Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, security, and a man to look after me and give me all of that. so i'm guessing that i need to question I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, Of course you should want love from yourself. He will either give it or not. You know for sure you will have love from yourself. I should love him. I shouldn't want affection Get a puppy (you have a much better chance) LOL just kidding; same as above. Lay in a bath tub, get a vibrator, make tea/coffee and get a book. Be affectionate with yourself. You know much better how you like it. I should be affectionate with him I shouldn't want security. Provide security to yourself. You may never need it to do it yourself but again if he doesn't give it you already have it so you can't believe any lack. I should make him feel secure. Can any of these sound more true or truer that you should not want them? _____ From: Loving-what-is [mailto:Loving-what-is ] On Behalf Of pip Sent: Wednesday, February 06, 2008 3:21 PM To: Loving-what-is Subject: agendas my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, security, and a man to look after me and give me all of that. so i'm guessing that i need to question I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, I shouldn't want affection, I shouldn't want security. any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? xxpipxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Byron once wrote that, if she had a prayer (which she hasn't), it would be " God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. Amen " . You've written what you want, which is a brilliant start. Maybe look at the idea that you want someone else ( " a man " ) to look after you and give you " all of that " . If you have all that, what would that mean? In other words, what is it that you think affection, security, looking after, etc. from a man, will give to you that you cannot give to yourself? You should want exactly what you do want, right now, until you don't. Good work. Love agendas my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, security, and a man to look after me and give me all of that. so i'm guessing that i need to question I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, I shouldn't want affection, I shouldn't want security. any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? xxpipxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Hi Pip, I would get specific about what I want and from whom, e.g. I want shalimar to love me, I want a man to look after me. For security, get specific about what that would look like. I would then question these statements - and for me, under question 2 I ask " Can I absolutely know that I would be happier right now if I got what I want? " With love, Jon --- agendas Date: Wed, February 06, 2008 9:20 pm To: Loving-what-is my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, security, and a man to look after me and give me all of that. so i'm guessing that i need to question I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, I shouldn't want affection, I shouldn't want security. any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? xxpipxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 > I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, > I shouldn't want affection, > I shouldn't want security. What is the reality of the situation? Sounds like you do want love, affection, and security. So saying you shouldn't want love, affection, and security when you actually do is just another argument with reality. Another way to phrase your beliefs in 'should' form could look like this: *Shalimar should be the one to provide me with love, affection, and security. or *My sense of love, affection, and security should come from a man/Shalimar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 how about questioning that you need these things from him at all??? pip wrote: my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, security, and a man to look after me and give me all of that. so i'm guessing that i need to question I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, I shouldn't want affection, I shouldn't want security. any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? xxpipxx --------------------------------- Instant message from any web browser! Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger for the Web BETA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Thanks , yes I know that prayer! And where i'm at with this is that i've been doing the work around needing his love and approval and although I know he's not going to give me what it is I really need, I'm still there looking for it, I'm still using my old tactics to try and get it and so to believe i should be somewhere i'm not is painful and i'm trying to make friends with the me right now, i still look for his approval and his love, and i'm trying not to evolve myself beyond where i am . And thank you for your feedback i will continue to question what I think this will give me xxpipxx > > Byron once wrote that, if she had a prayer (which she hasn't), it > would be " God, spare me from the desire for love, approval, or appreciation. > Amen " . > > You've written what you want, which is a brilliant start. Maybe look at the > idea that you want someone else ( " a man " ) to look after you and give you > " all of that " . If you have all that, what would that mean? In other words, > what is it that you think affection, security, looking after, etc. from a > man, will give to you that you cannot give to yourself? > > You should want exactly what you do want, right now, until you don't. > > Good work. > > Love > > > > agendas > > > > my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, > security, and a man to > look after me and give me all of that. > so i'm guessing that i need to question > I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, > I shouldn't want affection, > I shouldn't want security. > any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? > xxpipxx > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 thanks yes maybe i need to be getting more specific xxpipxx > > Hi Pip, > > I would get specific about what I want and from whom, e.g. I want > shalimar to love me, I want a man to look after me. For security, get > specific about what that would look like. > > I would then question these statements - and for me, under question 2 I > ask " Can I absolutely know that I would be happier right now if I got > what I want? " > > With love, > > Jon > > --- agendas > > Date: Wed, February 06, 2008 9:20 pm > To: Loving-what-is > > > my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, > security, and a man to > look after me and give me all of that. > so i'm