Re: Carol - For $125 per hour, we may as well all benefit!

[Guest guest]

Carol-

It all seems self explanatory to me. You took care of your dad because...he

was your dad. 'Nuff said!!

The way I see it in caring for Millie is you didn't arrange for Millie to

have LBD it was arranged and you are caring for her. Simple. And, as I

have said before, we don't necessarily consciously choose to care for our

loved ones but are chosen to do so. Millie has 3 sons (correct?) and for

some reason, a reason beyond our knowing, you are the one caring for her.

In a perfect world there wouldn't be any diseases or illnesses...life just

isn't like that. We are given hours in our day, for something and I really

don't think it is to work, for a pay check. If/when I have a friend or

family member who needs time spent with them, I spend time with them. My

hours aren't necessarily " my " hours but hours in a day given to me. And

this time given gift is a gift I can share and give away.

If I am sleep deprived today I can make it up tomorrow or another day. I

believe it is more important to take care of others and lo and behold I am

taken care of.

I cared for my dad because he was my dad. I remember telling staff at the

NH's that I realize he isn't their dad but he IS my dad and that's good

enough reason for me! I believe so many times people are robbed from

blessings and what a blessing it was for myself to give time for my dad. I

have one sibling, an older brother, and yet I cared for our dad. My dad had

2 living brothers...I was dad's caregiver. Again, there could have been

someone else taking care of my dad yet I was the one chosen to do so.

So whether this makes sense to a high paid counselor or not these are my

thoughts and my reasons for giving of my time to other people.

Thank you, Carol, for opening this up.

Many blessings to you and to Millie-

Sandie

Des Moines, IA

dad, Merle, passed away from LBD 9-20-02, age 65

mum, Jo, (MIL) passed away from LBD 4-29-07, age 78

-- For $125 per hour, we may as well all benefit!

I went to get my meds changed and they thought with all I have going on

I might benefit from some counseling.

The therapist wanted to know why I had organized my life to work full-

time and then caregive all the other hours in the day.

Now, she acted like I was crazy for doing this, and why did I think I

should do it?

I told her that if I see something that needs done and I don't do it,

what kind of a person would I be, anyway? I don't think I have two

heads, but this seemed like a foreign concept to her.

Did we all self-appoint ourselves to this?

I told her about when my dad was in the hospital that i gave him his

baths when poo ruled and they couldn't cover him at all because of the

yeast irritation from massive anti-biotics. She thought I was crazy

for not calling the nursing staff to change his sheets every time they

were soiled.

She told me caregivers don't realize the risks physically, emotionally,

and something else, we take by giving so much of ourselves. She feels

all caregivers are in danger.

I paid real money for that conversation.

Really, who would I want bathing me and taking care of me if I were in

Millie's shoes? (We take her shoes off when we bathe her, really!)

How do I teach my children what they may need to do should I be in

similar shape?

For most of us, the why is because no one else would, but why do we

think it is us, and why are we doing this?

This woman worked for Hospice for 5 years. I would think she would

have had more of a clue about caregivers.

So, why do we do this?

What issues inside of you, made you appoint yourself to chief caregiver

rather than putting your LO in a nursing home?

So, if you would like to help me articulate our collective thoughts

here, I would be grateful. She made me feel ratherdefensive about being

a caregiver.

It's my dime, if you want in here!

Carol

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

[Guest guest]

It is perfectly clear to me, as well!

I am glad we can all dialog about these things.

I will continue to ask hard emotional questions, and those who are

moved to answer, can get involved.

All of our writings make us visible, and take us way from the

daunting realities of Lewyville!

To newer members this may all seem rather stange, but as we are

fighting the disease, we are still real people, and need to reach

out and share puzzle pieces with one another. This becomes our own

Cantebury Tales of sorts, and we have stories we are sharing on the

way.

How wonderful for us!

Lunch with my aunt was wonderful! it's 80 degreees and raining here

with a cold front coming through tonight. i am hoping for a good

manatee story for tomorrow.

