Packing

[Guest guest]

Hello all, I am up to my eyebrows packing. I am going to send you a

letter that I sent to my darling Don's Doctor, because I have no time.

This is some of what is going on here;

Dear Dr. Schillerstrom,

These are just a few things going on that I do not want to talk too

much about when we see you next week.

There will be no need for you to take time out of your very busy life

to answer all of my letters. This is to update you as much as I can.

We are going to be closing our computer down soon, because we are

having this carpet taken out, and having 16x16 " tile laid all over

the house, because of my severe allergies. We are already packing to

get the junk out of here so that the men can move the basic

furniture. You never know how much junk you have until you have to

pack. You'll see how this is effecting Don further in my letter.

Today, I had an Allergist appointment, and had to go to the grocery

store, Also, the Allergist told me to go to Cosco's to get a spacer

to use for my inhalers.

That shot the day.

I asked Don to load three boxes of his record albums. He worried

about one thing after another. I finally helped him pack the boxes,

and then I moved them into our store room, out the Kitchen door. Then

he wanted to store our radio tape player. He walked around with it,

back and forth. I told him I was clearing a place for it, and he

stood there wondering what he was going to do with it. I got him a

tie to tie the cord, and he finally put it where I showed him. It was

harder to get him to do things than to have done it myself. Worse

than a child, because he is a man, and demands his own way. (Of where

he wanted to put things)

After purchasing the tile, and having gone through a long process to

get it, we sat that evening talking. He asked, " When we put new

flooring in here, are we going to get the strips of vinyl that looks

like wood, or what?

I answered, " Darling, see the tile on the floor? I specially bought

that piece to bring home, so that you could see what we are going to

have. " " Oh yes, " was the reply.

He gets all flustered and worries a lot when I am going to do

anything. When I was buying the tile, and talking on the phone to a

woman about her men laying the tile, how much it would cost etc., Don

got agitated and started to walk out three different times. I kept

telling him things were all right, and not to worry.

I have decided not to ask him to do even a small job, as he is so

confused and flustered, he starts trying to argue with me. It's

because he doesn't understand.

In the grocery store today, I asked him to get a can of diced

pineapple. I said, " In front of you honey. " He is looking all

over. " Darling right where your hand is. " I told him, and

continued, " No, not there, your hand is almost touching it, right in

front of you. " He doesn't know what in front, up, down, and etc.,

mean sometimes.

But, the hard part is trying to drive when his mind is going

somewhere else, and telling me where to go, or turn. He told me what

to do, and where to go a good fifty times today. One time I was by a

semi and making a turn with it. Don wanted me to go some where else

right then. That is when I told him, " I'm driving this car. " I wasn't

ugly, but firm enough that he knew he had helped too much.

I have to be careful about sounding bossy, and certainly not

scolding. He is super sensitive, and it tears his self esteem to

shreds. It was bad enough after two open heart surgeries, but now,

with this mental disease it is several times harder than it used to

be.

He seems so normal, but tonight he had knocked a fan over, and tried

to get it set up again. I said, " Honey you can put the little stick

on one side to balance it a little more. " He worried with pulling a

speaker out, (I kept quiet) and then took the stick, and put the

stick end under a corner of the speaker, not under that fan at all. I

changed it when he left the room. I never said a word.

Today is the first time he has really been out of it. When he got up

he didn't know if it was day or night. He can't open the door with

his key anymore. But, my worst worry is trying to help him realize he

hadn't taken his medicine yet.

He ran into the office and picked up a bottle of coins and said he

got the medicine from that bottle. Then he worried with his pockets

and said he took the medicines from that, yet, he couldn't find the

bottle. I had put out his little dispenser for the day last night

after he had taken his night medication.

I tried every way I could think of by noon to please take his

medicine. He insisted he had taken it. I asked " From where? " He told

me, " From there. " I said, " Darling these pills I just poured right in

front of you came out of that spot. " I asked him to trust me, and to

know that the pills won't hurt him by now even if he had taken the

morning pills. He tried to calculate the time, and decided it would

be all right.

From now on I cannot trust him to take the pills from the dispenser.

I will have to hand him each dose just as a nurse would do.

And so it goes.

Thank you for being there for us. It is comforting for me to know we

can rely on you.

Love a bunch, and dance a Texas mile for us.

Imogene Ward

[Guest guest]

Imogene - I'm so sorry for all the stress you're dealing with. Poor

Don is so confused w/ all the hustle & bustle in the household to

change the tile. But it must be done, for health reasons. He may be

thinking that instead of just changing tile that the reason for your

packing items is that you're moving. Yes, he doesn't need to hear

anyone even say the words 'moving' to be thinking this... Packing =

Moving and in his confused state he may be thinking this, and getting

upset over it. I'd continue to lighten the spirit by constantly

assuring him with " Isn't the room going to be nice with new tile,

when all this is done? " Maybe hearing that repeatedly might calm him

down a bit. Take care Imogene - you know if we could - all of us here

would be there with you to make the job get done that much faster.

