Re: OOopsie - Diagnosis for me

[Guest guest]

Thanks Helen, Always wise as ever! I do need to look after myself more, and I

am starting by trying to get my bodyclock etc (circadian rhythm) back in order,

which includes being nice to myself and having a routine. I am so very bad at

routines. I am a black hole to them and actively, if inadvertently, unravel

routines!

I really like this paragraph, although all of your post spoke volumes to me!

> I have friends who, once dx'd and able to manage their conditions, do return

to work and have a full life. A *huge* part of that is (drum roll please)

learning to take care of yourself so that you don't become exhausted, and crash

again. My friends all had the tendency (as don't many of us with complicated

family of origins) to not pace themselves, and to give and give and give when

they had energy to give. And then they would crash and burn. And when they felt

better again then they felt they had to try to " catch up " as if to atone for

" lost time. "

>

> One thing they had to learn was to love themselves for who and what they are,

and not what they can do for others. Something we all have to learn.

Loving myself is a challenge, but I do feel much more friendly to myself and am

even beginning to nurture/mother myself, silly little things like using

moisturiser after a shower, and all that sort of thing! Oh, and trying to eat

fruit!! Although that one doesn't always work! I can defo say I am Liking

myself more.

cyber hugs back!

[Guest guest]

Thank you , what a lovely warm response. Really reassuring. I will ask Jon

about his thoughts, and see what he thinks.

Thank you again.

>

> > ..... Can anyone think of ways that I might be good for him, as I am

feeling like a big fat leech at the moment, just taking from him, and I need

some ideas of how I help him. One thing is that I do bring new and interesting

experiences into his life, which he would never do on his own, from buying a

house, to owning dogs, and horseriding, among a few things....

>

> You've partly answered your own question there because we Aspies, left

> to our own devices all on our own, take life far too seriously and get

> ourselves stuck in deeply focussed activities such that we lose sight of

> the ordinary world we've to live in. We become withdrawn and often

> introvert, unable to participate in the community and form our own

> friendships.

>

> Sounds to me like you're the perfect antidote for someone with Aspie

> issues.

>

> And then there's another thing: If Jon is keeping you on the rails and

> he knows he's doing that, then you're giving him a sense of purpose in

> his life.

>

> Why don't you try asking him what use he thinks you are to him? See if

> he comes up with any of the same answers as me! But don't expect

> answers immediately on the spot. Give him time to think about it for a

> while.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks CJ,

I am aware of getting hooked on the highs, but to be honest I am so obsessed

with having a calm life, that the highs will have to go! I do like them, but I

don't like the damage they leave in their wake. I have achieved quite amazing

things in my highs, so I am trying to look into damage limitation and risk

management, so that perhaps I can harness some of the power, energy and

creativeness, whilst also not letting it go to far.

I have a good psych on private healthcare, and she is the one who gave me the

diagnosis. I went to her as I was unhappy that the NHS just seemed to want to

pump me with drugs, to treat the problems rather than look at the reason and any

type of diagnosis. PRoblem being that some antidepressants are very bad for

Bipolar folk, so just treating the depression is no good, as it can trigger

mania, in my case it triggered 2.5yrs of mania and mixed episodes (kind of like

depression on speed!). I could see in 5yrs time I would be a zombie, pumped

with drugs and completely unable to work. So glad we went private, I can see I

will be getting my life back! I am actually really happy to be Bpolar and quite

proud, as it means I wasn't failing because I wasn't getting better. I was

thinking it was something I was doing wrong! But it turns out I have dodgy

wiring and just need to approach it from different angle!

>

> > Hallo, been knocking around here for a while. So, in the last month, had

diagnosis for my own mental health problems. I am Bipolar type II. It all

makes perfect sense and it's helpful as I am now able to research how to manage

the condition.

> >

> > It's scary but not impossible.

>

>

> I agree, Becky. Read everything that you can get your hands on. And

> find a good psychiatrist who is well-versed in treating bipolar disorder.

>

> My late husband also suffered from Bipolar II. Like many bipolar folks,

> he got addicted to his manic periods, as they provided such rushes of

> energy and (perceived) productivity. Definitely an issue to watch for

> as you begin this journey.

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>

> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>

> " We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we

> created them. " ~~ Albert Einstein

>

[Guest guest]

Also, forgot to mention, I am hard on myself due to low self esteem and a very

high internal locus of control - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Locus_of_control

Basically I believe everything is my fault. I have been working on this for

years without much success....but now it may work in my favour in managing the

Bipolar. Because I now beleive that I can control the condition to a large

extent, and basically it's down to what I do which will determine how bad the

extremes get. So if I am careful, I can have a more comfortable life. It also

works with feeling very responsible about staying on the meds regularly, not

because I think their the only solution, but because they mean that I can engage

with the other solutions. Believe it or not, I am quite excited by it all, but

have to be careful I don't send myself manic by getting all over stimulated!

Lots of mindfulness and meditation!

Liking the 'Non-spectrum' term a lot! So it's AS and NS - that works for me!

>

> Becky,

> I'm glad that you finally have some answers for your anxiety, etc. but I found

you were being very hard on yourself in this post. I don't know if that's

because suddenly having a mental health label now makes you feel that the ball

is back in *your* court or the mental health professional made you feel that

way.

>

> In all your posts you have always taken responsibility for what is yours to

own, and you are very empathetic and respectful towards your husbands in your

posts, as you are towards all Aspies! Banish your negative judgement about

yourself, please!

>

> Each of us is a little bit (or a lot) of *something* you know! Here is no such

thing as " neurotypical " which is why I like the term " non spectrum " that was

coined on ASPIRES by Meyer. We are all given something that challenges us

... no one is immune.

>

> I love bipolar folks, you all are so enthusiastic, creative, warm, generous,

funny, inspiring, you have a real " spark " and lifts me up. My best friends are

bipolar.

>

> Yes, there are the highs and lows, maybe someday science will discover and

resolve whatever it is that causes this neurological wiring to sometimes tip

into being a liability, but at least today the meds aren't so horrible. I

suspect that a lot of times, the key is good self care, taking care of body,

soul and brain!

>

> I have friends who, once dx'd and able to manage their conditions, do return

to work and have a full life. A *huge* part of that is (drum roll please)

learning to take care of yourself so that you don't become exhausted, and crash

again. My friends all had the tendency (as don't many of us with complicated

family of origins) to not pace themselves, and to give and give and give when

they had energy to give. And then they would crash and burn. And when they felt

better again then they felt they had to try to " catch up " as if to atone for

" lost time. "

>

> One thing they had to learn was to love themselves for who and what they are,

and not what they can do for others. Something we all have to learn.

> cyber hugs!

> Helen

>