guessing that i need to question > I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, > I shouldn't want affection, > I shouldn't want security. > any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? > xxpipxx > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 absolutely, The beliefs i shouldn' want love, affection and security came from the belief i shouldn't have an agenda and i wanted to clearer about what my agenda is, what does my agenda constitute? so to do the work on these statements would lead me to the turnarounds that i should want love, approval etc because this is where i'm at right now ..and thank you fo these other options of how i can question these should thoughts . i'll sit with them later xxpipxx -- In Loving-what-is , " Hypegia Phoebe " wrote: > > > I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, > > I shouldn't want affection, > > I shouldn't want security. > > What is the reality of the situation? Sounds like you do want love, > affection, and security. So saying you shouldn't want love, affection, > and security when you actually do is just another argument with reality. > > Another way to phrase your beliefs in 'should' form could look like this: > > *Shalimar should be the one to provide me with love, affection, and > security. > > or > > *My sense of love, affection, and security should come from a > man/Shalimar. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 Yep been doing that and here they are again, getting weaker by the moment and still here ... my agenda is that i want to feel loved, looked after, i want affection, security, and a man to > look after me and give me all of that. > so i'm guessing that i need to question > I shouldn't want love, I shouldn't want shalimar to look after me, > I shouldn't want affection, > I shouldn't want security. > any thoughts on abtter way of questioning this ?? > xxpipxx > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Instant message from any web browser! Try the new Yahoo! Canada Messenger for the Web BETA > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 > > absolutely, The beliefs i shouldn' want love, affection and security came from the belief i > shouldn't have an agenda and i wanted to clearer about what my agenda is, what does my > agenda constitute? > Your agenda sounds like you innocently and simply want love in a particular way from a particular source. Can you get it in the way you want and from the source from which you want it? I would assume that since you are writing on this forum that this situation of wanting love from a man, namely Shalimar, is causing you stress. So you must not be getting what you want? > so to do the work on these statements would lead me to the turnarounds that i should > want love, approval etc because this is where i'm at right now .. This confuses me because I guess I don't understand if you already know where you are why would you need contradictory statements to turnaround to remind you? > and thank you fo these > other options of how i can question these should thoughts . > i'll sit with them later > xxpipxx > Your welcome. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 ? > > > > Your agenda sounds like you innocently and simply want love in a > particular way from a particular source. Can you get it in the way you > want and from the source from which you want it? I would assume that > since you are writing on this forum that this situation of wanting > love from a man, namely Shalimar, is causing you stress. So you must > not be getting what you want? THAT'S TRUE HE'S NOT > > > so to do the work on these statements would lead me to the > turnarounds that i should > > want love, approval etc because this is where i'm at right now .. > > This confuses me because I guess I don't understand if you already > know where you are why would you need contradictory statements to > turnaround to remind you? BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY JUST BECOME AWARE OF THIS AND TAKING THE THOUGHT AND INQUIRING FURTHER INTO IT HELPS ME SEE IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER UNDERLYING BELIEFS THERE. FOR EXAMPLE I JUST POSTED THAT HAVING AN AGENDA IS WRONG AND I HAVE BELIEVED THIS FOR A LONG TIME HENCE ALTHOUGH I HAVE NOW BECOME AWARE OF THIS, IT HELPS ME TO LOOK AT IT FROM DIFFERENT ANGLES SO THAT MY TRICKY MIND GETS IT AS I HAVE A TENDANCY OF GETTING SOMETHING AND THEN FORGETTING IT AGAIN VERY QUICKLY SO MY INQUIRY TAKES ME DEEPER INTO WHY, HOW , WHERE THIS THOUGHT CAME FROM AND WHY I'VE BEEN SO ASHAMED BY IT AND GIVES ME OTHER UNDERLYING BLIEFS TO WORK ON. PLUS i WAS ASKED IN ANOTHER POST WHAT MY AGENDA MEANT TO ME SO I FELT THAT DOING THE WORK ON THE SPECIFICS MIGHT HELP ME SEE MORE. HOPE THAT HELPS EXPLAIN HOW THIS MIND WORKS PIPXXX > > and thank you fo these > > other options of how i can question these should thoughts . > > i'll sit with them later > > xxpipxx > > > > Your welcome. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 6, 2008 Report Share Posted February 6, 2008 > > > ? > > > > > > > Your agenda sounds like you innocently and simply want love in a > > particular way from a particular source. Can you get it in the way you > > want and from the source from which you want it? I would assume that > > since you are writing on this forum that this situation of wanting > > love from a man, namely Shalimar, is causing you stress. So you must > > not be getting what you want? > THAT'S TRUE HE'S NOT > > > > > so to do the work on these statements would lead me to the > > turnarounds that i should > > > want love, approval etc because this is where i'm at right now .. > > > > This confuses me because I guess I don't understand if you already > > know where you are why would you need contradictory statements to > > turnaround to remind you? > BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY JUST BECOME AWARE OF THIS AND TAKING THE THOUGHT AND > INQUIRING FURTHER INTO IT HELPS ME SEE IF THERE ARE ANY OTHER UNDERLYING BELIEFS > THERE. > FOR EXAMPLE I JUST POSTED THAT HAVING AN AGENDA IS WRONG > AND I HAVE BELIEVED THIS FOR A LONG TIME HENCE ALTHOUGH I HAVE NOW BECOME > AWARE OF THIS, IT HELPS ME TO LOOK AT IT FROM DIFFERENT ANGLES SO THAT MY > TRICKY MIND GETS IT AS I HAVE A TENDANCY OF GETTING SOMETHING AND THEN > FORGETTING IT AGAIN VERY QUICKLY SO MY INQUIRY TAKES ME DEEPER INTO WHY, HOW , > WHERE THIS THOUGHT CAME FROM AND WHY I'VE BEEN SO ASHAMED BY IT AND GIVES ME > OTHER UNDERLYING BLIEFS TO WORK ON. > PLUS i WAS ASKED IN ANOTHER POST WHAT MY AGENDA MEANT TO ME SO I FELT THAT > DOING THE WORK ON THE SPECIFICS MIGHT HELP ME SEE MORE. > HOPE THAT HELPS EXPLAIN HOW THIS MIND WORKS > PIPXXX > > Thanks for the clarifications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.