New member with ? on children & violence

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I am new to the group and have been doing the Work a while now. I

have three young children and am struggling with some serious issues

I can't seem to resolve. I really need some advice.

My husband and I currently raise our children using nonviolent

practices; however, we weren't always so peaceful. We raised our

first 2 children using all sorts of culturally acceptable methods of

violence (i.e. spanking, shaming, threatening etc...).

I understand that just because I have adopt nonviolent practices,

doesn't mean my kids will. I struggle with my son (oldest) hitting,

threatening, teasing his younger siblings. I completely get why he

behaves like he does, I just don't know how to help my younger

siblings feel safe in our home.

I have come to a place where I can be fully present with my son. I

can love and accept him as is. I just have sadness and confusion

over how his behavior affects my younger children. I do not love

what is right now-and I can't figure out if I'm doing something

wrong here.

Does anyone have any advice on children? I am trying to get my

younger children to understand that my son is hurting, that's why he

acts out like he does. The younger kids don't care though. They

don't get it because they are hurting too. They just want their

brother to love and play with them.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.

Thanks,