people are responsible for my feelings

[Guest guest]

Yesterday I questioned I am responsible for other peoples feelings

after I facilitated a friend and she didn't want to finish the work,

went quiet, and then wasn't open to communicating with me. Or so it

appeared. The thoughts that arouse were that I was responsible for her

feelings and when I looked into it I saw that I wanted her to do The

Work because there was a bad vibe in the house between her and my ex

boyfriend and there was me trying to fix it because it made me

uncomfortable. I saw that I was completely out of my business.

Last night I asked her if she was pissed off with me for asking her

the

four questions and she said No, She just went into fear and couldn't

talk to anyone and this left me seeing how my mind so makes it all

about me and how I think I effect people . Anyway if any of you see

any

underlying beliefs here in this retelling please give me some

feedback,

I'm noticing there are 3 stories running alot of my life,

1. I can make people love/ like me,

2, I'm responsible for their feelings

3, they are responsible for mine

back to I need your love is it true, maybe I'll buy the audio and keep

playing it. I'm enjoying to see how I manipulate and I'm doing

everything for me

People are responsible for my feelings

1, yes

2, no

3, I look to them for my happiness, I am co-dependent, I blame them

when I don't get what I want, I have a tantrum and sulk, I feel pissed

off that they are not in a good mood when I am, I feel like they are

party poopers, I feel hurt and unloved when they don't understand me

ok get specific pip .. I feel angry at shali and gossip about him to

my

friends, i think he is cold and distant and doesn't care about me, I

try and get him to notice me. I let him know that i'm angry I try and

guilt trip him with my sour face.

I feel empty inside, hollow and frustrated.

My mind travels to never being able to have a successful relationship

because my expectations are too high.

It views my friends as boring and then I don't want to hang out.

It blames all my previous lovers as not being avaialable for

relationships.

I treat shalimar as this really important being who can make me or

break me, I hang around him trying to get something and getting

frustrated that it isn't given.

I use my friends as entertainment and when they're not entertaining me

the way I want then I don't want to hang out with them.

I see everyone as an enemy who might make or break my day, I don't

like

uncomfortable situations, i avoid anger, I try and override peoples

feelings by insisting on communiaction because i don't want to feel

bad

anymore.

I give up my truth, I blame and shame myself, I eat chocolate, I don't

get on with my life because i'm so busy over there in their business.

I get to believe i can make people like me

4, I would be totally empowered, I would be owning whats arising for

me

and not projecting it onto one of my friends, I would be more

empowered

in my relationships with men and not waiting around for them to want

to

hang out with me but finding joy in my own life.

I would be sitting on the beach with my friend and asking her if she

is

upset at me rather than creating a story in my mind or just noticing

she isn't talking and all is ok in my world, I would stop trying to

work out whats going on in her mind, I would let shali be silent and

not interpret his quietness as meaning something about me, I would

notice that he walks out the house as I walk in and not think he is

avoiding me .

I would be in my business without this thought

peaceful, calm, loving myself, happy, sitting on my bed, reading,

typing, driving , breathing .

T.A

people are not responsible for my feelings

1, truer People are just a reflection of my thinking and I get to

question it

2, many times I have feelings and I haven't even been around people so

how can they be responsible

3, I get to be free and not reliant on others as my source of

happiness.

T.A

I am responsible for other peoples feelings

1, well I would have to believe this if I believe the opposite and

thankfully I questioned this yesterday and I think I will do it agian

on a regular basis.

T.A

I am responsible for my feelings /My thinking is responsible for my

feelings

1, yes truer, I tell myself the story of what their silence means and

I

make me sad.

2, I tell myself the story of being responsible for their feelings and

make me feel guilty

3, If I think someone else is going to make me happy, I'm insane =)