communicate with family members

[Guest guest]

Hi peoples, I hope everyone is having a pain free day. I would like to ask

the group a question regarding speaking to their children if they have any

about what is going on with your health. I have been asking myself if I was

doing the right thing by not telling my kids as to where I stand at the

present. I have had to slow down considerably and only work on a few hour a

week basis now since the headaches have started. My daughter said to me

the other nite how her best friend doesn't sleep much and she is always

tired all the time. Just like you mom. I took offense to that comment and

said well if you could understand how I feel you. That is all I said.

During the nite after the kids went to bed I realized that I haven't been

open to them and that how would she know if I don't tell her or my son. My

husband knows everything but we have really never sat down with the kids and

explained anything to them. I found notes in my daughters room a few years

ago when this all started and I cried. It was heart warming yet I felt

distressed.

My husband and I felt that what they don't know won't hurt them and they

won't worry as much. My daughter will be 18 this year and my son is 15.

When they see that I don't feel well they have a worried look on their face.

I feel that if I don't tell them and I get better than they didn't worry for

nothing and everything is fine.

Sorry this is so long but I guess I am having one of those days.

mcd666@...

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[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I think you should tell your children everything for 2 reasons, one they are old enough to understand and I'm sure they KNOW something is terribly wrong... let them have the comfort of truth intead of a worse fear. Two, because they don't know the truth, they may feel resentful and cheated by your behavior.

Don't we all on this list fret and get upset when our doctors don't tell us what is wrong? Well, transfer those feelings to your children.

Just my opinion.... I know there is no one right way; I'm just remembering when I was a child the not knowing (in any family crisis) was worse than being told what was going on!

Luella

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[Guest guest]

I totally agree....my kids have been my source of comfort, love and resolve to keep on going for 14 years. They are the best and have been in on this...and with me for all of that time. They have learned to appreciate handicaps and assist...not laugh....or ridicule....they are very loving and caring kids...they wouldn't hurt a flea!!

Hugs, Nancee

Re: communicate with family members

Dear ,

I think you should tell your children everything for 2 reasons, one they are old enough to understand and I'm sure they KNOW something is terribly wrong... let them have the comfort of truth intead of a worse fear. Two, because they don't know the truth, they may feel resentful and cheated by your behavior.

Don't we all on this list fret and get upset when our doctors don't tell us what is wrong? Well, transfer those feelings to your children.

Just my opinion.... I know there is no one right way; I'm just remembering when I was a child the not knowing (in any family crisis) was worse than being told what was going on!

Luella

eGroups.com home: /group/chiariwww. - Simplifying group communications

eGroups.com home: /group/chiari

www. - Simplifying group communications