Millie mystery clues! OT, but rather interesting, and revealing!

[Guest guest]

You guys are getting to know me well enough now and you know Jim is

pretty distant emotionally from his mother, and that is part of the

reason I am doing the caregiving!

Jim never talks about stuff and this morning he shared that when he

was a kid and was having asthma attacks and couldn't breathe, and

needed to go to the hospital, his mom always refused to take him, and

his Dad would have to override Millie and take him anyway!

I have been married to Jim for over 30 years, and this is the first

time I am hearing this story. What a telling story! I can certainly

undedratnd more of the dyanmics of their relationship.

Now he does all of her legal work and is the POA, but I can certainly

understand more now.

So, an upshot of LBD is that Jim is finally telling me things I

should have known 30 years ago.

I hope in his subconscious mind he doesn't think that I am aiding and

abetting the enemy. In his right mind, I know he doesn't feel that

way, but I can tell he is peeling away years of hurt, here!

So, through all of this, there is promise.

I just find it so incredible, and you are my cyber family, and I

needed to share with someone.

Carol

[Guest guest]

Carol,

It just broke my heart to learn that Millie wouldn't take Jim to the hospital

when he was having an asthma attack as a child - thank goodness his father took

action.

It also made me thing about what kind of hell Millie grow up with in order for

her to be this way.

Courage

Millie mystery clues! OT, but rather interesting, and

revealing!

You guys are getting to know me well enough now and you know Jim is

pretty distant emotionally from his mother, and that is part of the

reason I am doing the caregiving!

Jim never talks about stuff and this morning he shared that when he

was a kid and was having asthma attacks and couldn't breathe, and

needed to go to the hospital, his mom always refused to take him, and

his Dad would have to override Millie and take him anyway!

I have been married to Jim for over 30 years, and this is the first

time I am hearing this story. What a telling story! I can certainly

undedratnd more of the dyanmics of their relationship.

Now he does all of her legal work and is the POA, but I can certainly

understand more now.

So, an upshot of LBD is that Jim is finally telling me things I

should have known 30 years ago.

I hope in his subconscious mind he doesn't think that I am aiding and

abetting the enemy. In his right mind, I know he doesn't feel that

way, but I can tell he is peeling away years of hurt, here!

So, through all of this, there is promise.

I just find it so incredible, and you are my cyber family, and I

needed to share with someone.

Carol

[Guest guest]

Carol,

Isn't it AMAZING the effect that our parents actions when we were children can

have on us

SOOO many years later! Those kinds of situations can tell us so much about the

people

we love and why they act the way they do. I remember when I first found out how

badly

my boyfriend's mother (and father for that matter) treated him as a child and

how it made

a HUGE light bulb go off for me about SOOO many things that he did. And funnily

enough

it mostly explained the things he did that I found most annoying about him! His

parents

were so mean to him and made him feel so worthless that he was always in a

constant

state of thinking he'd done SOMETHING wrong. If I even considered having a

frown on my

face he would start acting like a beaten dog even if it had nothing to do with

him.

Learning those secrets in a person's past can help a lot in being more patient

with the

person when they act in a way we might see as weird or annoying.

I think my own penchant toward caregiving comes at least in part from MY parents

divorce

and alcoholism when I was very young and how I got treated then and after. In

second

grade I quickly became the " woman " of the house when my brother and I were with

my

dad, cooking the dinner, doing the laundry, and taking care of things. To the

point that

my parents started getting reports from my teachers that I wasn't getting my own

work

done at school because I was helping everyone else and making sure they got

theirs done!

You don't think about it until much later, sometimes never, but how life went

when we

were children can be seen in us in MANY MANY ways when we are older.

Quite an argument for NURTURE (or lack of it!) vs. NATURE!

Emma

>

> Carol,

>

> It just broke my heart to learn that Millie wouldn't take Jim to the hospital

when he was

having an asthma attack as a child - thank goodness his father took action.

>

> It also made me thing about what kind of hell Millie grow up with in order for

her to be

this way.

> Courage

>

> Millie mystery clues! OT, but rather interesting,

and revealing!

>

>

> You guys are getting to know me well enough now and you know Jim is

> pretty distant emotionally from his mother, and that is part of the

> reason I am doing the caregiving!

>

> Jim never talks about stuff and this morning he shared that when he

> was a kid and was having asthma attacks and couldn't breathe, and

> needed to go to the hospital, his mom always refused to take him, and

> his Dad would have to override Millie and take him anyway!

>

> I have been married to Jim for over 30 years, and this is the first

> time I am hearing this story. What a telling story! I can certainly

> undedratnd more of the dyanmics of their relationship.

>

> Now he does all of her legal work and is the POA, but I can certainly

> understand more now.

>

> So, an upshot of LBD is that Jim is finally telling me things I

> should have known 30 years ago.

>

> I hope in his subconscious mind he doesn't think that I am aiding and

> abetting the enemy. In his right mind, I know he doesn't feel that

> way, but I can tell he is peeling away years of hurt, here!

>

> So, through all of this, there is promise.

>

> I just find it so incredible, and you are my cyber family, and I

> needed to share with someone.

>

> Carol

>

>

>

>

>

>

>