RE: Cassandra

[Guest guest]

Hm, it’s been interesting to follow the thread on CADD.    It’s

not something that I toss about as a theory in the way it is defined.  But it

happens that the definition of it is still significant to me.   I see no

particular reason to dispense with the term of Cassandra altogether, just

because it isn’t officially attached to a Syndrome or mental disorder.   But I

would remark that neither of the terms Aspie or NT happens to be officially

used or determined by professionals.   Another example.  I might on occasions,

declare that I’m feeling ‘lousy’.   Such a declaration of ‘feeling lousy’ is

not like any  conceivable medical or psychiatric term.   But who cares?  Anyone

knows what I mean – within certain boundaries.   And so with the likelihood

that most folk in our community know what the term of CADD is intended to mean,

it should give some sort of indication between us insiders, of what is intended,

with the acknowledgement that there aint no such official diagnosis.

As a 76yr old, and with no less than three marriages behind me,

I claim (with absolutely no evidence now, to confirm it) that I actually used

the word Cassandra in marital relations quite a few years before Maxine or

anyone else did.    Could well be some 20 years ago.   But the way I defined it

was somewhat different.   Two of my wives were exponents of the NT tendency to

dish out ‘wise’ warnings to me quite frequently about things that I was doing,

or predictions about people who I was coming in contact with.  I described

their admonishments and advice as resembling the words of a Cassandra.   It used

to drive me up the wall, to put it mildly.  I felt bluffed by the dogmatic and

intuitive sense of an NT superiority.  I simply hated to be pressured by the

ladies to automatically take on board what they said.  Mind you, it must be

noted that the greater majority of these warnings simply didn’t come good

(unlike those of the original legendary lady who bore the name.)  

Of course on occasion the warnings were confirmed by what

eventuated.  As far as I was concerned, they were doing a ‘Cassandra-like bit

of communicating.   No harm, so long as no-one takes it as an official syndrome.

  As you say, CJ, more of a behavioural phenomenon that can happen between any

partners.

Ron

On 2/27/2012 9:07 AM, rogernmeyer@...

wrote:

I've waited for the dust to

settle on this discussion, but I'd like to join Bill and others who've either

expressed their misgivings or have had much longer dealings with the entire

CADD thing. It seems as though Maxine, who I've known for years, has really

fallen off the jitney with this one. She doesn't need to continuing controversy

stirred up by this fanciful notion to buttress her good work as a couples

counselor. Her first two books were good, as is her workbook, but continuing to

nurse a " condition " made up entirely of whole cloth by someone who

isn't a mental health

research professional seemed a bit of a stretch when Maxine

first came up with the notion, and then continued to repeat it herself and

encourage its repetition by others. Mere frequent mention doesn't make a

falsehood or a false notion any less questionable. The last time I checked,

counselors with only master's degrees and no formal connections with serious

research institutes or other mental health research professionals don't get to

either name or coin conditions expecting them to enjoy common acceptance in

their fields of practice.

I think it's unfortunate that

people refer to the Cassandra dynamic as if it was a bonafide condition,

alphabet-soup acronym and all.

Personally, I think of it as more of a behavioral phenomenon, one among many

predictable patterns that can impact couples in relationships.

Best,

~CJ