Re: Inquiry - Unread Books Guilt

[Guest guest]

Hi Jeff,

Congrats on putting out your first inquiry to the group! Being new as

well I understand the initial challenge of identifying the root

thoughts/beliefs but you did a fantastic job in putting it all out

there.

I look forward to hearing what our panel of knowledgeable fellow

members have to share. By the way....you've got mail! :-)

Take good care,

>

> I'm not good at structuring this stuff yet, but I figured I'd start

> with something small.

>

>

> (thoughts while trying to enjoy reading a book tonight)

>

> " This is just the first of a whole pile of books I need to read. "

> " My spare time is so finite, I'm just trading minutes for pages. Even

> my so-called downtime becomes a series of mini to-do's. "

> " I don't have enough time . . . to truly enjoy anything. "

> " I don't have enough time . . . to do everything I want to do. "

> " I need to finish every book I buy. "

>

> Earlier, staring at a Madeleine L'Engle boxed set at the bookstore, I

> realized that what I wished I could buy was not just the boxed set,

> but the time (the quality/relaxed time, like being on vacation) to

> enjoy reading it without being aware of the minutes ticking by. To

> lose myself in something like I used to do so easily as a kid. I have

> a wife and a fifteen-month-old daughter and another baby on the way in

> April. Having become the sole provider for my family, it feels

> sometimes like I'm on a treadmill, although I love my family.

>

> Hmm, I don't know how to phrase all these thoughts properly for the

> Work. I think there might be layers and layers. Maybe I'll pick the

> easiest one on the list and start with it. Back to books.

>

> " I should finish every book I begin reading. (A book unfinished just

> represents a minor failure, and wasted time and money.) "

>

> Is it true? It feels true. Isn't persistence / stick-to-itiveness a

> good thing? Plus, I only have a finite amount of yearly reading time.

>

> Can I know that it's true? (grudging) No. Maybe I'd get more

> enjoyment out of a book I haven't bought yet than one I started a

> month ago and am stuck on.

>

> Who would I be? Definitely a less self-critical, go-with-the-flow

> person, less tied to books that I impulse-bought three weeks before.

>

> Turnaround: I should _not_ finish every book I buy and start reading.

> The 80/20 rule applies - sometimes you get 80% of the value of the

> book from reading the first 20%, especially with nonfiction. Also,

> the money aspect doesn't matter: books are important enough to me that

> I'd be happy to spend five times the amount I spend on them in a year,

> and money is just a means to an end, a fuel for your life that ought

> to proportionately reflect your values.

>

> OK. Sort of a trivial one to start with, but I did realize tonight

> that this thought (even though I know it's silly and superficial) was

> causing me to berate myself.

>

> Jeff

>

> (It seems like half the art of this is in properly identifying the

> true root thought - and articulating it well enough to really shine a

> light on it.)

>

[Guest guest]

I can relate to so much of what you said about books.

So many delicious, yummy books...so little time.

I haven't done the work on any thoughts about my books and lack of

time, and similar issues...but surprisingly have started to

automatically start letting go of many unread and partially read books

since I've started doing the work. I realize I don't need many of

them after all anymore. And that way I enjoy the ones I do keep even

more.

I agree that doing the work on what comes to mind is just fine...it is

the right thing to be working on even if it seems " small " or an " easy

one " or " trivial. " How do I know the thought you worked on was the

right one? Because it's the one you chose.

Actually, I had one thing I worked on that had seemed like a small

thing at first, but by the time I finished I realized it had been a

big deal for me after all. Other times undoing a " small thought " was

just what I needed to be able to access the " bigger thought " just

below it. But even when that is not the case I can feel good about

the thought I chose to work on, because that is loving what is.

>

> I'm not good at structuring this stuff yet, but I figured I'd start

> with something small.

>

>

> (thoughts while trying to enjoy reading a book tonight)

>

> " This is just the first of a whole pile of books I need to read. "

> " My spare time is so finite, I'm just trading minutes for pages. Even

> my so-called downtime becomes a series of mini to-do's. "

> " I don't have enough time . . . to truly enjoy anything. "

> " I don't have enough time . . . to do everything I want to do. "

> " I need to finish every book I buy. "

>

> Earlier, staring at a Madeleine L'Engle boxed set at the bookstore, I

> realized that what I wished I could buy was not just the boxed set,

> but the time (the quality/relaxed time, like being on vacation) to

> enjoy reading it without being aware of the minutes ticking by. To

> lose myself in something like I used to do so easily as a kid. I have

> a wife and a fifteen-month-old daughter and another baby on the way in

> April. Having become the sole provider for my family, it feels

> sometimes like I'm on a treadmill, although I love my family.