Instead we'll keep you & Don in our thoughts & prayers that this gets

done ASAP! Thinking of you...

>

> Hello all, I am up to my eyebrows packing. I am going to send you a

> letter that I sent to my darling Don's Doctor, because I have no

time.

> This is some of what is going on here;

>

> Dear Dr. Schillerstrom,

>

> These are just a few things going on that I do not want to talk too

> much about when we see you next week.

>

> There will be no need for you to take time out of your very busy

life

> to answer all of my letters. This is to update you as much as I can.

>

> We are going to be closing our computer down soon, because we are

> having this carpet taken out, and having 16x16 " tile laid all over

> the house, because of my severe allergies. We are already packing

to

> get the junk out of here so that the men can move the basic

> furniture. You never know how much junk you have until you have to

> pack. You'll see how this is effecting Don further in my letter.

>

> Today, I had an Allergist appointment, and had to go to the grocery

> store, Also, the Allergist told me to go to Cosco's to get a spacer

> to use for my inhalers.

> That shot the day.

>

> I asked Don to load three boxes of his record albums. He worried

> about one thing after another. I finally helped him pack the boxes,

> and then I moved them into our store room, out the Kitchen door.

Then

> he wanted to store our radio tape player. He walked around with it,

> back and forth. I told him I was clearing a place for it, and he

> stood there wondering what he was going to do with it. I got him a

> tie to tie the cord, and he finally put it where I showed him. It

was

> harder to get him to do things than to have done it myself. Worse

> than a child, because he is a man, and demands his own way. (Of

where

> he wanted to put things)

>

> After purchasing the tile, and having gone through a long process

to

> get it, we sat that evening talking. He asked, " When we put new

> flooring in here, are we going to get the strips of vinyl that

looks

> like wood, or what?

>

> I answered, " Darling, see the tile on the floor? I specially bought

> that piece to bring home, so that you could see what we are going

to

> have. " " Oh yes, " was the reply.

>

> He gets all flustered and worries a lot when I am going to do

> anything. When I was buying the tile, and talking on the phone to a

> woman about her men laying the tile, how much it would cost etc.,

Don

> got agitated and started to walk out three different times. I kept

> telling him things were all right, and not to worry.

>

> I have decided not to ask him to do even a small job, as he is so

> confused and flustered, he starts trying to argue with me. It's

> because he doesn't understand.

> In the grocery store today, I asked him to get a can of diced

> pineapple. I said, " In front of you honey. " He is looking all

> over. " Darling right where your hand is. " I told him, and

> continued, " No, not there, your hand is almost touching it, right

in

> front of you. " He doesn't know what in front, up, down, and etc.,

> mean sometimes.

>

> But, the hard part is trying to drive when his mind is going

> somewhere else, and telling me where to go, or turn. He told me

what

> to do, and where to go a good fifty times today. One time I was by

a

> semi and making a turn with it. Don wanted me to go some where else

> right then. That is when I told him, " I'm driving this car. " I

wasn't

> ugly, but firm enough that he knew he had helped too much.

>

> I have to be careful about sounding bossy, and certainly not

> scolding. He is super sensitive, and it tears his self esteem to

> shreds. It was bad enough after two open heart surgeries, but now,

> with this mental disease it is several times harder than it used to

> be.

>

> He seems so normal, but tonight he had knocked a fan over, and

tried

> to get it set up again. I said, " Honey you can put the little stick

> on one side to balance it a little more. " He worried with pulling a

> speaker out, (I kept quiet) and then took the stick, and put the

> stick end under a corner of the speaker, not under that fan at all.

I

> changed it when he left the room. I never said a word.

>

> Today is the first time he has really been out of it. When he got

up

> he didn't know if it was day or night. He can't open the door with

> his key anymore. But, my worst worry is trying to help him realize

he

> hadn't taken his medicine yet.

>

> He ran into the office and picked up a bottle of coins and said he

> got the medicine from that bottle. Then he worried with his pockets

> and said he took the medicines from that, yet, he couldn't find the

> bottle. I had put out his little dispenser for the day last night

> after he had taken his night medication.

>

> I tried every way I could think of by noon to please take his

> medicine. He insisted he had taken it. I asked " From where? " He

told

> me, " From there. " I said, " Darling these pills I just poured right

in

> front of you came out of that spot. " I asked him to trust me, and

to

> know that the pills won't hurt him by now even if he had taken the

> morning pills. He tried to calculate the time, and decided it would

> be all right.

