Just talking

[Guest guest]

I didn't know whereelse to go in order to discuss my feeling. You

out there who read and feel my e-mails and answer them have become

part of my family.

Nothing bad happened today it was a family Thanksgiving in which I

did most of the cooking due to the fact my mother had foot surgery,

which I don't mind helping. After awhile my feet started hurting

and I stood as long as I could on pins and needles. I finally had

to sit down and realease the preasure.

I know I don't look sick half, no over half the time. But I feel

like my family doesn't understand what I go through and I really

don't know how to explain it. I gave my mother the book to read on

the plane to New York, she gave it back a couple days later and said

nothing basically. I don't believe she actually read it.

It seems everyday I am adding symptoms or the intensity of the old

ones are rising. I don't really tell them and they don't ask

anymore. It was like it was set in their minds after NY that I am

fine, since decompression is not needed at the time. But I have to

watch the tethered chord. Added onto that I am possibly going to

schdule a hysterectomy on 12/3. Don't get me wrong I love my kids

and would not having more, but do to the severity it does not look

like I am going to have achoice.

I don't know I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I am now on

sleepin pills. Tonight I was so exhausted that I dozed off twice,

figured I didn't need the pills. Well here I am at 2am up and now

waiting for the pill to work. I guess I want the support that I get

from the group from my family. I don't want to look physcally ill.

But I need them to understand that even I don't look ill, it doesn't

mean I am not in pain.

Well it looks like the pill is starting to work so let me go.

Happy Turkey Day! Thank you for letting me fuss.

Nesey