(article) Double Rainbow: Asperger's and Girls

[Guest guest]

The online magazine " Bitch " has been running a series lately written by

a young woman on the spectrum. Her articles take a frank look at the

limited way in which spectrum females are viewed in the media and in

books by 'experts', usually non-autistic 'experts'. I'm finding the

series to be interesting reading, and thought I would share.

Here is the most recent article in the series. If you have the time, you may

want to browse the full series as well.

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/double-rainbow-aspergers-and-girls-feminism-autism\

-books

Enjoy (or not),

~CJ

[Guest guest]

CJ wrote:

>

> The online magazine " Bitch " has been running a series lately written by

> a young woman on the spectrum. Her articles take a frank look at the

> limited way in which spectrum females are viewed in the media and in

> books by 'experts', usually non-autistic 'experts'. I'm finding the

> series to be interesting reading, and thought I would share.

>

> Here is the most recent article in the series. If you have the time, you may

want to browse the full series as well.

>

>

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/double-rainbow-aspergers-and-girls-feminism-autism\

-books

Good stuff. Thanks CJ.

- Bill AS, ...retired geneticist

--

WD " Bill " Loughman - Berkeley, California USA

http://home.earthlink.net/~wdloughman/wdl.htm

[Guest guest]

Thanks CJ,

-really enjoyed the series of Articles from 'Bitch' magazine and related comments and I'm afraid

I agree with Tony Attwoods descriptions perfectly.. in his books and excerpts quoted..even though the Aspie writer in 'Bitch' doesn't seem enamoured with them!

I find I agree to a word with Tony Atwood's description of how Aspies can affect their children but most of all, how it feels to be an NT in a relationship with someone with AS..there's no getting away from the fact that its an intellectual relationship more than an emotional one..and for an NT that is going to be 'lonely'..

Fortunately I have learned to enjoy intellectual relating but I do know I feel lonely at times and mildly overall and sometimes I feel like I have a child as a partner rather than an equal adult (as T Attwood said in effect), even though my husband is now in his 60's.

The hardest part is the 'emptiness' that never goes away that seems like a trap as if I had left him, I would be 'empty' as he has filled most of my life and I feel close to him, and love him, if like a brother..and if I stay with him, my life has a void in it ..because there is no 'fun' and he is so serious and gives the feeling (correctly I believe) that unless you are talking within spheres of his special interests, he is not interested after 2 sentences..and that is hard..to never feel 'heard' or that your AS partner never really takes an interest.

Of course he denies this and says he does really care and cannot imagine life without me, but the problem is that he doesn't seem to have any ways that make me feel he cares..and well, we know that emotionally he doesn't care in the same way as other NT's would as he never asks many questions stemming from his own genuine interest..just a few that he feel he 'should' ask to be polite.....

I can see why those with AS feel Tony Attwood writes, maybe without fully consideration and comparison of the complete picture of partnerships and more with a person who has Aspergers, but it really is factual & descriptive writing as I see it at least (from an NT viewpoint )..the only area that seems rather 'grey' is the information from Tony Attwood regarding the female Aspie.

I have a 27 year old Aspie daughter and even I am at times confused by her..she can be many types of people I feel, even now, and seem completely NT to some, but I know from her other actions while growing up and as a child, that her AS traits are strong but she seems to be able to conceal them but then pays for the efforts of 'playing the 'normal' role'

It is hard to be descriptive about relationships between AS & NT's and not sound that the AS person is a negative influence on a partnership..because we have to tell it 'as it is' and although NT's are not perfect in a relationship..the problems seem to come 'built in' with someone with Aspergers and is often said 'It is love but not as we know it' .

My fave book at the moment (and maybe ever!) is '22 Things a Woman Must Know if She Loves A Man with Aspergers Syndrome' by Rudy Simone.

To the point, factual and just so right with regards to my relationship with Tc at least..

Hazel married to Tc (AS) and daughter ADHD, AS

22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome - Rudy Simone

22 Things a Woman Must Know If She Loves a Man with Asperger's Syndrome - Rudy Simone

The online magazine "Bitch" has been running a series lately written by a young woman on the spectrum. Her articles take a frank look at the limited way in which spectrum females are viewed in the media and in books by 'experts', usually non-autistic 'experts'. I'm finding the series to be interesting reading, and thought I would share.Here is the most recent article in the series. If you have the time, you may want to browse the full series as well.http://bitchmagazine.org/post/double-rainbow-aspergers-and-girls-feminism-autism-booksEnjoy (or not),~CJ

The online magazine "Bitch" has been running a series lately written by a young woman on the spectrum. Her articles take a frank look at the limited way in which spectrum females are viewed in the media and in books by 'experts', usually non-autistic 'experts'. I'm finding the series to be interesting reading, and thought I would share.Here is the most recent article in the series. If you have the time, you may want to browse the full series as well.http://bitchmagazine.org/post/double-rainbow-aspergers-and-girls-feminism-autism-booksEnjoy (or not),~CJ