Guest guest Posted July 6, 2012 Report Share Posted July 6, 2012 Here is how the Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. Prashant- TV Anchor Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story. Amrita Shah Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant. Prashant Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill? Amrita Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack " ] Prashant What news of Jack and Jill? Amrita Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw. Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled " ] Amrita Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together? Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water. Amrita And what happened next? Shahid Trivedi Jack fell down and broke his crown Amrita Go on. Shahid Trivedi And Jill came tumbling after. Amrita Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Water errand ends in tragedy " ] Prashant I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen? Professor Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down And broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we are overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown, but the key is 'Jill came tumbling after'. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped. Prashant Professor, thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons, Jack and Jill, went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Obama says he did not deserve the Nobel prize, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We will be right back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2012 Report Share Posted July 7, 2012 Brilliant ! I really felt that I was watching a news channel. Sanjay Marwah '78 ________________________________ To: mgims <mgims > Sent: Saturday, 7 July 2012 12:14 AM Subject: Some More Bakwas  Here is how the Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. Prashant- TV Anchor Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story. Amrita Shah Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant. Prashant Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill? Amrita Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack " ] Prashant What news of Jack and Jill? Amrita Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw. Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled " ] Amrita Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together? Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water. Amrita And what happened next? Shahid Trivedi Jack fell down and broke his crown Amrita Go on. Shahid Trivedi And Jill came tumbling after. Amrita Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Water errand ends in tragedy " ] Prashant I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen? Professor Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down And broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we are overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown, but the key is 'Jill came tumbling after'. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped. Prashant Professor, thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons, Jack and Jill, went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Obama says he did not deserve the Nobel prize, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We will be right back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2012 Report Share Posted July 7, 2012 Oh! This is so good. You have summed up our news channels so well. Particularly in the end about Pakistan launching nuclear warheads and the news still returning to highlight Jack and Jill :-P :-D Ravin '82 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2012 Report Share Posted July 7, 2012 Spot on! Good observation! Anshu > ** > > > Oh! This is so good. You have summed up our news channels so well. > Particularly in the end about Pakistan launching nuclear warheads and the > news still returning to highlight Jack and Jill :-P :-D > > Ravin '82 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2012 Report Share Posted July 7, 2012 Nice one Bharat. Of course, I have read the original version, which had American news interspersed in it. This is more relevant to our milieu. Kishore Shah 1974 -------------------------------------------------- Sent: Saturday, July 07, 2012 7:51 AM To: <mgims > Subject: Re: Some More Bakwas > Brilliant ! > I really felt that I was watching a news channel. > > Sanjay Marwah '78 > > > ________________________________ > > To: mgims <mgims > > Sent: Saturday, 7 July 2012 12:14 AM > Subject: Some More Bakwas > > > > Here is how the > Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery > rhyme. > All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. > > Prashant- TV Anchor > > Two persons > have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion > Jill had > gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his > crown. > Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, > takes > up the story. > > Amrita Shah > > Thank you Prashant. Well, > as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a > pail of > water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling > after. Prashant. > > Prashant > > Thank you Amrita. What do > we know about the hill? > > Amrita > > Not too much. Jack was > going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his > crown. Jill came tumbling after > > [Headline appears at the foot of the TV > screen: " Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack " ] > > Prashant > > What news of Jack and > Jill? > > Amrita > > Prashant, it seems that > Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about > the > pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his > crown > and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the > accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw. > > Shahid > Trivedi > > Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down > and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. > > [Headline appears at > the foot of the TV screen: " Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled " ] > > Amrita > > Jack and Jill. What do we > know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what > were > they doing on the hill together? > > Shahid Trivedi > > Jack and Jill went up the > hill to fetch a pail a water. > > Amrita > > And what happened next? > > Shahid > Trivedi > > Jack fell down and broke his crown > > Amrita > > Go on. > > Shahid > Trivedi > > And Jill came tumbling after. > > Amrita > > Prashant, there you have > it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of > water > when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes > tumbling > after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant. > > [Headline appears at the foot > of the TV screen: " Water errand ends in tragedy " ] > > Prashant > > I have with me in the > studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of > Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A > tragedy > waiting to happen? > > Professor > > Well that > depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and > the > conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. > > Jack and Jill > > Went up the hill > > To fetch a pail of water. > > Jack fell > down > > And broke his crown > > And Jill came tumbling after. > > Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break > his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or > unstable. But > I think we are overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was > carrying the > pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown, but the key is 'Jill came > tumbling > after'. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they > not have > fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests > that > Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped. > > Prashant > > Professor, thank you very > much. So there we have it, two persons, Jack and Jill, went up the hill to > fetch a > pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling > after. > Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President > Obama > says he did not deserve the Nobel prize, and Pakistan launches nuclear > warheads > against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a > studio > discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips > should > be supervised. We will be right back... > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2012 Report Share Posted July 7, 2012 too good awesome ...........news coverage..........wonderful Bharat Sir....... aasawari91 staying away fro news channels for a while............ ________________________________ To: mgims <mgims > Sent: Friday, 6 July 2012 10:44 PM Subject: Some More Bakwas  Here is how the Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. Prashant- TV Anchor Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story. Amrita Shah Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant. Prashant Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill? Amrita Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack " ] Prashant What news of Jack and Jill? Amrita Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw. Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled " ] Amrita Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together? Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water. Amrita And what happened next? Shahid Trivedi Jack fell down and broke his crown Amrita Go on. Shahid Trivedi And Jill came tumbling after. Amrita Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Water errand ends in tragedy " ] Prashant I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen? Professor Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down And broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we are overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown, but the key is 'Jill came tumbling after'. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped. Prashant Professor, thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons, Jack and Jill, went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Obama says he did not deserve the Nobel prize, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We will be right back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 7, 2012 Report Share Posted July 7, 2012 It is not an original. Bharat ________________________________ To: " mgims " <mgims > Sent: Saturday, 7 July 2012 2:32 PM Subject: Re: Some More Bakwas  too good awesome ...........news coverage..........wonderful Bharat Sir....... aasawari91 staying away fro news channels for a while............ ________________________________ To: mgims <mgims > Sent: Friday, 6 July 2012 10:44 PM Subject: Some More Bakwas  Here is how the Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. Prashant- TV Anchor Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story. Amrita Shah Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant. Prashant Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill? Amrita Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack " ] Prashant What news of Jack and Jill? Amrita Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw. Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled " ] Amrita Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together? Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water. Amrita And what happened next? Shahid Trivedi Jack fell down and broke his crown Amrita Go on. Shahid Trivedi And Jill came tumbling after. Amrita Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Water errand ends in tragedy " ] Prashant I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen? Professor Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down And broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we are overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown, but the key is 'Jill came tumbling after'. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped. Prashant Professor, thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons, Jack and Jill, went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Obama says he did not deserve the Nobel prize, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We will be right back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2012 Report Share Posted July 8, 2012 Good one. Do not forget the advts in between. Malini From: mgims [mailto:mgims ] On Behalf Of Bharat Sharma Sent: 06 July 2012 19:45 To: mgims Subject: Some More Bakwas Here is how the Indian TV news channel NDTV 24x7 would report the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme. All names (except those of Jack and Jill), are fictitious. Prashant- TV Anchor Two persons have been injured in a freak climbing accident. Jack and his companion Jill had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water when Jack fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after. Live from the hill, our reporter, Amrita Shah, takes up the story. Amrita Shah Thank you Prashant. Well, as you say, two persons - Jack and Jill - had gone up a hill to fetch a pail of water. Suddenly, Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Prashant. Prashant Thank you Amrita. What do we know about the hill? Amrita Not too much. Jack was going up the hill to fetch a pail of water when he fell down and broke his crown. Jill came tumbling after [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Hill breaks crown of pail-boy Jack " ] Prashant What news of Jack and Jill? Amrita Prashant, it seems that Jack had gone up the hill to fetch a pail of water. We know nothing about the pail, or how heavy it was but it seems that Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. I have here with me, an eyewitness to the accident, Mr Shahid Trivedi. Mr Shahid, tell us what you saw. Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Boy and girl tumble down hill. Water spilled " ] Amrita Jack and Jill. What do we know about them? Are they brother and sister? Are they married? Just what were they doing on the hill together? Shahid Trivedi Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail a water. Amrita And what happened next? Shahid Trivedi Jack fell down and broke his crown Amrita Go on. Shahid Trivedi And Jill came tumbling after. Amrita Prashant, there you have it. Two people innocently going about their business to fetch a pail of water when one of them falls down, breaks his crown, and the other comes tumbling after. Back to you in the studio, Prashant. [Headline appears at the foot of the TV screen: " Water errand ends in tragedy " ] Prashant I have with me in the studio now, Professor Chandrashekar Belagare from the Indian Institute of Applied Hill Sciences. Professor: a hill; Jack; Jill; a pail of water. A tragedy waiting to happen? Professor Well that depends on the hill, the two persons, the object they were carrying and the conditions underfoot. Let us look at the evidence so far. Jack and Jill Went up the hill To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down And broke his crown And Jill came tumbling after. Clearly, one would suspect that if Jack's fall was severe enough to break his crown then the surface of the hill must have been slippery or unstable. But I think we are overlooking something quite fundamental here. Who was carrying the pail? Jack fell down and broke his crown, but the key is 'Jill came tumbling after'. If Jack and Jill had been carrying the pail together, would they not have fallen at the same time? The fact that Jill came tumbling after suggests that Jack lost his footing first and perhaps knocked Jill over as he slipped. Prashant Professor, thank you very much. So there we have it, two persons, Jack and Jill, went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill came tumbling after. Later in the programme, Osama bin Laden captured in Afghanistan, President Obama says he did not deserve the Nobel prize, and Pakistan launches nuclear warheads against key Indian cities. But next up, join us after the break for a studio discussion about hills, boys and girls and whether water-fetching trips should be supervised. We will be right back... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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