The People We Meet

[Guest guest]

 I need not explain why I have written this piece. I would like to have your

comments on its quality. Please pay attention to language (Is it easy to

understand?), coherence (Do the thoughts flow out smoothly and are they linked

properly?) and logic (Have different points been explained adequately and

convincingly? ).

                                                     

       The People We Meet

We meet a number of

persons routinely for various reasons and in different circumstances. A few of

them become our friends. Others are just social acquaintances. Then there are

those who spend a lot of time with us at the workplace. Everyone has different

opinions and feelings about the people in their contact. In some way or the

other, we tend to assess anybody we meet. This judgment decides how close the

other person would be. It also helps us know how much we value that person and

how enjoyable a relationship with him would be. We carry out this social

appraisal all the time. It happens automatically and subconsciously.   

 

We can apply some

deliberate methods to evaluate a person. First, it should be clear as to what

needs to be checked. One would naturally like to know as much as possible about

others. Sometimes a complete assessment is imperative in formal settings. For a

simple assessment, one needs to know personal, social and functional attributes

of the person. An idea about that person’s intelligence, communication skills

and interests will complete the picture.

 

Knowing a person

completely is an elaborate process because of the complex structure of every

personality. Therefore, only a few easily observable and understandable

attributes should be the focus. These qualities are also important because they

are reflective of our basic personality and denote our real worth as a person.

Our

personality is the basis for the people to like us and establish a bond. The

important personal qualities are as follows:

1.    Honesty   It represents righteousness. Honesty gives solidity

to our personality. An honest person will be seen as credible and reliable.

2.    Confidence     A

person’s confidence reflects his self-esteem. Confidence enables a man to

handle all situations easily and effectively.

3.    Rationality    It

is easy to understand and accept a person with rational thinking. Rationality

has a tremendous effect on the functional life because it is equated with

reasoning,

problem solving and decision-making.

4.    Consideration    A

considerate person has due concern for others. He respects their views and

makes concessions for their feelings. He has patience for people with a

different and, sometimes, difficult nature, He has more tolerance and

acceptance for their shortcomings.  This

quality is essential for a true and long-lasting friendship.

5.    Modesty    Modesty is a sign of greatness. A         modest

person will never be overbearing

with others. He has the ability to see his abilities and achievements in

perspective.

6.    Warmth    It

is a special quality: easily felt, but difficult to describe. We immediately

know when we meet a person with an open mind and a warm heart. One feels

comfortable and good in the company of a warm person.

 

“Man is a social

animal†is an age-old cliché. However, this aphorism and its meaning will be

pertinent eternally. Everybody has a status and role in the society. However, at

the basic level, we are interested in a person’s behavior in the common social

settings. In such circumstances, we are judged by the degree of our social

refinement and adaptability. Our sociability is the factor that makes others

pleased with us.

 

Everyone spends a large

part of his life as a functional entity. We have to undertake some work either

for a living or, in a few cases, driven by a personal or public cause. The

output of our work and its quality defines our functional capacity. In our

work, it is important to have compatibility with others. This enables us to

integrate our ideas and initiatives with those of people working with a similar

purpose. Others also assess us with regard to the positive (and the negative)

influence

that we have on them. Authority is an integral part of our functional life. Our

response to superiors in the hierarchy shows our firmness (not to be confused

with rigidity) in our principles and the flexibility (not to be confused with

submissiveness) in our approach. Since power is an important test of a

person’s

beliefs and values, people always watch us to know how we use the authority

vested

in our position. We demonstrate our maturity and justness through our

authority. People constantly evaluate and appreciate our functional

accomplishments. 

 

We feel real

enjoyment in certain relationships. Going beyond enjoyment, some experiences

lead to enrichment. It is a privilege to be with an intelligent person. Common

interests give depth to our relationships. Even a person with a sharp intellect

and varied interests should be able to communicate his thoughts coherently and

precisely to engage others meaningfully. People who can match your

intelligence, share your interests and comfort you with their conversations

have a special place in your life.

 

There is a considerable

overlap between the different aspects of our character. We do not always deal

with others in totality. There are situations when we interact with people in a

restricted manner. Notwithstanding the nature and the strength of our

relationship with a person, we still assess him against our own and the general

standards. The real assessment demands that the assessor himself should have a

stable and positive personality without any gross aberrations. We must judge

ourselves before we decide to judge others.

Bharat