I'll see what comes up for difficult, soul searching questions for

the pilgrims. I don't make these up, they come to me!

Good night, gentle caregivers!

Carol

>

> Carol-

>

> It all seems self explanatory to me. You took care of your dad

because...he

> was your dad. 'Nuff said!!

>

> The way I see it in caring for Millie is you didn't arrange for

Millie to

> have LBD it was arranged and you are caring for her. Simple. And,

as I

> have said before, we don't necessarily consciously choose to care

for our

> loved ones but are chosen to do so. Millie has 3 sons (correct?)

and for

> some reason, a reason beyond our knowing, you are the one caring

for her.

>

> In a perfect world there wouldn't be any diseases or

illnesses...life just

> isn't like that. We are given hours in our day, for something and

I really

> don't think it is to work, for a pay check. If/when I have a

friend or

> family member who needs time spent with them, I spend time with

them. My

> hours aren't necessarily " my " hours but hours in a day given to

me. And

> this time given gift is a gift I can share and give away.

>

> If I am sleep deprived today I can make it up tomorrow or another

day. I

> believe it is more important to take care of others and lo and

behold I am

> taken care of.

>

> I cared for my dad because he was my dad. I remember telling staff

at the

> NH's that I realize he isn't their dad but he IS my dad and that's

good

> enough reason for me! I believe so many times people are robbed

from

> blessings and what a blessing it was for myself to give time for my

dad. I

> have one sibling, an older brother, and yet I cared for our dad.

My dad had

> 2 living brothers...I was dad's caregiver. Again, there could have

been

> someone else taking care of my dad yet I was the one chosen to do

so.

>

> So whether this makes sense to a high paid counselor or not these

are my

> thoughts and my reasons for giving of my time to other people.

>

> Thank you, Carol, for opening this up.

>

> Many blessings to you and to Millie-

>

> Sandie

>

>

>

> Des Moines, IA

> dad, Merle, passed away from LBD 9-20-02, age 65

> mum, Jo, (MIL) passed away from LBD 4-29-07, age 78

>

>

>

> -- For $125 per hour, we may as well all

benefit!

>

> I went to get my meds changed and they thought with all I have

going on

> I might benefit from some counseling.

>

> The therapist wanted to know why I had organized my life to work

full-

> time and then caregive all the other hours in the day.

>

> Now, she acted like I was crazy for doing this, and why did I think

I

> should do it?

>

> I told her that if I see something that needs done and I don't do

it,

> what kind of a person would I be, anyway? I don't think I have two

> heads, but this seemed like a foreign concept to her.

>

> Did we all self-appoint ourselves to this?

>

> I told her about when my dad was in the hospital that i gave him his

> baths when poo ruled and they couldn't cover him at all because of

the

> yeast irritation from massive anti-biotics. She thought I was crazy

> for not calling the nursing staff to change his sheets every time

they

> were soiled.

>

> She told me caregivers don't realize the risks physically,

emotionally,

> and something else, we take by giving so much of ourselves. She

feels

> all caregivers are in danger.

>

> I paid real money for that conversation.

>

> Really, who would I want bathing me and taking care of me if I were

in

> Millie's shoes? (We take her shoes off when we bathe her, really!)

>

> How do I teach my children what they may need to do should I be in

> similar shape?

>

> For most of us, the why is because no one else would, but why do we

> think it is us, and why are we doing this?

>

> This woman worked for Hospice for 5 years. I would think she would

> have had more of a clue about caregivers.

>

> So, why do we do this?

>

> What issues inside of you, made you appoint yourself to chief

caregiver

> rather than putting your LO in a nursing home?

>

> So, if you would like to help me articulate our collective thoughts

> here, I would be grateful. She made me feel ratherdefensive about

being

> a caregiver.

>

> It's my dime, if you want in here!

>

> Carol

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Welcome to LBDcaregivers.

>

>

>