Re: Recommended article - Cassandra and Apollo (Maxine Aston)

[Guest guest]

She looks to be pretty up on this. I am going to one of her Cassandra workshops

next week. Can't wait, and sort of nervous about it! Will let you know how it

goes.

>

> Hi all......

>

> " Cassandra Syndrome " has been brought up a fair amount here. As I have been

working on my GCA Wiki website for resources, I came across this one article by

Maxine Aston (noted author of " Aspergers In Love " among other books she has

written) which gives a great explanation of what " Cassandra Syndrome " is.

>

> Here is the link to read more about it:

> http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/cassandra/canda.shtml

>

>

> Thanks,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Delyth, thank you for posting this... it is just so validating.

Over the years, I've attempted to emphasize this point in

communities where NT partners (of Aspies) are the majority, only to

feel dismissed (and occasionally attacked) for being

"unsupportive".  I think many people don't care to hear that they

too bring their own baggage to a relationship, and the Aspie partner

alone cannot be regarded as the sole source of their unhappiness and

dashed dreams.

While it's usually NT women who express their pain by blaming their

Aspie partners for every unhappiness and missed opportunity in their

lives, I'm sure some NT male partners (of Aspie females) do the same

(my late husband being a prime example).  Of course, we may never

know to what extent, as men (in my experience) seem to be less

likely to participate in communities of this sort.

That being said, I don't think the Cassandra Phenomenon is a total

fiction.  I just think the label gets tossed around a bit too freely

by NT partners (of Aspies) who refuse to accept that their own

baggage (and unrealistic expectations of marriage) also play a major

role in their unhappiness.  However, people being people, it's

usually much easier to blame someone else than to actually exercise

responsibility for self.

Best,

~CJ (who reads Kathy Marshack, without apologies to anyone)

I wonder if the symptoms of 'CADD' are the same as those

shown by any adult who has had a difficult childhood where needs

are not met.

In the support group that I run, I think every NT person who

comes along has had a difficult childhood, within which they

experienced some level of emotional neglect (if not other

neglect too), and consequently they experience difficulties

getting their emotional needs met as adults.

Possibly, this comes to light particularly in AS/NT

relationships where the AS person is generally less able to

identify and meet emotional needs intuitively.

I am not sure that just because the signs of this childhood

neglect becomes apparent in an adult relationship (with an

Aspie), the relationship, or AS person, is actually the cause...

it seems to me that possibly the problems started much earlier

in life but only become apparent when their relationship fails.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Becky...looking forward to it.

> >

> > Hi all......

> >

> > " Cassandra Syndrome " has been brought up a fair amount here. As I have been

working on my GCA Wiki website for resources, I came across this one article by

Maxine Aston (noted author of " Aspergers In Love " among other books she has

written) which gives a great explanation of what " Cassandra Syndrome " is.

> >

> > Here is the link to read more about it:

> > http://www.maxineaston.co.uk/cassandra/canda.shtml

> >

> >

> > Thanks,

> >

> >

>