Re: Packing/Imogene

[Guest guest]

Oh Imogene,

I hear you loud and clear. I know exactly what you are going through. Don is a

step behind Jim. That is where we were about two years ago. Jim wanted to have

some control, but couldn't handle it. Too many things going on really confused

him. We had our bathroom, kitchen and half of the livingroom done all at once

and Jim was driving the carpenter insane, because Jim wanted to be involved, but

didn't know what he was talking about and it would just confuse the carpenter

when I said one thing and Jim said another. Jim sounded like he knew what he was

doing and that confused the carpenter even more. I had to lay the law down that

the carpenter listen only to me.

Before the carpenter finished his job, he took a vacation and never came back.

LOL Thank goodness, I only paid him as he did the job and not full out. I had to

hire another guy to finish the job. So, I know darn well what you are going

through.

Jim too would forget if he took his medication or not and I got a pill

dispenser that each day has a sliding strip that opens to each pill in a box.

Jim could not figure out how to slide the strip and couldn't open it. I or his

caregiver had to give him his pills.

Jim could not open the door with keys either. When he started to get in

trouble with his balance and stepping out the door, I had a dead bolt put on the

door that can only be open or locked with a key. When I would go in the shower,

that is when he would want to escape, so I would lock the dead bolt with the key

and he could never leave and get in trouble. Of course, I had to take the

world's quickest shower, so I could get out and keep an eye on him.

Thanks for sharing your days with us. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hang in there!

Xs and Os..........Jan

Imogene Ward wrote:

Hello all, I am up to my eyebrows packing. I am going to send you a

letter that I sent to my darling Don's Doctor, because I have no time.

This is some of what is going on here;

Dear Dr. Schillerstrom,

These are just a few things going on that I do not want to talk too

much about when we see you next week.

There will be no need for you to take time out of your very busy life

to answer all of my letters. This is to update you as much as I can.

We are going to be closing our computer down soon, because we are

having this carpet taken out, and having 16x16 " tile laid all over

the house, because of my severe allergies. We are already packing to

get the junk out of here so that the men can move the basic

furniture. You never know how much junk you have until you have to

pack. You'll see how this is effecting Don further in my letter.

Today, I had an Allergist appointment, and had to go to the grocery

store, Also, the Allergist told me to go to Cosco's to get a spacer

to use for my inhalers.

That shot the day.

I asked Don to load three boxes of his record albums. He worried

about one thing after another. I finally helped him pack the boxes,

and then I moved them into our store room, out the Kitchen door. Then

he wanted to store our radio tape player. He walked around with it,

back and forth. I told him I was clearing a place for it, and he

stood there wondering what he was going to do with it. I got him a

tie to tie the cord, and he finally put it where I showed him. It was

harder to get him to do things than to have done it myself. Worse

than a child, because he is a man, and demands his own way. (Of where

he wanted to put things)

After purchasing the tile, and having gone through a long process to

get it, we sat that evening talking. He asked, " When we put new

flooring in here, are we going to get the strips of vinyl that looks

like wood, or what?

I answered, " Darling, see the tile on the floor? I specially bought

that piece to bring home, so that you could see what we are going to

have. " " Oh yes, " was the reply.

He gets all flustered and worries a lot when I am going to do

anything. When I was buying the tile, and talking on the phone to a

woman about her men laying the tile, how much it would cost etc., Don

got agitated and started to walk out three different times. I kept

telling him things were all right, and not to worry.

I have decided not to ask him to do even a small job, as he is so

confused and flustered, he starts trying to argue with me. It's

because he doesn't understand.

In the grocery store today, I asked him to get a can of diced

pineapple. I said, " In front of you honey. " He is looking all

over. " Darling right where your hand is. " I told him, and

continued, " No, not there, your hand is almost touching it, right in

front of you. " He doesn't know what in front, up, down, and etc.,

mean sometimes.

But, the hard part is trying to drive when his mind is going

somewhere else, and telling me where to go, or turn. He told me what

to do, and where to go a good fifty times today. One time I was by a

semi and making a turn with it. Don wanted me to go some where else

right then. That is when I told him, " I'm driving this car. " I wasn't

ugly, but firm enough that he knew he had helped too much.

I have to be careful about sounding bossy, and certainly not

scolding. He is super sensitive, and it tears his self esteem to

shreds. It was bad enough after two open heart surgeries, but now,

with this mental disease it is several times harder than it used to

be.

He seems so normal, but tonight he had knocked a fan over, and tried

to get it set up again. I said, " Honey you can put the little stick

on one side to balance it a little more. " He worried with pulling a

speaker out, (I kept quiet) and then took the stick, and put the

stick end under a corner of the speaker, not under that fan at all. I

changed it when he left the room. I never said a word.

Today is the first time he has really been out of it. When he got up

he didn't know if it was day or night. He can't open the door with

his key anymore. But, my worst worry is trying to help him realize he

hadn't taken his medicine yet.

He ran into the office and picked up a bottle of coins and said he

got the medicine from that bottle. Then he worried with his pockets

and said he took the medicines from that, yet, he couldn't find the

bottle. I had put out his little dispenser for the day last night

after he had taken his night medication.

I tried every way I could think of by noon to please take his

medicine. He insisted he had taken it. I asked " From where? " He told

me, " From there. " I said, " Darling these pills I just poured right in

front of you came out of that spot. " I asked him to trust me, and to

know that the pills won't hurt him by now even if he had taken the

morning pills. He tried to calculate the time, and decided it would

be all right.

From now on I cannot trust him to take the pills from the dispenser.

I will have to hand him each dose just as a nurse would do.

And so it goes.

Thank you for being there for us. It is comforting for me to know we

can rely on you.

Love a bunch, and dance a Texas mile for us.

Imogene Ward

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.