adult only question: sensitive nature::::

[Guest guest]

I have eds, occult tethercord, and I'm herniated by 1.9mm. I've found

that all this together with the pain and decreased sensitivity has made

my love life with my husband non exisitant. He is afraid to approach

me because he doesn't know how I'm feeling at that moment. Also having

to wear bladder protection doesn't make me feel in the mood.

Does anyone know of ways to have relations that lessons the impact on

the neck? Do you have any ideas of how to keep a relationship going

while dealing with the prospect of upcoming surgeries and treatments,

and having your spouse as a caregiver?

Thanks,

in missouri

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately I am alone now, so I do not deal with the problem of sex. I do

miss it, though

Actually when I was married (2001-2004), I never told him no. Yes, it did make

me hurt some, but I made up for it by sleeping when he was at work. I was in the

process of obtaining disability at the time. I also " only " have Chiari and three

herniated discs in my neck. Um, do not bend your head backwards I always took

a shower or bath before going to bed.

It was in a second marriage for both of us, and my ex and his kids were never

willing to learn about *why* I would be in what they called a " bad mood, " and my

ex always pretended to be healthy even though he himself had two back surgeries

during our short-lived marriage. They never took the time to understand how if

one uses up the supply of serotonin on pain there was none left for stress and

vice versa. I guess the stress of him being a recent widower combined with his

three kids who got everything they wanted - and my kid who was Switzerland in

the whole deal - caused him to give up too soon. Our sex life was the one thing

that was good.

That's my two cents worth.

KC in Michigan

surgery 1999, UCLA