Re: Holly - one more thing

[Guest guest]

Holly,

Please do not take offense to my last post.Im just giving some perspective

from the other side of your relationship.You are FAR from useless to this

person I guarentee you that.Ive been a caregiver for a while for my mother and

since my girlfriend has come into the picture, my life is much much more

livable.She is my best friend and she makes everything in my life seem

better.But she feels alot like you do, like shes not doing enough.I personally

will know when Ive had too much as a caregiver and something needs to be done

and I would just think that your man will also know.Until then Im sure there is

nothing he would do differently in his situation.Your love and friendship is

something Im sure as a caregiver he is very greastful for.You like my girlfriend

are very gracious and caring people.And Im sure, Just like I am for my

girlfriend, he is very greatful and lucky to have you. My best to you Ron

Ron wrote:

Holly, Hello and welcome.Youll find lots of wonderful people

here.Holly, My advice may not be what you looking for because to tell the truth

my situation is much more like your mans than it is yours.So speaking from a

different point of view, I should just say, maybe just your friendship when he

needs it the most is what the best thing you could give him is.I would think

that that is the best gift one in this situation could receive.No one holds a

gun to any of our heads and makes us be a caregiver.He is probably doing it

because he loves the person deeply.And probably chooses not to have it any other

way.He would probably be doing it wether he and you were together or not and it

can be a very long lonely road.So I say your friendship and love is the best

thing he could receive and that Im sure its more than. enough.

Sorry if this is different than what you wanted to hear but this is just my

oppinion.welcome to the group and my best to you Ron

Holly wrote:

Sandie, thank you so much for your response. The friends and family avenue has

already been driven. No one will help, no one wants the responsibility. I would

love to take turns caregiving, but I'm rather new to the home and while I've

done nothing but try to help or do good deeds, the loved one doesn't trust me

enough to do certain things, ie...meds, baths or showers, getting dressed or

undressed or restroom breaks. All I'm good for is cleaning the house or holding

a conversation. Sometimes I feel so useless and that maybe I'm more in the way

than beneficial. But this person that I have fallen in love with, has become the

love of my life. I'd do anything possible for him and his loved one. But it

seems that on a weekly basis, something new is affecting his health. It scares

me to no end.

New to the group

Hi to everyone, my name is Holly and I'm new to the group. I've heard

such great things about this group and I am seeking some advice. My

situation is a bit different thou, I am not a direct caregiver. I

have fallen in love with someone who is a caregiver. Someone that

spends all day, every day in the same four walls. He receives no help

from friends or family, just me and most of the time I don't know what

I can do. I always feel so helpless. We talk about LBD from time to

time, but he mostly talks with all of you, and I am ok with that. In

fact, I am thankful for this group and giving him other people that

can relate to him better than I. But what really concerns me is him

and his condition. While he says he isn't stressed out, the stress is

taking its toll physically on him. All sorts of things are started to

go wrong or pop up. I think he feels no one understands him (excluding

the group). That he is going stir crazy being inside all day, every

day. He gets no relief, so he can't get out at all. I even feel that

he doesn't think I understand. I feel I do understand, I just don't

go thru the same exact experiences he does. I have the freedom to

come and go. And I don't know how I can help him. When I can, I help

with his loved one, or I will help with house work. But my main

concern is for him. He is the love of my life and I want to spend the

rest of my life with him. I'm just afraid that there may be nothing

left of him by the time this is over. In a couple of years, I may

have to be his caregiver. What can I do to help him? Thank you Holly

Welcome to LBDcaregivers.