Guest guest Posted July 26, 2012 Report Share Posted July 26, 2012 I think this article of mine is relevant to the present discussion: IDIOT, IDIOTER, IDIOTEST Who are the most idiotic people in this world? My vote would go to those who voluntarily become doctors. Look at it from any point of view. Lets consider the financial point, because most people think that doctors earn a lot of money. Who, except an idiot, would waste 10-12 years of his prime youth to study impossibly fat books, just to start on a salary of 5-7 thousand? In half the time you could get double the salary by becoming an engineer. Or better still; you could get quadruple the salary at any Outsourcing Call Centre in no time at all. You might say that setting up a private practice makes better sense, and you would be wrong. The crores that you would invest in your hospital could have earned you many times the returns in any badly performing mutual fund, minus the government licensing and regulation headaches and with fewer taxes too! And all this within the 10-12 years that you would require to qualify as a specialist! What about the job satisfaction aspect? If you think that treating a patient who thinks that a headache constitutes an emergency at 2 AM is satisfaction, then you deserve a place in the Idiot’s hall of fame. How about the honour and respect of society? Wake up, man! What age are you living in? Face one Pollution Control Inspection and all the honour goes down the drain. The lakhs of Consumer suits clearly document the huge respect that doctors command, especially as ‘bakras’. But today, we shall consider a sub-section of these idiotic people. These are the same guys who coined the phrase “Two heads are better than oneâ€. Based on that they conclude that two idiots are better than one. Yes, we are talking about doctors who marry doctors! Shall we call them the ‘Idioter’ people, to coin a new word? The commonest argument that these imbeciles put forward is that marrying someone who shares your profession is that besides your toothpaste and pajamas, you can also share your professional problems 24 x 7. Now tell me who wants to return home after a stressful day working hard and looking forward to stretching out in front of the TV with a cool beer, just to be confronted by a worried wife asking the recent advances in dealing with metastatic lymph nodes after Hemi-glossectomy? You take out your wife on a cool and romantic drive. It is that new car with the retractable sun-moon roof. It is ‘Karva Chauth’ night and you want her to see the moon before she breaks her fast. You say in a husky, seductive voice, “ Dear, now we will see the auspicious moon.†As the moon slips into sight through your dreamy roof, your wife perks up and remarks, “Darling, your auspicious moon reminds me of the suspicious nodule that I removed from the arm pit of my patient. And just like these stars there were some radiating deposits!†REALLY ROMANTIC! Another disadvantage of marrying a medico is the impression factor. You draw yourself up and proudly announce that you completed a Hysterectomy in 30 minutes flat. Your wife interrupts you to inform you that there are hordes of others who can wrap it up in less than 25 minutes! On the other hand, if you have a non-medico wife, you can gravely announce to her on telephone that you are involved in an extremely delicate operation of superimposition of the labia and will be late for dinner, when all you are doing is kissing your assistant. You might even be rewarded with an ultra special ‘Gajjar ka Halwa’ to encourage you to do these complicated operations more often. If you have a husband who sits on a chair and deals with stocks and shares, you can brag that you sweated four and a half hours to dissect out the abscess and save the patient’s life. Your husband will feel suitably guilty about spending hours on his coccyx doing nothing. You should, naturally, avoid discussing that your four and a half hours of tiring effort involved fees much less than he earns in four and a half minutes just shouting two words – ‘Buy’ and ‘Sell’. Another advantage cited for a doctor marrying another doctor is that each can advice the other about some treatment advances or changes. This could be the biggest joke of the century. Two doctors have as much chance of agreeing with each other as and Advani. The conversation could go something like this: “Darling, I have started that Immuno-deficient patient on anti-retro virals.†“How stupid! His CD4 was above 500.†“But baby, he had symptoms of secondary infection.†“You could have taken an expert’s opinion before ruining his life.†“And that expert would be you, huh? What do you think of yourself?†“I don’t know what I think of myself, but if you think you are getting a free dinner today, you had better think again!†So you see, a large majority of these consultations metamorphose into ‘insultations’! At least in this case two heads are a leading cause of one Head – ACHE! There is another sub-section of these Idioter people who can be called the ‘Idiotest’. (Webster is going to kill me.) These people not only commit the grave blunder of marrying a co-doctor, but they even commit the equivalent of jumping into a well by marrying their own class mate! This blunder is usually committed during the height of hormonal upheaval, when the brain takes orders from below the belt, i.e. during college days. By the time the brain regains control, the wife is already in the throes of labour pains and the husband is in the process of becoming a proud, but stupid, daddy! In this class of super-idiots, it becomes almost impossible to commit even a simple task without being reminded about what a fool you were during your younger days. “Darling, how does this purple dress look on me?’ “Er! Nice, of course, …….†“Its no use asking you. You never had any taste. Remember you ran after that curly haired bitch, who wore those atrocious red dresses to college?†“Yes, Darling, but I ultimately came to you.†“Oh yeah! After she rejected you twice!†Or if you are bragging to your son, “Munna, in my college days, people used to call me ‘Rangeela’ or ‘colourful’!†“Oh yes! I remember well! It was right after you spilt all that yellow chromo-glycate on your pants and the teacher advised you to warn everyone about your toilet habits beforehand! Ha! Ha!†Everything considered it is far better to marry someone who cannot make head or tail of your profession; someone who doesn’t know your youthful follies; someone who is easily impressed by your mundane achievements. That is the key to a happy and comfortable married life. ******- And then the title of Super Idiotest definitely goes to those who marry doctors and then send their children to the guillotine of Medicine study voluntarily. Yes! These idiots do exist in today's world. And I am one of them! Kishore Shah 1974 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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