>

> From now on I cannot trust him to take the pills from the

dispenser.

> I will have to hand him each dose just as a nurse would do.

>

> And so it goes.

>

> Thank you for being there for us. It is comforting for me to know

we

> can rely on you.

>

> Love a bunch, and dance a Texas mile for us.

>

> Imogene Ward

>

[Guest guest]

Imogene,

It sounds like it will confusing for a bit. Hope all gets done very quickly

both for your health and Don's confusion.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Packing

Hello all, I am up to my eyebrows packing. I am going to send you a

letter that I sent to my darling Don's Doctor, because I have no time.

This is some of what is going on here;

Dear Dr. Schillerstrom,

These are just a few things going on that I do not want to talk too

much about when we see you next week.

There will be no need for you to take time out of your very busy life

to answer all of my letters. This is to update you as much as I can.

We are going to be closing our computer down soon, because we are

having this carpet taken out, and having 16x16 " tile laid all over

the house, because of my severe allergies. We are already packing to

get the junk out of here so that the men can move the basic

furniture. You never know how much junk you have until you have to

pack. You'll see how this is effecting Don further in my letter.

Today, I had an Allergist appointment, and had to go to the grocery

store, Also, the Allergist told me to go to Cosco's to get a spacer

to use for my inhalers.

That shot the day.

I asked Don to load three boxes of his record albums. He worried

about one thing after another. I finally helped him pack the boxes,

and then I moved them into our store room, out the Kitchen door. Then

he wanted to store our radio tape player. He walked around with it,

back and forth. I told him I was clearing a place for it, and he

stood there wondering what he was going to do with it. I got him a

tie to tie the cord, and he finally put it where I showed him. It was

harder to get him to do things than to have done it myself. Worse

than a child, because he is a man, and demands his own way. (Of where

he wanted to put things)

After purchasing the tile, and having gone through a long process to

get it, we sat that evening talking. He asked, " When we put new

flooring in here, are we going to get the strips of vinyl that looks

like wood, or what?

I answered, " Darling, see the tile on the floor? I specially bought

that piece to bring home, so that you could see what we are going to

have. " " Oh yes, " was the reply.

He gets all flustered and worries a lot when I am going to do

anything. When I was buying the tile, and talking on the phone to a

woman about her men laying the tile, how much it would cost etc., Don

got agitated and started to walk out three different times. I kept

telling him things were all right, and not to worry.

I have decided not to ask him to do even a small job, as he is so

confused and flustered, he starts trying to argue with me. It's

because he doesn't understand.

In the grocery store today, I asked him to get a can of diced

pineapple. I said, " In front of you honey. " He is looking all

over. " Darling right where your hand is. " I told him, and

continued, " No, not there, your hand is almost touching it, right in

front of you. " He doesn't know what in front, up, down, and etc.,

mean sometimes.

But, the hard part is trying to drive when his mind is going

somewhere else, and telling me where to go, or turn. He told me what

to do, and where to go a good fifty times today. One time I was by a

semi and making a turn with it. Don wanted me to go some where else

right then. That is when I told him, " I'm driving this car. " I wasn't

ugly, but firm enough that he knew he had helped too much.

I have to be careful about sounding bossy, and certainly not

scolding. He is super sensitive, and it tears his self esteem to

shreds. It was bad enough after two open heart surgeries, but now,

with this mental disease it is several times harder than it used to

be.

He seems so normal, but tonight he had knocked a fan over, and tried

to get it set up again. I said, " Honey you can put the little stick

on one side to balance it a little more. " He worried with pulling a

speaker out, (I kept quiet) and then took the stick, and put the

stick end under a corner of the speaker, not under that fan at all. I

changed it when he left the room. I never said a word.

Today is the first time he has really been out of it. When he got up

he didn't know if it was day or night. He can't open the door with

his key anymore. But, my worst worry is trying to help him realize he

hadn't taken his medicine yet.

He ran into the office and picked up a bottle of coins and said he

got the medicine from that bottle. Then he worried with his pockets

and said he took the medicines from that, yet, he couldn't find the

bottle. I had put out his little dispenser for the day last night

after he had taken his night medication.

I tried every way I could think of by noon to please take his

medicine. He insisted he had taken it. I asked " From where? " He told

me, " From there. " I said, " Darling these pills I just poured right in

front of you came out of that spot. " I asked him to trust me, and to

know that the pills won't hurt him by now even if he had taken the

morning pills. He tried to calculate the time, and decided it would

be all right.

From now on I cannot trust him to take the pills from the dispenser.

I will have to hand him each dose just as a nurse would do.

And so it goes.

Thank you for being there for us. It is comforting for me to know we

can rely on you.

Love a bunch, and dance a Texas mile for us.

Imogene Ward