>

> Hmm, I don't know how to phrase all these thoughts properly for the

> Work. I think there might be layers and layers. Maybe I'll pick the

> easiest one on the list and start with it. Back to books.

>

> " I should finish every book I begin reading. (A book unfinished just

> represents a minor failure, and wasted time and money.) "

>

> Is it true? It feels true. Isn't persistence / stick-to-itiveness a

> good thing? Plus, I only have a finite amount of yearly reading time.

>

> Can I know that it's true? (grudging) No. Maybe I'd get more

> enjoyment out of a book I haven't bought yet than one I started a

> month ago and am stuck on.

>

> Who would I be? Definitely a less self-critical, go-with-the-flow

> person, less tied to books that I impulse-bought three weeks before.

>

> Turnaround: I should _not_ finish every book I buy and start reading.

> The 80/20 rule applies - sometimes you get 80% of the value of the

> book from reading the first 20%, especially with nonfiction. Also,

> the money aspect doesn't matter: books are important enough to me that

> I'd be happy to spend five times the amount I spend on them in a year,

> and money is just a means to an end, a fuel for your life that ought

> to proportionately reflect your values.

>

> OK. Sort of a trivial one to start with, but I did realize tonight

> that this thought (even though I know it's silly and superficial) was

> causing me to berate myself.

>

> Jeff

>

> (It seems like half the art of this is in properly identifying the

> true root thought - and articulating it well enough to really shine a

> light on it.)

>

[Guest guest]

nice start jeff. and what i have come to see is that the most trivial-seeming

thoughts can lead to very important insights when i use inquiry. any thought

that causes stress and kicks us out of heaven (reality) is worth questioning.

thanks for sharing this.

Jeff Benson wrote: I'm not good at structuring

this stuff yet, but I figured I'd start

with something small.

(thoughts while trying to enjoy reading a book tonight)

" This is just the first of a whole pile of books I need to read. "

" My spare time is so finite, I'm just trading minutes for pages. Even

my so-called downtime becomes a series of mini to-do's. "

" I don't have enough time . . . to truly enjoy anything. "

" I don't have enough time . . . to do everything I want to do. "

" I need to finish every book I buy. "

Earlier, staring at a Madeleine L'Engle boxed set at the bookstore, I

realized that what I wished I could buy was not just the boxed set,

but the time (the quality/relaxed time, like being on vacation) to

enjoy reading it without being aware of the minutes ticking by. To

lose myself in something like I used to do so easily as a kid. I have

a wife and a fifteen-month-old daughter and another baby on the way in

April. Having become the sole provider for my family, it feels

sometimes like I'm on a treadmill, although I love my family.

Hmm, I don't know how to phrase all these thoughts properly for the

Work. I think there might be layers and layers. Maybe I'll pick the

easiest one on the list and start with it. Back to books.

" I should finish every book I begin reading. (A book unfinished just

represents a minor failure, and wasted time and money.) "

Is it true? It feels true. Isn't persistence / stick-to-itiveness a

good thing? Plus, I only have a finite amount of yearly reading time.

Can I know that it's true? (grudging) No. Maybe I'd get more

enjoyment out of a book I haven't bought yet than one I started a

month ago and am stuck on.

Who would I be? Definitely a less self-critical, go-with-the-flow

person, less tied to books that I impulse-bought three weeks before.

Turnaround: I should _not_ finish every book I buy and start reading.

The 80/20 rule applies - sometimes you get 80% of the value of the

book from reading the first 20%, especially with nonfiction. Also,

the money aspect doesn't matter: books are important enough to me that

I'd be happy to spend five times the amount I spend on them in a year,

and money is just a means to an end, a fuel for your life that ought

to proportionately reflect your values.

OK. Sort of a trivial one to start with, but I did realize tonight

that this thought (even though I know it's silly and superficial) was

causing me to berate myself.

Jeff

(It seems like half the art of this is in properly identifying the

true root thought - and articulating it well enough to really shine a

light on it.)

---------------------------------

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