rest of the time, an aid will be here 7:30am-2pm on Saturdays, and that same aid will start doing overnights 11pm-7am Sunday thru Thursday so Bob and I can sleep without one ear open. Mom and I talked about this when she came over on Sunday to snipe at me but apparently we were having 2 different conversations. When I got down to business making phone calls yesterday and got all of this set up she got angry at me again because apparently I wasn't doing what she wanted me to. I got a lot of " someone to stay FIVE nights?? Thats too expensive! Why would you do that? What about X, Y, Z??!! " All stuff we had already discussed! Yes, an aid that much is not cheap but its not like Grandma is destitute! The woman has $25,000 in ONE checking account alone! That doesn't take in her several savings accounts and all her investments. AND the more we search the more bank accounts we have found that she never told anyone about. I don't think she's a millionaire but its looking like she's damn close and there os still more coming INTO her checking account each month than is getting spent. I think we're doing ok with the money. Not that I want to spend all her money away but if thats what it takes to keep her at home like my mom is so vehement about than thats what it takes! A few hours after all this I got an email she sent to my uncles filling them in on things and of course she made it sound like it was all her idea and she did all the work to make it happen and she is SOOOOOOOOOO exhausted and stressed out. Cute how she jumps all over me initially then realizes what I did was the right thing and takes all the credit. Jan, you are right that my mother " taking care " of my step-dad doesn't involve all that much actual care. The only " more work " than usual factor with him is that he is on a low bacteria diet so they have to get a little creative with the grocery shopping and he can't eat leftovers if they've been around more than 24 hours so there has to be a " real " cooked dinner every night. Otherwise he is pretty capable of taking care of himself and except for a minor bit of " chemo-brain " he is mentally very capable. Mostly that just seems to effect his reading. He can't focus enough to read a book so he watches a lot of TV instead. He also can't leave the house to go out into the big germy world just yet. So mostly her care of him is just her worrying. I need to get over my own need to protect her. She doesn't handle emotional stress well and starts doing stupid things (like drinking) when she has too much to deal with. Thats why I am where I am. Having had to " take care " of alcoholic parents when I was young turned me into the caregiver I am and I can't seem to shake that role when it comes to her. And now she expects it of me. Sorry I don't have more good things to say. I'm so glad that I can keep telling all of you all of this and I know you don't think I'm exaggerating or being dramatic like my family seems to. I wish I could make them understand they way you all do. But I suppose the only way for me to do that would be for me to leave and MAKE them try to do what I do. ;-) Emma _____________________________________________________________________________ ______ Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile. Try it now. http://mobile.yahoo.com/ _ylt=Ahu06i62sR8HDtDypao8Wcj9tAcJ Welcome to LBDcaregivers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.