Politicians in Hell

[Guest guest]

Many of

you are understandably mourning the loss of another master, the unforgettable

Mehdi Hassan. A few equally good artists have recently preceded him heavenwards.

It is sad

indeed. Somebody has remarked in jest that God should be careful in calling

people to his kingdom. I know we would be relieved to see many of

the undesirable politicians disappear from this world. I am

afraid even God cannot gather enough courage to have them creating disorder

there.

 

Anyway,

once a few of our politicians departed this world in quick succession. They

were barred entry to heaven and were directed to hell instead. They protested

but in vain. They were dragged from the site where they were on a dharna and

deposited in hell. One of them, who were more enterprising and adaptive,

consoled others at God's discriminatory attitude. However, they soon

felt assured that they would work out something for themselves. Feeling much

better, they encouraged one another to settle down quickly.

 

They got

into a routine soon. They discussed what they used to do on earth.

Surprisingly, everyone was candid to reveal things that they used to

be accused of and which they denied vociferously. There were details about the

property each one of them had amassed. One of them was honest to admit huge

amounts of money his party took to vote this way or that in the Parliament and

the Assemblies. One chap brazenly flashed his Swiss bank credit card. He also

showed the slip with the last balance. Others went dizzy counting the digits in

the amount shown as the balance. Thereafter they always regarded him with both

envy and admiration. 

 

God had

instructed his men to keep an eye on our netas. Therefore,

there was very little scope for any mischief. There were signs of restlessness,

though. They were getting bored with their discussions. They started demanding

things. God was firm in denying the VIP status they thought they were

automatically entitled to. This caused a lot of resentment, but they were

helpless. There was no end to God's amusement when one of them asked for a

dozen of paans everyday. 

The netas got

more and more homesick. Although dead, their interest in politics was still

alive. They talked about the possible coalitions in the world they had left

behind. Fed up with 'life' in an extremely controlled environment, they

wanted some excitement. The following day they petitioned God to

provide them with some means of communication so that they could

speak to their families and chelas. Showing due

consideration, God had a PCO established for them. (This was before the mobile

revolution.) 

They

rushed to the PCO immediately. The guard ordered them to form a queue before he

let anybody inside. Before that, they would line up only in front of the High

Command. They all finally got the chance to make their calls. They talked to

their heart's content and to whomever they wished. Then they were presented

with the bills. They gasped in disbelief when they saw huge amounts (the

biggest amount was Rs 1,39,739 ) charged to them for a single call. Everyone

was agitated when he found Laloo was charged only Rs 17 for his call, which had

been as long as his call. They created such a big ruckus that God

himself had to come to the PCO. They waved their bills in God's face and asked

why Laloo had been charged such a small amount. God understood their point of

view. First, he pacified them. Then he announced nonchalantly that 'from hell

to Bihar' is a local call.

 

PS: On

hearing God's comments, Nitish Kumar has sent a letter of protest to God.

 

Bharat